Post # 16
I’m in the same spot, though I’ve warmed up to the thought of kids more so in the last few months. I’ve known I’ve always wanted kids, and there are things I can’t wait to do as a mom.
My big thing is .. I already feel so busy with my job, husband, dog, and house. I already have limited time to relax and enjoy some down time .. I can’t imagine adding a baby to the mix. I feel like I’d go crazy. How do you moms do it all?!
Our timeline is to start trying in the next 18-24 months, most likely. I hope I’m feeling better about it all before then.
Post # 17
How old are you, if I may ask?
Post # 18
MrsYoshida: That is a helpful way to think about it! Thank you! I’ll keep that in mind as I go. I really like how you phrased your story. Are you a writer? Because you could be 🙂
Post # 19
ElleWoods: I will be 29 this summer, so age-wise I think its a good time. I just got really freaked out as my “someday” kids turned into “today” kids. As you go, you should think about it like MrsYoshida described!
Post # 20
Thanks all! I should clarify that I don’t see myself as having a childfree life, I am just trying to figure out how to feel confident that the time is right. And I am trying to specifically NOT do it because its “the next thing”.
I am a planner – I wanted to get married, get two dogs, and then after a year start babies. I wanted to be a successful career woman. But we have been married a year and our cats (from my childhood) prevent us from getting the dogs. And I am unemployed (we are fine financially) with no career success to look back on.
So I got really anxious thinking about taking the plunge – kids forever – does that mean I will never have a successful career? I do want to stay home for a good amount of time with them, I am not good at multitasking, I like to focus on one thing at a time. So all of a sudden I fast forward to 10 years from now, being a mom re-entering the workforce trying to find success with little experience to show even before the kid gap.
With the dogs, I had a nice little picture of me and my husband going to dog training class together and really working together through that experience of classes and practice. Now any dog we get, it would be a family affair at training and most likely would be me and the kid(s) with my husband skipping it – or one of us going and the other staying home with the kid. I get really sad that I have to let that picture go.
On the other hand, like a PP mentioned, some people don’t feel confident until they are in it and it makes sense to me that I am one of those people. I worry and hesitate on everything, I will be doing some serious thinking over the next few weeks. Might be time to hit the “go” button and live life!
Post # 21
Ever since I was 15, I felt more certain than anything that I never wanted to be a parent. During my very first conversation I had with my now husband, I asked if he wanted kids. If he did, there’s no way I would have wasted his time.
Ultimately it’s a personal decision. I have a million reasons why i would never want kids and no real compelling reason to reconsider. You can always watch vice news and become pessimistic and figure it’s probably best not to worry about your child growing up in this crazy world.. heh
Post # 22
I feel like I have to be ready because I am old (42). I honestly have always wanted kids and started thinking more about it in my 30’s. I was still dating then though nd started thinking more seriously about it when I met my husband at 39. It definately scares me a bit but I don’t want to be 70 and never experience it. If I can’t have them well then we will either consider adoption or remain without them.
Post # 23
BostonStacy: We’re starting to TTC now, we’re ready.
For us, there were certain things we wanted before kids: House, marriage, some renos done, job stability and time for ourselves.
Now we’re at that stage. We’ve been in our house for over a year and I started my career this year, Darling Husband started in a new area of his career this year (better paid and more stable, woohoo!).
We’ve discussed everything around having a family and what we want out of it and are completely on the same page, financially we have worked out budgets and mat leave/how it will work.
Darling Husband and I have a summer trip planned, another adventure to add on to all of the places we’ve already been and July will mark 6 months married so even if we got pregnant tomorrow we would reach our goal of being married for at least a year before baby to enjoy time together.
It’s a very personal choice for you and your Darling Husband, but those are the circumstances that lead to us being ready. Good luck 🙂
Post # 24
My parents had their kids fairly young (29) and the last of my siblings JUST moved out a year ago…they were 59. So there’s so guaranteed time that you’ll have them out of the house. You’re a parent for the rest of your life.
If you’re feeling ambivalent about it, I would wait. Although for what it’s worth, I don’t think anyone else ever TRULY ready for kids. You can, and should, be financially and emotionally stable, but I don’t think you can truly prepare completely for the experience. Darling Husband and I looked at our lives and our marriage and decided we wanted to grow our family and just take life as it comes.
Post # 25
It’s interesting how one becomes “ready” for TTC and children. As of late, I have thought a lot about this and have been open about it. Up until about 6 months ago, I was completely ok with waiting 5-7 years. Now, something just feels different.
Emotionally, Darling Husband and I feel ready to start TTC tomorrow. But we know logically it doesn’t make sense. We have financial, travel and life goals that we want to accomplish before we bring a child into the world. Therefore, we have agreed to wait 1.5-2 more years. It’s not that far away, but some days it feels like an eternity.
I am a huge planner so I am focused on our financial goals and career accomplishments. Darling Husband is much more of a go with the flow kind of person. He is a teacher and is around kids all day. Though it is exhausting, he is amazing with children and nearing 30, he feels ready to take the leap. I was hesitant at first, but feel more and more ready each day.
Just typing this, I feel giddy just thinking we are getting closer to the next big adventure of our building our lives together. 🙂