Post # 1
So, my best friend’s wedding was this past weekend. I was a bride’s maid and my husband was a groom’s man. I have been friends with the bride for 14 years and we are still really close. A couple months ago because of some drama she fired her Maid/Matron of Honor. So, her 18 year old sister was was given the role. But, being 18 and just starting college her sister didn’t do much of anything to help. So, I drove to her house (9 hour drive) and stayed for two days before her bridal shower working to get everything together and organized. I bascially worked really hard and took charge of the event-and was able to help throw her a beautiful shower. For her wedding this weekend both me and my husband drove the 9 hours the Thursday before the wedding so we could be there all day Friday to help. My husband spend most of the day Friday moving about 30 really heavy picnic tables at the reception space, setting up all the tables and chairs, and helping to put up two gaint tents. Again, her sister didn’t do anything so I took the responsibilities of MOH-all with a good attitude and just happy to help.
So-here’s the drama. It was about midnight the night of the wedding. The reception was over and a small group of about 10 people were hanging out at the bride’s mom’s house for a little after party. Through the groom’s work they rented a $400,000 Rolls-Royce to drive around for the day. It was parked in the drive way, and my husband and I were helping the bride carry some stuff out ot the car. My husband leans against the car. The bride yells at him to not lean on the car. My husband didn’t move right away but just kinda looked at her blankly and said something like “are you yelling at me for leaning on the car?” He still didn’t move-I think he was just in shock that this was happening. She FLIPPS out and starts yelling at both of us-I mean totally lost her temper screaming. She then gets into the car and moves it to the street. My husband and I are pretty shocked, and just walk inside back to the party. After about 10 minutes the groom asks me and my husband to come outside. We do, and he immediately starts screaming at both of us, all while the bride is pouting in the car. My husband is sweeet and just starts to apoliogize. I am a bit more stubborn and push back against being yelled at for LEANING ON A CAR. After about 5 minutes I am sick of it and turn my back and walk back inside to join the party. A little while later both my husband and the groom ask me to apologize to the bride. I say no. We were staying with the bride and groom all weekend, and were planning on staying at their house that night as well. But, instead both me and my husband crash at her mom’s house that night. When we come back to their house the next mourning to pick up our stuff both the bride and groom apoligize, and explain that they were both really stressed about having the resoponsibility of such an expensive car. I don’t say much. Just hug them and tell them to have fun on the honeymoon, and then we leave.
Help me sort this out. My feelings are really hurt. As we drove away I started crying. It just hurts to work so hard, and then to be turned around and treated like this. What would you have done in this situation? What should I do from here? When they’re back from their honeymoon I need to let both of them know how much they hurt me, but is that right? What would you do?
Post # 2
They owned up and apologized. There was likely some alcohol involved and it was a high stress day for them. I’d move on.
Post # 3
Do I think the bride and groom were wrong for yelling at you and your husband? Sure do.
But really? Who leans like that on a $400,000 rental car? That was pretty careless of your husband to do. It didn’t deserve the yelling but it is still a douchey thing to do to a stressed and tired bride and groom.
Post # 4
They already apologized and explained, so I’m not exactly sure what you’re looking to accomplish by bringing it up again. I mean, it was a $400,000 car… He shouldn’t have been leaning on it to begin with, and regardless how the bride handled it, it was her wedding day so adding drama to a good memory does nobody any good.
They apologized, let it go.
Post # 5
I agree that the bride has an overreaction to yelling at your husband for the car. But I think you refusing to accept their apology on such an important (and stressful!) day for the couple, make your response equally as immature.
I think you need to get over it, and not hold any grudges.
Post # 6
The fact that you and your husband were so helpful to the couple with wedding prep would not have been front of mind in a moment of stress/anger. Have you ever blown something out of proportion and then had to apologize, OP? When I lose my temper about inconsquential things with my husband, I’m not thinking about how helpful and thoughtful he is 99.9% of the time… I think we’ve all had that experience of tunnel vision at the end of a long, stressful day. I would absolutely let this go.
Post # 7
Well right now you are the biggest perpetrator of the drama.
