(Closed) Real talk – Do you or your SO feel that the other doesn’t communicate w/ you?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What type of communicator is your SO (definitions are in the thread)?
    The silent type : (13 votes)
    21 %
    The private type : (22 votes)
    36 %
    The opinionated type : (12 votes)
    20 %
    Other : (14 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We’re both the ‘private’ kind, so we rarely get into difficulty! We’re very lucky.

    Post # 5
    Member
    9687 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I voted Other:  My FI is what I consider to be a healthy communicator.  He’s open and very good about expressing his emotions.  He’s an even better communicator with me than I with him.  It’s one of the things I love the most about him.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5199 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I voted other.

    My husband is a very healthy communicator. He is very open and honest about his emotions and feelings to me as well as to others, but completely respectful and compassionate of those around him and his audience. He is incredibly authentic and genuine, as well as emotionally self-aware, and I honestly would not have married him (or stayed with him) if he wasn’t. It is one of the things I love the most about him, even if sometimes it seems he is almost constantly wanting to talk!

    I have dated the silent type, the private type, and the opinionated type and there is a reason that I stopped dating them, to be honest! I really, really place a high value on being completely open in my relationships, and that authenticity that my husband and I have with each other is something I could never, ever trade in.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2183 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    I’m the one with the communication issues in our marriage.

    He’s fairly open with his feeling and will tell me exactly what he’s thinking/concerned about/etc. I, on the other hand, have really difficult time forming my thoughts into coherent sentences sometimes.

    I will say, though, any communication “issues” we have stem from thinking the other automatically understands– because we so often do. Those few times when we totally aren’t seeing eye to eye shock us both, and we work backwards to figure out how to come together again.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5199 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    @30somethingbee:  Hm, I tend not to like the idea of a prince charming. Too many connotations of “rescuing knights” and “damsels in distress” for my taste when that is not our dynamic at all!

    What I have is an amazing life partner, and yes, I do feel very blessed.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2759 posts
    Sugar bee

    Ah, shoot… I voted before reading >.<  I accidentally voted “silent” but he’s actually “private”. It’s really hard to get anything out of him… I, on the other hand, am the opinionated type (which means I am often overbearing and drown out any of his potential opinions – something I am working on!)

    I grew up surrounded by other opinionated types, so it’s difficult living with someone who isn’t going to shove his thoughts right back at mine lol.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9687 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @30somethingbee:  He’s been like this since I met him.  He’s a wonderful human being; he treats people (all people) with kindness and respect, and he’s very loving towards me.  He goes out of his way to make sure I’m happy – it’s just his way of being.  He does have a little bit of shyness/quietness sometimes with other people, but with me he’s open and talkative.  In fact, if I’m upset about something, but beating around the bush, he’ll eventually say, “Honey, what is the real issue here?”  I love that!  He makes me feel very safe and comfortable saying anything that’s on my mind.  Communication is very important to me, and our relationship works well for us in that way.  My ex was the “My Way or The Highway” kind of guy and also would sometimes give me the silent treatment for days on end.  I hated it, and I’m so much happier now being with someone whose style of communication is much more similar to mine.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2233 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Fiance tends to be the silent type but he is learning how to communicate better. He is always honest and open once I get him to talk but sometimes he has a hard time putting his feelings or whatever is going on into words. I’ve learned to be patient and let him take his time.

    I, on the hand, am really opinionated and you can’t get me to shut up once I get going usually. I think we’ve both adjusted our communication styles to fit each other and have met sort of half way so that we have something that really works for us.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My Fiance is passive aggressive. SO annoying. He is generally ridiculously easy going but when he does rarely have an issue, I’m really good at reading him but if I miss a passive aggressive cue I don’t blame myself. Communication is def one of our we-need-to-improve. Fortunately there aren’t “issues” in the relationship. 

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