Ready to Propose…need some advice!!

posted 3 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
511 posts
Busy bee

Awwwww! 

My only advice is location dependent: Watch out for goose poop/mountain lions. 

Post # 3
Member
215 posts
Helper bee

I think your plan sounds great! I would have loved a proposal on a hike, followed by wine and dinner. I guess the only thing I’d say to think about is whether there are likely to be other people around on the trail, or at the particular spot you pick out, and if you think your girl would want privacy or not. Maybe have a couple of spots in mind, just in case?

Sorry, I don’t know anything about buying jewelry so I can’t comment on the part about the wholesaler vs. regular jeweler.

Post # 4
Member
1889 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Sounds good to me!

But one suggestion is to make sure she can shower or get dolled up after the hike but before wine and dinner. So you get some pretty pictures in addition to the flushed midhike ones. (Which will also be great). 

And maybe keep the dinner plans quiet unless you want her to guess. 

Post # 5
Member
244 posts
Helper bee

Congrats in advance!

It sounds like you should be on the same page about your timeline seeing as you’ve looked at rings. My only thing (besides the suggests PPs made) is that you make sure that “asking her parents” is something she for sure wants you to do ahead of time, as I know I’d personally hate that, and it can be a polarizing practice.

Post # 6
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

peterso2 :  Sounds perfect. Just please don’t take to much time from the time you pick out the to the time you propose. Women go nuts waiting. Especially if they have a feeling that it will happen. Trust me this board is full of the waiting game. It it very stressful for some women and they get resentful with each passing “special” weekend or holiday and it doesn’t happen. Best of luck.

Post # 7
Member
4065 posts
Honey bee

Oy. Wholesalers do NOT sell to the public. This is just some outfit trying to make you think you’re getting a deal. Please believe me. Such crap, but there’s a sucker born every minute. Don’t be one.

Go online, which is where the best pricing is. Blue Nile is good, Whiteflash is better but more expensive. Figure out your budget first, how much you’re comfortable spending. When you get the ring for the love of God, propose right away so that if she doesn’t like it you can return it. Dont overthink it. In the scheme of things the proposal is just not that important, although YouTube and social media may say otherwise. As someone who has been married over 30 years, there are more important things to concern yourself with 

Post # 8
Member
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I’d suggest an independent jeweler if you want to see the ring beforehand. They’ll offer you wholesale prices. I went to a diamond district, and there were jewelers (the people who actually make the physical ring, not sure what they’re called) that were willing to customize and sell a ring directly. Since you’re ring shopping together anyway, I recommend you get one she has actually tried on and wants. Pictures can be very misleading.

Your proposal idea sounds lovely. But yes, watch out for critter poop and check the weather forecast!

Post # 9
Member
854 posts
Busy bee

Follow the bees advice and don’t go with this alleged wholesaler. If you’re looking for reduced pricing, go with an online company that sells lab diamonds! Brilliant Earth, Clean Origin- there are others. 

Post # 10
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

Oy. Wholesalers do NOT sell to the public. This is just some outfit trying to make you think you’re getting a deal. Please believe me. Such crap, but there’s a sucker born every minute. Don’t be one.

THIS!! haha omg, a wholesaler literally means business to business sales, they use this as a term to think you are getting better prices. One that specifically comes to mind is Happy Jewelers.. They are “wholesale” yet their prices are basically the same as bluenile, but their diamonds for the most part are not GIA graded. Please don’t fall into that wholesaler trap.

 

I agree with PP about going online, but please make sure your girlfriend would be fine with a Lab Diamond before you purchase one.

Post # 11
Member
2420 posts
Buzzing bee

Are you 100% positive she wants you to ask her parents, particularly since she’s been married before?

And… ditto to the advice everyone else has given about the “wholesaler”.

Post # 12
Member
8327 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Yea,  don’t  do this asking the parents thing unless she expressly asked for it. It’s an iffy thing  to do anyway and downright  weird   when she’s already  been married and is presumably quite grown up!

As for the rest, make sure exactly what sort of stone she wants  and what cut.  

Mostly , don’t mess about  doing special surprises at  the expense of making her wait and feel powerless and anxious.  

Post # 13
Hostess
8561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

peterso2 :  That honestly sounds perfect. Well planned and thoughtful without being totally over the top. Good luck! 

Post # 14
Member
2706 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

I agree with the not asking her parents thing.  You could call them and let them know you’re planning to propose and wanted to let them know, but I honestly wouldn’t ask permission.  My now-husband did pretty much this and it was fine with me, but I would have been seriously annoyed if he’d asked permission, given that I was living in another country entirely to them and had been independent for many years.

Your proposal idea sounds great!

Post # 15
Member
1889 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

KiwiDerbyBride :  yeah, but it’s a know your culture and bride thing. She may expect it and want it. Regardless, I’d go for a blessing instead of permission. Permission implies that he has control but blessing implies more that his opinion matters. 

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