(Closed) Ready to get backlash, but, if you don’t like the ring, don’t say yes…

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 47
Member
6033 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

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@Elvis: this!!!! I agree. If in the moment the man proposing to me is overshadowed by the ring I would question the possibility of marriage with that person anyway.

My ex proposed and it was all wrong. we had talked about what kind of proposals I did NOT want and what did he do? exactly that because he thought even though i said i didnt want a big spotlight with family staring and everything that it would be best anyway. red flag number one. then the actual ring he got me was the complete opposite of what i wanted and more of what he wanted. those things were all i could concentrate on. i said yes and then we broke up some months later. the point is, I should have realized that witht he right person none of those surrounding details would have mattered. All that would have mattered was that I was being asked to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams. So while I agree with the OP it is not for the same reasons.

Post # 48
Member
5653 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Nah, that’s silly. Saying “yes” to a proposal is committing to sharing your life with the proposer. You’re not committing to wearing a metal band on your finger. That completely misses the point.

I think it would be much worse to say no simply because of the ring. If you are paying more attention to the ring at that moment, you need to set your priorities straight. A proposal is ultimately about embracing a person, not a piece of jewelry.

Post # 49
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@Eva Peron: I was JUST thinking of a girl who I used to work with from the Ukraine. She didn’t get an engagement ring at all, and her wedding ring is a simple (but beautiful!) wedding band. I suppose she should have said no. LOL.

As has been said before, you’re marrying the man, not the ring.

Post # 50
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am not sure of the intention of the OP’s original post.  Was it saying that once you say Yes that is your ring forever, or the ring is the thing you are saying yes too?  Either way, agree with all the PP’s, you aren’t marrying a piece of jewelry.  Honestly during my proposal I glanced at the ring for a split second, the rest of the time I was looking at Fiance.  I am lucky, and love my ring…Fiance knows me very well, and went totally off of my style.  I would never want anything else, but I feel like I would feel that way no matter what it looked like.  It is the ring that he took the time, on his own, without any help, to choose for me, to ask me to spend the rest of his life with him.  That emotion, love, and thought matter the most. 

Is it wrong to upgrade a ring down the road if you can afford something nicer on your 5th or 10th anniversary?  Not at all.  But basing your answer off the jewelry means there is something a bit off in that relationship, In My Humble Opinion.

Post # 51
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

So any stranger off the street who proposes to me with a 5 ct. emerald cut stunner gets a big fat YES!!!!!

Post # 52
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@MrsBrightSkies: It almost feels like a dowry sort of situation. Make sure the gift is good enough to buy the rest of my life… not sure I like that.

Post # 53
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@soyjoy222: Agree! It is symbolic, and more about saying yes to a life with him. Funny thing is, when we began talking about marriage/engagement ring, my BF thought the way its supposed to be done was with a fake “placeholder” ring. He was completely baffled that people propose with a real ring. LOL. He said, well I just get a costume ring from “fill in a chain store IE walmart” and propose, and then we go buy a real one later… LOL. Which I guess is just another way of saying The Ring isn’t the important part, the relationship is. Smile

Post # 54
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@moderndaisy: HAHAHA… Isn’t that what you’ve always dreamed of?

Post # 55
Member
4822 posts
Honey bee

I have no issues with my aunt who “upgraded” on her 25th anniversary from her small, but nice ring to a large diamond. They now have the money for it, they have proved their marriage and if anything its a symbol of their success both emotionally and financially.

Post # 56
Member
5842 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

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@moderndaisy: lmao I would probably seriously consider saying yes to a stranger offering me this 

Post # 57
Member
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Nope. My love for my Fiance is greater than my love for anything material. I would marry him with a twist tie.

What is a girl supposed to say? Instead of “YES” you’d say, “okay let’s exchange the ring and then you can propose again??”

Post # 58
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@PinkMagnolia: Yeah, and we saw from another post how well suggesting another proposal works…

Post # 59
Member
6511 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah, I have to agree with pretty much all of the PPs – the premise of this thread is absolutely ridiculous.

Post # 60
Member
597 posts
Busy bee

When I got the proposal I looked at the ring for about .05 seconds – long enough to confirm YES IT’S REAL HE IS REALLY PROPOSING! I said yes because I love him and want to marry him. I didn’t even look at the ring up close until after I’d “sealed the deal”, lol. So I think I have the right to decide after the fact whether I like it or not. 😛

Post # 61
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Is it thread hijacking to ask if anyone else noticed how excited Kim Kardashian got AFTER she saw the ring… she seemed kind of “oh, this is nice… la dee da” and then she sees the ring and lights up… hmmmm. 

But… I think maybe the OP is saying that if you say yes to the marriage, don’t complain about the ring?  Maybe she has good intentions with her post but left it too open for interpretation?

The topic ‘Ready to get backlash, but, if you don’t like the ring, don’t say yes…’ is closed to new replies.

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