(Closed) Ready to cancel the wedding – part 2

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should we cancel the wedding based on what you read?
    Yes, we should cancel based on what's going on with his family. : (2 votes)
    13 %
    No, we should not cancel and continue as planned. : (14 votes)
    88 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    604 posts
    Busy bee

    This is bad and I am Latina so I guess I can speak well at least for my family and thats how some Latino families are. They talk lots of garbage ( I am speaking for my family so don’t be offended)….and at the end of the day they get over it. Maybe they don’t like that their son is marrying an American terrible to say and think especially in this day and age, but o well get married and be happy. A slong as your Fiance is with you and is supporting you infront of his family then you shouldn’t be listening to what anyone has to say including me these are just my two cents. Don’t cancel the wedding if you and your Fiance love each other.

    Post # 4
    Member
    624 posts
    Busy bee

    We were completely unaware of this, as we had asked for help from his side of the family and this was never told to us.

    We had to deal with similar things and you know what, you asked them for their input and they passed.  It’s their own darn fault and their loss.  They can’t really complain now and they sure don’t have ground to stand on about this. 

    His family members are very controlling and he doesn’t want to speak up, because he is afraid of conflict and doesn’t want to be put in the middle of his family and his future wife…My Dad is worried about how my future husband will protect me from his family…but he can’t do that or he’ll be disowned by his family.

    My future husband not being able to put me first would be the big issue here.  One way or another he is going to have to make a choice and if he doesn’t choose you, then yes you need to cancel the wedding and not get married at all until he can stand up for you and him.  Sorry but if my Darling Husband refuses to do something about their behavior because of the fear of being disowned, we have a problem.  His family has control over him and until he can let the guilt go about not making them mad by standing up for his family (yes, you and him), he isn’t ready to get married. 

    If you do decide to go through with this marriage, I say screw his family.  Do what you and Fiance want.  Period.  You’ve asked for input, aren’t getting any and then they complain.  This is your day, not theirs.  They have been totally uncooperative and even if you did EVERYTHING their way, they would still be complaining.  So give them something to complain about and do what you want!

    Post # 5
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee

    He needs to defend you. You will be his NEW family after the wedding. My biggest issue with my bf is that he doesn’t defend me. We have almost broke up several times becasue of it and it is one of the biggest things holding us back. If he wont defent you now then he most likely wont defent you in 10 years or 20 years or 50 years.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

    I’m with others that say that your FH has GOT to stand up for himself and for YOU! I think you should have your wedding, you both deserve a happy day for the two of you…But he needs to tell his family to stop this behavior immediately and if they are upset about it, their loss…But seriously, it is his responsibility to support you, his future wife, and that is more important that hurting family members who have already hurt you both…Tell him to man up and make it clear that this behavior is not acceptable!

    Post # 7
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think it’s good it happened before the wedding. This is a very important issue for your fiancé and you to work out. If he won’t stand up to you now, you will have years of misery. He must grow some balls and tell his family to cut it out. Calmly explain that if they have traditions that are so important to them, they should have requested you include them in the invitation earlier. Now that ship has sailed and they should get over it. (Besides, if anything they should be mad at their son for failing to mention it, not you, who is not even aware of their traditions.)

    The main thing is that it’s your guy that has to do the talking and present a unified front with you. The way you handle this will set the tone for the rest of your marriage. Don’t let them bully you and if your fiancé won’t put you first I would agree with your family and call off the wedding.

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