(Closed) Real Life BRIDE WARS ?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
387 posts
Helper bee

@SBrosnan: Date twin!  Well tentatively ๐Ÿ™‚

Ugh I just don’t understand why we can’t all be happy for each other?!  My BFF is probably going to get married a month before me and get engaged after me (we will both be MOH’s in each other’s weddings).  Do I care? NO!  Does she care? NO!  It’s going to be so much fun planning together (she does invitations, so we’re going to have a blast!), and our weddings are going to be totally different and just as much fun, that I can’t fathom the problem.  The only thing I can foresee is difficulties planning showers/bachelorette party, as my wedding will be a month later and we won’t want it to conflict.  I mean, we could do joint stuff, but we don’t have all the same friends, so that may be difficult, but it could be way fun!

Just keep being sweet and supportive!  People will know and recognize she’s being a bad friend, and you’ll be in the right ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I had something similar happen to me.. my friend got engaged about 2 weeks before me, and set a date right away. She had right at a year long engagement, whereas I chose to take a year and a half so I didn’t have to rush myself, and could pace things etc. Slowly but surely, she started ignoring my wedding and only could concentrate on her own. At one point she even went as far as to say “well, my wedding is first, I can’t help you do anything for yours until mine is over, and I can’t believe you would even bother to work on yours until then” … uhm? the final straw for me was when she told me she wasn’t even 100% sure she would be able/want to be in my wedding after hers because she would be “so over wedding preperations and might be big and pregnant” I backed out of her wedding and still offered my help to her when she needed it, and told her she didn’t ahve to be a part of mine.. and she stopped speaking to me. we re-connected about a month before her wedding and have slowly been working on being friends. but things are totally different. Now, my Maid/Matron of Honor just got engaged last week and I couldnt be more excited for her. I have no doubt in my mind we can work together to plan both weddings [hers will be right after mine in April due to military things] and not take anything away from one another. my suggestion to you is just to sit down with her and  talk to her and tell her how you’re feeling. if shes really your friend, she’ll listen and work with you to fix it.

Post # 5
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am kind of going through the same thing. Its a terrible feeling! Its nice that you’re being conscious of her feelings too, but sounds like she’s not doing the same in return. My friend put a damper on my engagement, and then got engaged a few months later. She’s even gone as far as to say that I’ve stolen her wedding ideas…odd!? lol But it seems like you are definitely doing the right thing, if she wants to be that way then let her. It only makes you look better! I personally feel that if she looked at it from a different perspective, she would see that you and her could be planning your weddings together, and share your excitement with each other! My friendship was ruined because of this…and it hurts to see someone you care for so much be a brat about something so important! Good luck, and don’t let her ruin anything!

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