Post # 1
So….my best friend and MOH who I love dearly is getting married in May. Its all very exciting and I have gone out of my way to express how happy I am for her from the day she got engaged. Im currently planning her shower for April. 🙂
I got engaged in October! Also VERY exciting 🙂 Im not feeling the love so much on her end though. She was actually the last person I was able to tell because she didn’t call me back for a day or two. My fiance also told her he was proposing so she knew the exciting news when I called. I hear it in her voice whenever she talks about it or when we’re in a group of people and people ask me and not her. Its kind of annoying to be honest. She will have her day and I wll have mine a year apart from each other.
I make a conscious effort not to talk much about my wedding experiences because she is a little sensitive and I don’t want to steal her glory. I even went so far as to tell my fiance to be sure not to propose before her fiance did so that she wouldnt be upset.
I feel like she should act somewhat excited and Im not sure she would be so gracious as to repress her excitement about her wedding for me if the roles were reversed.
I invited her dress shopping and she didnt’ respond. I assumed she didnt’ get the message but then a day or two later she asked me (very unenthusiastically) how it went.
I know its silly and part of me says to let her be a little bratty until she gets married in May and then I can have her full excitement, but another part of me say screw that! She was able to have her closest friend excited for her right away and I want mine to be as well.
Any tips on how to tread lightly without selling myself short?
Post # 3
@SBrosnan: Date twin! Well tentatively 🙂
Ugh I just don’t understand why we can’t all be happy for each other?! My BFF is probably going to get married a month before me and get engaged after me (we will both be MOH’s in each other’s weddings). Do I care? NO! Does she care? NO! It’s going to be so much fun planning together (she does invitations, so we’re going to have a blast!), and our weddings are going to be totally different and just as much fun, that I can’t fathom the problem. The only thing I can foresee is difficulties planning showers/bachelorette party, as my wedding will be a month later and we won’t want it to conflict. I mean, we could do joint stuff, but we don’t have all the same friends, so that may be difficult, but it could be way fun!
Just keep being sweet and supportive! People will know and recognize she’s being a bad friend, and you’ll be in the right 🙂
Post # 4
I had something similar happen to me.. my friend got engaged about 2 weeks before me, and set a date right away. She had right at a year long engagement, whereas I chose to take a year and a half so I didn’t have to rush myself, and could pace things etc. Slowly but surely, she started ignoring my wedding and only could concentrate on her own. At one point she even went as far as to say “well, my wedding is first, I can’t help you do anything for yours until mine is over, and I can’t believe you would even bother to work on yours until then” … uhm? the final straw for me was when she told me she wasn’t even 100% sure she would be able/want to be in my wedding after hers because she would be “so over wedding preperations and might be big and pregnant” I backed out of her wedding and still offered my help to her when she needed it, and told her she didn’t ahve to be a part of mine.. and she stopped speaking to me. we re-connected about a month before her wedding and have slowly been working on being friends. but things are totally different. Now, my Maid/Matron of Honor just got engaged last week and I couldnt be more excited for her. I have no doubt in my mind we can work together to plan both weddings [hers will be right after mine in April due to military things] and not take anything away from one another. my suggestion to you is just to sit down with her and talk to her and tell her how you’re feeling. if shes really your friend, she’ll listen and work with you to fix it.
Post # 5
I am kind of going through the same thing. Its a terrible feeling! Its nice that you’re being conscious of her feelings too, but sounds like she’s not doing the same in return. My friend put a damper on my engagement, and then got engaged a few months later. She’s even gone as far as to say that I’ve stolen her wedding ideas…odd!? lol But it seems like you are definitely doing the right thing, if she wants to be that way then let her. It only makes you look better! I personally feel that if she looked at it from a different perspective, she would see that you and her could be planning your weddings together, and share your excitement with each other! My friendship was ruined because of this…and it hurts to see someone you care for so much be a brat about something so important! Good luck, and don’t let her ruin anything!