(Closed) Ready or Not

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think what you’re feeling is normal. It’s a huge life change! I got over it by getting pregnant, albeit accidentally. Personally I never would have been able to say ok I’m ready let’s try this month. I stopped BC in anticipation of TTC in the fall. We used POM and the one time Darling Husband didn’t pull out in June I  got pregnant. It was the best way for it to happen to me. I was actually nervous to POAS because I felt i would be sad if it was negative. That’s when I knew I was more ready than I thought. I still freaked out all through pregnancy and even after baby arrived. She’s 7 weeks now and I could not imagine life without her. As someone that didn’t feel maternal st all and could have probably been fine never having kids, I love being a mom More than I ever thought I would! I’m ready for number 2 already! I think it’s always going to be a leap of faith and if you put it off until those feelings stop you would never do it.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  .
Post # 3
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I can totally relate! I wasn’t too sure about kids and am still not thrilled at the prospect of pregnancy and delivery. But I’m refusing to grow up and take out my tongue stud! I’m actually a pretty boring and respectable lady who’s 31 and works as a medical professional at a large children’s hospital, but I love my tongue stud. Although a belly button piercing is a little different since the belly stretches so much with pregnancy. Honestly, if you don’t want to give it up, don’t! But don’t give into the cold feet. Big changes are always hard, but that just means they’re important.

Post # 4
402 posts
Helper bee

MapleCreekBride:  I relate so much to what you’re saying. Darling Husband and I aren’t quite where you are in terms of TTC. I am recovering from some health issues and I need to wait until I get the all-clear from my doctor before it’s safe for me to become pregnant. If everything goes well, that should be sometime in the next 3-4 months. Darling Husband just got a great job, so we’re facing fewer and fewer reasons to put off TTC, haha.

I have the same fears you do, and it’s mostly about my youth. I’m 28 and Darling Husband is almost 26, and part of me feels like becoming a mother will mean that I cross the boundary to “old”, even thought I know, deep down, that’s not true. There are so many mothers out there (some with 2 or more kids already) who look amazing, are stylish, and seem to be in touch with social media and pop culture. A lot of them have blogs, and when I feel particularly nervous about becoming a mom myself, I look at their blogs and it comforts me. Life doesn’t end when you have kids. It’s different, and most people I talk to tell me it’s more than worth it.

Long story short, I think your feelings are 100% normal, and they are a GOOD sign, because it means you’re thinking and not entering this phase mindlessly!

Post # 5
8604 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ugh I feel you on that one. I almost wish we’d just have an “oops” pregnancy so I wouldn’t have to think about it so much. We’re mostly homebodies, have 3 of our 4 parents nearby, decent savings, etc., but I still debate it over and over. What if my belly is hideous afterwards? Or the dreaded vaganus? What if our baby is horribly fussy and doesn’t sleep? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Post # 7
402 posts
Helper bee

MapleCreekBride:  Also, if it helps, I’ve decided to get a tattoo, and I don’t care if it’s considered inappropriate or immature. It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time, and it will have deep meaning for me. I see moms all the time with “young” things like tattoos and belly button rings. I’m curious – would you need to part with your belly button ring permanently?

Post # 9
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013


MapleCreekBride:  I feel the exact same way as you do but we havn’t even begun to think about when we will TTC. I know I’m not getting any younger so it will have to happen within the next few years (I’m 31) but I dont even know if I want a kid yet at all! Uggh! So much to think about. If I did get pregnent though I’m keeping my belly button in! That thing has become a part of me I have had it so long so I’m keeping that shit in until I’m 80!

Post # 11
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’re on prenatal vitamins but you’re not pregnant yet? Is that a normal practice?

Also, I know how you feel. Back when I was single, I had baby fever so bad. Now that I’m married, baby fever is gone! Like, I’m happy with how life is going and don’t want things to change drastically yet.

Post # 12
402 posts
Helper bee

MapleCreekBride:  Ah, I understand. It’s more symbolic than anything else. I asked because I wasn’t sure if you felt like you “couldn’t” be a mom with a belly button ring, for physical and social reasons. I did something similar a while ago. After I got married, I stopped wearing more than one pair of earrings at a time (I have 2 holes in each ear), and it was simply because I wanted to leave it behind.

You are absolutely not coming across as shallow or selfish, don’t worry! And yes, I have no doubt that you will still be lots of fun (maybe even more fun!) after you become a mom. 🙂

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  LadyJDAG.
Post # 15
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

MapleCreekBride:  I’m 26 and feel the exact same way. I’m most likely not having children because I’m too worried about it taking my freedom away. It’s selfish, but I just don’t want to let it go.

The topic ‘Ready or Not’ is closed to new replies.

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