Post # 1
We originally planned to get married next year, around April. That would put things very close to FI’s PhD graduation (=big massive party) in June though and I have been thinking that pushing the wedding back to 2018 might be quite nice. It would also place it right between the years in which we get our PhDs – so one big party each year for the next 3 years! It soundd like a lot of fun but I am a little worried that people will think we are just pushing the wedding back as far as we can? I would not mind the extra time and I might be abroad for 4 months next year, but that would mean a 2 year engagement. Nobody has been told a date yet, only that we are aiming for March-June next year.
I don’t usually care what people think but in my head engagements have always been a year. There have also been a three long-term engangements in my family that never ended in a wedding (7+ years) and to be honest, I am slightly worried people might not take us serious anymore if they hear we push things back a year (probably me overthinking and being irrational but I cannot help it….). I guess my question is, how did people react to your long engagement?
Many thanks in advance!
Post # 2
We set our date about 18 months out and everyone said how smart it was. Because their one year time to plan a wedding was crazy stressful. This way we had plenty of time to get the venue we wanted etc.
Post # 3
We are having an average length engagement (maybe a little on the long side) -between 14 and 15 months. No one has said anything to us about it, but logistically it works out best because we wanted to get married in the late spring but got engaged in early spring last year.
The one thing I can say about long engagements is that by the end of it, you really just want to be married already. I’m almost at my finish line but the last 2 months seem to drag by. It sounds like you have very good personal/academic reasons to want to wait. Wedding planning can be a tough and busy process, so it’s wise to wait until you can fully commit to the planning.
Post # 4
We are getting married this August, and it will have been 2 years and 3 months since we got engaged.
We had some people say how smart we were, and some people said we were nuts to wait that long, and of course you get the ever so classy bunch who make comments that we would never actually get married, Fiance must have cold feet, maybe we couldn’t afford it, blah blah blah. At the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you and your Fiance.
As for a long engagement, there were so many times I felt bummed because it always seemed impossibly far away, but now we have less than 5 months to go and I’ve had literally NO stress due to the amount of time I’ve had to plan. Plus, I got first dibs on all my preferred vendors, and most of them gave me 2014/2015 pricing. Win win. 🙂
Post # 5
I agree with PP, I only ever got positive comments about it. Our engagement was 2 years. We honestly didn’t even do anything the first year and I really enjoyed that. It was nice to just be engaged. We were together for 7 years when he proposed and I never felt like no one took us seriously. All we heard was, “Finally!” 🙂
Post # 6
Our engagement is 22 months long. People definitely say “Why are you waiting so long??” etc. and didn’t really take us seriously at first, but other people think it’s great that we just wanted to enjoy being engaged and take our time planning. I’m SO thankful I took my time planning. If you’re worried about people not taking you seriously, maybe set your date and book your venue? So that way you are least setting things in motion. My biggest reasons for having a long engagement were because I was finishing my undergrad degree in 3 years rather than 4 so I was taking a lot of extra classes, leaving little time for any wedding planning! Also because I just kind of wanted to enjoy the new status of our relationship without SO much pressure of wedding planning. I feel like people will definitely understand your reasoning for pushing the wedding back… I mean, 2 PhD’s?! You guys rock!
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull
Our engagement is 19 months, still a year out from the Wedding!
People have been pretty supportive – it gives everyone plenty of time to save, which they like!
We also got first dibs on all vendors – we haven’t been turned down by any due to lack of availability which is good 🙂 we also got 2014 pricing with the venue as I booked it before we were engaged!
As I say, we’re a year out and pretty much everything is sorted, which is great as we won’t be stressing nearer the time 🙂
We’re getting married on our 9th Anniversary, so like TaraMay_: people are mostly just saying “finally!” haha
Post # 8
iwanticecream: We were engaged for 2.5 years. DH’s parents thought it was a horrible idea and had no shame in telling us (among other things that ruined our relationship with them). Everyone else was 100% supportive, and we would do the same thing over again if we went back in time. It gave us lots of time to plan….less stress….we finished school….while still making it known to everyone in our life that yes, we were planning a future together and were not just casually dating anymore.
Post # 9
I have been engaged for two years and now our wedding is next month! We got engaged after dating for five years and wanted to save money for the wedding before we got married. People asked and we just told them the truth, that we wanted to save money and we weren’t in a rush! Waiting for two years helped me get better pricing on everything and I was able to take the time to find the best deals and get the date at the venue I wanted. I didn’t really have any negative reactions that we waited for two years. Good Luck!
Post # 10
I’ve been engaged since 2007 😳
Hahaha! 2 gorgeous children and a house has happened since then, and we are finally doing it next summer! 🙂
You guys get married when it works for you!
Post # 11
We got engaged in December 2014, and we did NOTHING for the first year. We didn’t even really talk about a wedding until late 2015. Fiance and I have a young daughter, he was working out of province, and I’m busy with my undergrad. Money isn’t even really the issue; we just had too much stuff going on in 2015 to plan a wedding. 2016 was going to be our planning year, and we’ve made good on that so far. I’ve had a really easy time booking vendors. We’ll be engaged for 2 years and 3 months when we get married.
We’ve had a couple of snide comments – somebody assuming that we didn’t have the money to have a wedding, and another making a comment that we were taking so long because we weren’t going to get married at all. But those comments came from people who seem to make rude comments no matter what we do, so whatever. When people ask, we just tell them that we’re in no rush. Nobody else seems to mind, haha.
Post # 12
We have an almost 2 year engagement. Some people think it’s smart others just don’t understand but EVERYONE always wants an explanation. No matter what you choose do what’s best for you And your fi because really that’s all that matters! 🙂
Post # 13
- Wedding: May 2018 - City, State
We’ve been engaged for 2 years and still have no solid wedding plans because life. People sometimes will joke that we will never get married and blah blah blah but frankly IDGAF because we are doing what works best for us. Do you.
Post # 14
Pffft my OH and I are having a 2 year engagement at least! (We are in different countries and we need to figured out immigration stuff) So if I were you, I wouldn’t worry what other people thought. It sounds to me you have good reasoning for it so I’d just stick with that 🙂
Post # 15
Our engagement period is about 20 months. Fiance proposed January 2015 and we are getting married October 2016. We only started planning about 2 months ago, and that was quite nice. We would have even considered doing it 2017 but honestly weddings get more and more expensive every year so we figured we settled for this year.