(Closed) Ready to uninvite my mother!!!!! Impossible MOBzilla

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ve never been a ‘blood is thicker than water so the behavior is excuseable’ type of person. I have higher expections of my friends & family and don’t think that just because you’re related poor behavior is okay. If its a temporary issue that just arose thats one thing, if you don’t ever get along and you really don’t want her in your life thats another. If you are okay with her never forgiving you then don’t invite her. If you aren’t though, then I think you have to. My wedding has caused my mom to lose her mind a few times and at those moments I would have almost said she was certifiably insane, haha. But for me they are just moments here and there and outside of everything we have a good relationship. However, if we never got along to the point that I didn’t like her, then I would not invite her to my wedding.

My father is in my life, but overall has been a crap dad. He is not invited to my wedding. I am much closer to my stepfather so he will be in attendance and giving me away. Alternatively I had a major issue with one of my stepsisters and I am not inviting her. I posted on this and many (most) bees thought I was being unreasonable. I got the, “shes family, you have to.” No, I’m sorry, but I don’t. Don’t let people give you, “its your mom, you have to” or “She’s family, you have to” crap. Its hard for people that haven’t had similar issues to relate to something like this and its awfully easy to say, “just get over it” when you’re standing on the outside. Like I said – if you are okay with her not being in your life and never forgiving you then I wouldn’t invite her.

Post # 4
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Ronaldlolabride:  I’m really confused by the dances…are you having special dances outside of the bride/groom, bride/FOB, and groom/MOG dances? From the looks of your list your guests are going to be sitting there for a long time watching a bunch of people dance. Or are you saying that during the dance you’ll have all these people together? I’m sorry your mom’s being a pain, I’m just having trouble understanding the current issue.

Post # 5
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Wonderstruck:  +1, why is everyone and their brother dancing with each other?

Either way your mom sounds like kind of a nut, try to brush her craziness off!

Post # 6
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MsJ2theZ:  +1 

I agree this list of planned dances seems really long.

Post # 7
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You need one dance. You and your new husband. Everything else is muddying the waters and completely unnecessary.

Post # 9
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

OP is having two dances only

I’d either ignore your mom and stop including her or uninvite her. She doesn’t need to be this included in your wedding planning.

Post # 10
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Ronaldlolabride:  

 

Hello Wedding Twin!!

 

I’m also a ‘your family are people who deserve it, not those who are related to you’ kind of person. My parents uninvited themselves from my wedding after several months of tantrums, squabbling and eventually nasty, personal comments. I’m actually happier that it turned out that way in the end!

 

At this point I guess maybe you need to draw a line. Work out what would be an ‘uninviting offence’ and what would be a step too far for you – this is about you, it’s your wedding and she does *not* get to live vicariously through you (something I wish I’d said to my mother). Don’t be afraid to put your foot down and tell her to suck it up, because she’s testing your limits and maybe it’s time to let her know exactly what those are! Just keep calm when you do it, let her know politely that is unacceptable but you will not be drawn into a fight. Harder than it sounds, I know…

 

All the best with the final week of preparation – and don’t let her ruin your excitement xx

 

Post # 12
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Confused why you have people scheduled to dance with each other? You only need one dance you and your groom, let everyone else dance with who they want! 

Well I can see maybe doing a father daughter dance too, but seriously, never heard of scheduling people to dance with other people. 

Post # 15
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Ronaldlolabride:  Must be more local than that – never seen anything beyond just bride and groom dance. (London/home counties area)

Post # 16
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Ok I got that there are 2 Dances, and various people dancing during each one.

BUT like the other Bees, I have to wonder WHY you’d want all this stuff going on (except I see that it may be a local / family custom / tradition)

Still tho if it is causing problems… I’d just nix the whole thing

Bride & Groom Dance easy peasy done !!

Hope this helps,

 

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