Sounds like two people who had a long, emotional day were stressed about having an expensive car they don’t own (and could have potential employment implications if they do damage it). They let their emotions get the best of them and over reacted. Was that wrong? For sure.
But then you decided to double down on drama by being “stubborn” and then not accept what sounded like a sincere apology. You had your opportunity to say you were hurt and then accept their apology (or at least acknowledge it) and instead you decided to be rude and ignore their apology and not even acknowledge it and drag this drama out even longer. You want a double apology? Their first born? They already apologized and you ignored it. Ball is in your court now.
Personally, I’m not sure why you NEED them to know you are still hurt unless it is for more drama and attention. They probably already figured it based on all of the events that transpired that night which is why they apologized in the morning. So I guess from here I would do some self-reflection on why you feel the need to be so stubborn and have the last word and can’t accept apologies when they are given. Then move on. If you are really incapable of that, then when they get back say something like “I’m sorry I didn’t accept your apology sooner – I was hurt and still processing my feelings. I do accept your apology and would like to move on to happier things. How was the honeymoon?”
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
If I rented a nearly half million dollar car, you best believe I will correct anyone who even breathes in it wrong. What if your husband had scratched it? And why did he continue to lean on it after she told him to get off? I don’t think they should have yelled at you guys about it but they did apologize. If you want to stay mad about it you can, but beyond apologizing there is nothing they can do.
Post # 9
It could be this was the last straw of all of the issues you had with her throughout her wedding. So maybe your feelings were bottled up and came out too strongly in reaction to this situation.
Cuz yeah, he shouldn’t have leaned on a $400,000 rental the groom got through his work. Yikes. And they shouldn’t have screamed. Wth. But they apologized.
why did your husband think you should apologize to the bride? It was wrong of you not to at that point as well, esp because it was her wedding night.
It sounds like a lot of built up resentment, a lot of extra work and time on her wedding when you were already upset over not being asked to be MOh, and maybe exhaustion topped with alcohol made a combustible evening.
Post # 10
I would not bring it up. They owned up to their behavior and apologized. I have to imagine they are aware that what they did was hurtful. I can’t see any good coming of rehashing the situation
Post # 11
I would like to clarify. My husand was not leaning his entire weight on the car. His body was touching the car. If he was sitting back with his whole weight on the car I would agree with all of you. But his body was touching it while he helped put things in the trunk.
Post # 12
They are the kinds who flip now and think later. Give them a chance to redeem themselves. Don’t keep lingering on this one incident though. It was unfortunate but its over.
If people are that stressed out over a Rolls, they shouldn’t have one even for a day. Rolls aren’t fragile and they can be leaned on without a problem. She moved the car to the street? Where anybody could crash into it? She isn’t too smart, and doesn’t think.
Post # 13
I think the bride may have been a little aggressive, but I also think the problem would have stopped if your husband just moved when first asked. If someone tells me not to touch something of theirs, I don’t touch it. There is no need to argue with them or make them explain, even if they sound crazy. It is their stuff. Were people perhaps a little bit drunk at this point in the evening? This story sounds like everyone’s reaction time was a little slow and everyone’s level of emotional response to the situation was a little high. I suppose it could also have just been stress as you pointed out. It is too bad this had to mess up the end of a nice day that many people put a lot of work into. I would personally try to forget it ever happened, if I were you. I don’t think this is something that is worth ending a friendship over.
Post # 14
pearlrose : It’s not going to end our friendship, and I will get over it. At this point I’m not mad, I’m just hurt. It’s just hard for me to imagine treating people like that. It’ll just come down to me getting over my hurt feelings.
Post # 15
I think it was pretty wrong of both of them to treat you that way, doesn’t matter if alcohol was involved or if they were stressed. Doesn’t give anyone the right to treat someone crappy, especially since you and your husband were both very helpful to them.
Regardless, I probably wouldn’t bring it up again to them. I’m sure they feel bad if they have apologized already. Maybe get some space from them for a bit, give it a few weeks and see if you still feel hurt. They were rude yeah but this doesn’t sound like a friendship ending event unless they regularly act like this to you, and in that case why are y’all even friends?