(Closed) Ready to call off this engagement and move out due to infedility

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
819 posts
Busy bee

My advice is to leave him, take care of yourself, and find someone better. In that order.

Post # 3
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I could *maybe* forgive one mistake (like one one-night stand). But what your Fiance did? Nope, I would have left month ago. There are plenty of men out there who wouldn’t cheat on you. 

Post # 4
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

concordbee :  +1. Get your own place asap. You deserve someone much better!

Post # 5
Member
2676 posts
Sugar bee

You aren’t that desperate to get married, are you?

You should be with someone who values, loves and respects you. Not this dirtbag horndog.

Post # 6
Member
3741 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

If you need a break, you just have to tell him that you need a break! It doesnt sound like you actaully forgave him, but it sounds like you tried to move past it which is all anyone can ask. Can you actaully forgive him? Do you think you can ever get to the point where you’ll be able to trust him and believe him? If you dont think so, you’re allowed to say so. If you need space and time, you need to take it. You dont have to coddle his feelings, he didnt coddle you when he was cheating on you… do whats best for you, and if being with this man is whats best for you, then do that. but if its not… do that! Think about yourself first here… you’re whats most important in this moment.

Post # 7
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Why in the world wouldn’t you?

Post # 8
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Oh dear… you dont HAVE to forgive him…

Leave him and be happy, you’re better off without someone who cheats on you and with MULTIPLE women.

Post # 9
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

For me, the careful maintenance of several affairs including with women at work – at whatever stage of relationship, or level of commitment, or inconveniently entwined lives, or apologies, or excuses, he would have been dead to me. Straight away.

Post # 10
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee

missy2 :  

I am sorry…some relationships I just don’t think are worth fixing…this is one of them…he didn’t have a moment of bad judgement, he has bad character…unfortunately, that will never change…he may temporarily sideline his cheating, but once he settles back into the relationship and regains your confidence, he will revert back to his old ways…it may not be for a few years, but it will happen…

 

Post # 11
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Lady- with love and kindness. Trust is key in a relationship. He broke that with you several times over and both of you expect you to forgive him? Nope. He is not worth your time. 

Get your own place and don’t feel guilty!

Post # 12
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I agree with all pp, end it.

cheating is one of thing I will never and have never forgiven. No matter how it happened or how many times. No excuse in my book.

you deserve soooo much more

Post # 13
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Bell Tower on 34th

missy2 :  it sounds like you need to focus on yourself and find your own place.  It’s so sad to be cheated on because he messed around and you are the one that suffers…  It’s so hard to leave someone you love, a lot of us bees have been there.  It’s hard but you will never regret protecting yourself first!!  You deserve so much better!!  

Hugs coming your way!

Post # 14
Member
511 posts
Busy bee

You should just leave him; I don’t feel that the trust can every fully be rebuilt. I think affairs are only ok if both people want an open relationship at some point. 

Post # 15
Member
4830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

missy2 :  Check out http://www.survivinginfidelity.com  and especially the emotional 180 described here.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11

It’s a great method of rebuilding your self esteem after infidelity.    

Get your own place, work on yourself and healing the hurt, then see if you want him in your life.  I think you deserve far better than a man who chose to hurt and disrespect you.

 

 

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