(Closed) read the envelope!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yea… I remember when I was collected address info from our guests and they automatically included thier children…

We’re having an adult only wedding sooooooo yea… lotsa fun!

Good luck and just breathe 😉

Post # 4
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m 26 years old and I have lived on my own for 4 years now (not really counting college) and when people send invites to showers and such to my mom they include me on the invitations as though I were still a child living at home.  Perhaps that is just what is done in their family? who knows.  But i would sure like to start receiving my own invitations for things 🙁

Post # 5
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There has to be a name for the red spot brides get in the middle of their foreheads from banging their heads against walls.

Post # 6
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Believe me, it wont be the first!

For our engagement party, one of my cousins couldnt come, so the mother asked if the sister could “bring a friend”? Its not a ticket to a concert, we dont want strangers there!

Post # 7
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Miss Sydney: I love your concert ticket reference! I’m gonna remember that one. Well played! Wink

Post # 8
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

People assume what they want, regardless of what you wrote on the envelope.

Look forward to more to come. Just make sure you stick to your guns.

Post # 9
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

You are experiencing one of the many problems with printed “Save-the-date” notices: that they are impersonal and ambiguous.

You are relying on the rule that “the names on the envelope list who is invited”, but by the standards of rigourous etiquette, that rule applies to the inner envelope of engraved invitations that omit the write-in line. Save-the-dates with no inner envelopes can’t rely on those rules, especially since they are a new made-up form that doesn’t come under the purvue of formal etiquette. Outer envelopes have to conform to postal-service requirements, and social correspondence is correctly directed to the social head(s)-of-household on the outside, regardless of whom is addressed on the inside.

The formal-etiquette way of letting people know ahead of time, so that they can make travel and vacation arrangements, is to write a personal note to the people that you really want to be there. Personal notes can be a lot less ambiguous, because you can customize the note to the individual you are writing to — and the person reading it knows it isn’t just a form-letter that might not apply in their unique situation.

Anyway, in this case it looks like you’re going to have to have the personal call or correspondence to clear things up, anyway. Good luck.

Post # 10
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@aspasia475: Very nice and clear reminder! Thank you!

Post # 11
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

@aspasia475: Interesting and good to know. Maybe I’ll hand write a note on the back of all of our save the dates (they’ll be single-sided). 😛

Post # 12
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@bellagio: That is actually a really good idea. It lets you keep the fun of having save-the-date cards, but turns them into informal “note-cards” with a kind personal touch. I like that.

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