(Closed) Ready to end my relationship but I don't think I'm strong enough to :(

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
3075 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

The meeting another guy is the least of your problems, & I’m pretty sure if your parents knew this they’d make some room until you get on your feet. I know you will probably not listen but you need to leave sooner than later. You already wasted 4 years on this mysoginistic ass , don’t waste more time with him because you feel stuck,  I wish you the best. 🙁

Post # 47
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Girlfriend, this is NOT how a relationship is supposed to be. This man obviously takes you for granted as has zero respect for you. He is a loser. You deserve so much better than this. And you’re only 25 years old for pete’s sake, OF COURSE you will find someone better than this abusive drug addicted asshole.

25 is the perfect age to break away and find yourself and find true love. But if you stay with this jerk for another 10 years, and break up at 35, you will look back and wish youd left him way sooner. But the situation you’re in right now is bad regardless, and you need to get out. This is not what love is.

Post # 48
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

raspberryswirl:  +1 to everyone else. Please leave him NOW.  As for your stuff – just stack it at your parents’ place and work that out later.

Please move out, stay safe, and update us. ((Hugs))

Post # 49
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

First of all let me say I have been where your are and the best thing I did was leave. my situation was worse I was pushed, pulled, slapped, dragged round by my hair, he even kicked me in the stomach when I was pregnant with my daughter!!

I never thought I could leave, but I did. I packed up my things, took my daughter and left!! That was nearly 5 years ago!

I am now with an amazing man who took on my daughter as his own, (due to legal reasons my daughter doesn’t see her Dad because of what he did,) I have had another 2 children and I couldn’t be happier!

I know it’s hard but think of the long term, are you happy to be a victim? Or would you prefer to be happy? Put yourself first! Get out now! It will be worth it!

Good luck hon!

Post # 50
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

interchangeable:  +1000!

raspberryswirl:  I will be very honest and say I am fearful for you. From your the way you speak, you dont sound as though you are really ready to walk away. You have stated yourself that he has hit you in the past and he always threatens you saying “Dont get smacked”, please dont take these things lightly. IT WILL GET VIOLENT AGAIN, it is only a matter of time! You need to recognize that this is not a healthy relationship, that is not love, and stop making excuses to stay longer in the situation. Canceling a cell phone contract is something you dont have to live there to organize! You could even just go and ask them to cut off his phone and change your number instead of ending the contract outright. You have several options of places to stay, your parents and grandparents, but yet you havent left yet. That seems very troubling to me, as he has gotten physical with you in the past and you have stayed, and I fear you may fall back into that routine of “forgetting about it” once he apologizes.

You need to get out of this situation as it is only going to continue and get worse. You dont deserve to be treated this way and you need to realize that it will get better once you leave. You are 25, you have a full life ahead of you and plenty of time to meet someone who will love you and treat you the way you deserve to be. 

Speaking from personal experience, someone has to admit they have a problem, want help and want to change for anything to change. If they dont, it will just get worst. You cant help him change or get him to change, he has to want to do it and get better for himself. If not, you will become his punching bag at some point. Dont let that happen! You are strong enough to leave him!

Post # 51
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Run, don’t walk to your parents or grandparents house. He has hit you (at least) twice now (that you’ve told us about). You can come back later for the rest of your stuff. Bring your dad, your brother and any large intimidating male friends you have to help you move if there’s furniture/boxes. It will go faster and it will show that you mean business. Dealing with the phone contract and any other shared bills can wait. Storage units are everywhere. These are very minor road blocks To gaining your freedom back. 

I can’t say that I’ve been in an abusive situation but I did leave someone with alcohol, drug and depression problems after 4 years when I was 29. I was also scared that I wasn’t going to meet anyone again. But I knew deep in my heart that even though 4 years was a long time to invest in a relationship that it was a drop in the bucket considering that I will likely live at least another 4 decades. And I knew that I could not live that way for the rest of my life, nor could I bring children into that situation. 

You just need the courage to walk out the door without looking back. The rest of your life is ahead of you!

Post # 52
Member
280 posts
Helper bee

raspberryswirl:  They are your parents. They always have room for you. Even if it means sleeping on the couch for a while and living out of a suitcase. Move. Break up with him and move in with your parents. I can’t think of any parent that wouldn’t let their daughter sleep on the couch for a bit, even if it is a little cramped, if it means getting her out of domestic violelce.

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