(Closed) Reactions to baby names… ugh

posted 4 years ago in Names
Post # 61
Member
7161 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

My SIL, who is white, said “I hope you don’t name the baby Shaniqua if it’s a girl.” (I’m African American and her brother, my DH, is biracial) Her brother had to speak to her about that one. She thought she was being funny but I don’t think a lot of people see how threads of racism tint their thinking and comments. She would never have thought to tell a Mexican woman “I hope you don’t name the baby Maria or Guadalupe.”

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you have a smooth and easy delivery.

Post # 62
Member
8370 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I have a friend named bartholomew, his nickname is Ben. I prefer that to bart or barry.

Post # 65
Member
937 posts
Busy bee

When a friend of mine told me she was planning to name her daughter Jenelle, my first thought was of Jenelle of Teen Mom fame. Jenelle has been arrested a dozen times and can be seen on Monday nights on MTV screaming at her mother, who is raising her child. 

But, what she names her own child is none of my business. I said, “that’s a pretty name!” I did, rather slyly, a couple weeks later ask if she ever watches Teen Mom. She said she’s never seen it. That’s what I thought she’d say lol.

 

Post # 66
Member
937 posts
Busy bee

Regarding the Game of Thrones character, who cares? It’s not like that show will be around forever. Every name on planet Earth has examples of unsavory people who shared that name.

Post # 67
Member
2876 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

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kharpe6 :  I think at this point you’re going to have to make the topic of names off limits with your friends.  I would say that this is your choice of names and your would appreciate it if they kept their opinions to themselves. Then change the subject.  I don’t know what else you can do.  If you ask for opinions (not that you necessarily did) you’re definitely going to get opinions, and even if you didn’t ask, people feel like they’re entitled to give their opinions anyway.

FWIW, one of my good friends is pregnant and knows she’s having a girl.  They have a name picked out that is in the top 10 of girls’ names right now.  She knows that, doesn’t care and hasn’t asked anyone’s opinion.  She’s very confident in her choice and is firm when she tells everyone that she does not want to hear opinions.  It’s not a name I would have picked because I don’t like super trendy names but to each their own.  I do think, however, that it can be beneficial when people give constructive opinions, like pointing out that the child would have weird initials or a nickname that is undesirable.

The only people that have to like the name are you and your DH.

Post # 68
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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kharpe6 :  wow, I’m suprised you held it in as well as you did.  That’s really shitty of them, and I would honestly be questioning whether they’re as good friends as I thought…it’s not just that they don’t like your baby names – they’re kinda rasict!

Post # 70
Member
750 posts
Busy bee

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kharpe6 :  
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TwilightRarity :  I’m so sorry, this is racism plain and simple. White people are effed the hell up.

I immigrated to the US from Eastern Europe as a teenager, and this is what I’ve noticed with names: Names associated with white English speaking people are seen as “normal,” even the weird ones. Names associated with white people in Western Europe are seen as “sophisticated” and “chic” (think French names or Italian names).

Names associated with white people not considered “Western” are seen as “weird” but given a pass because they are white. I’m Eastern European and people think my family’s names are weird and hard to pronounce, but they try. Basically we get a pass because we’re white.

Likewise, when white people name their kids really strange and made up names, they get a pass because they’re white (ex. Tagg, Track, Apple, Destry, etc).

Names associated with non-white people are seen as inferior. Unfortunately. Especially African American names. I know why it happens, but I cannot for the life of me understand why people can’t wake the hell up.

It’s so messed up that there is a pass to white people who name their kids weird sh!t. I know that it’s because of racial inequality and power structures, but it’s messed up and it makes me sick. Unfortunately there is not much I can do but give you guys internet hugs and continue fighting systemic racism in my local community.

OP, hopefully this can be a teachable moment for your friends. I am very sorry that you have to go through this. At the very least they should apologize their butts off and learn to be more open minded and how to STFU in the future. They don’t sound like great friends and you and your DH deserve better.

Sorry, you probably don’t want to hear from some random white chick, but I just wanted to tell you that your experiences are valid and that the world is fucked up and I’m sorry.

Post # 72
Member
750 posts
Busy bee

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kharpe6 :  Exactly. You are completely right. And I commend you for being so composed in the face of that. Many people would have lost their sh!t.

Post # 73
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I LOVE Tyrion,  but I think Bartholomew sounds like an old Kings name ๐Ÿ˜

By the way,  these names are very Game of Thrones of you ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

But in all seriousness… you cannot possibly me mad that someone associated black people with having unique names,  especially when you’re on here associating white people with run of the mill boring names.

You see the irony in this, yes?

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