(Closed) Realising I have no friends or family if I were to get married

posted 4 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m sort of similar. Only my mum and best friend will be there on my side. We always wanted a small thing thankfully, so he’s only having 8 guests (immediate family). 

I’ve been thinking of it as “even if I don’t have much family there, his family ARE my family. It’s not us and them, it’s all of us as a collective” 🙂 

Post # 3
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

auds:  do a destination wedding, or do it just you two alone in a nice beach ceremony, or if you want people there then do one of those signs that say sit wherever two families become one type of thing 

Post # 4
Member
5107 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

auds:  I was sort of similar as well. My family lives in a different state and most (everyone besides my mother and step father) don’t have the means to travel. My step brother is not in touch with the family and I haven’t spoken to my father or his side of the family in years. I only have a couple of friends here. Darling Husband has some family here, and a ton of friends. We just decided to have a small ceremony with my parents and his parents and siblings. We did travel to my home state several months later and had a party with some of my family there. Tons of people elope or just go to the courthouse as a couple and that’s it. It sucks that you don’t have 100 people on your side for that picture perfect movie wedding, but in the end it’s just one day. You and your husband are what really matter for your marriage, not what kind of party you had to celebrate it. 

Post # 5
Member
903 posts
Busy bee

Make some friends! Volunteer somewhere.

Post # 6
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

auds:  Can his family travel? Maybe you can get married there or have 2 receptions in both places that way you both have people you love celebrating with you

Post # 7
Member
371 posts
Helper bee

auds: I also believe that making your own friends is extremely important. I hope my question doesn’t sound harsh to you, but why haven’t you made any friends over the last 6 years? 

Post # 8
Member
47209 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

My ex used to be transferred in his work every year. It was up to me to make friends and make them fast. If you have lived there for  6 years, you have had plenty of time to make friends. What is holding you back?

Post # 9
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I’m in a similar situation, but I don’t have a totally legit excuse like living in another country. My family has a lot of fueding, and my grandparents are all deceased, so I will probably have a total of 8-10 family members invited to the wedding, and since they are all out of town, I don’t know how many, if any, will come. I have exactly 1 friend that is not a mutual friend of Fiance and I. I’m not very close with many high school friends. Fiance has so many friends from college that I don’t know, but he is 3 years older than me and we went to the same (small) college so he met all my friends basically at the same time I met them. To make matters worse Fiance has a gigantic family spread all across the US that love and support each other and will travel to the ends of the earth to show up for weddings. I wonder what they will think of my family not willing to drive 3 hours lol.

Ultimately, though, I’m lucky to be joining this big loving family, and I consider them my family even now. I actually think the wedding will be MORE about me (and I’m not sure I personally like that) because everyone will be falling all over themselves to meet me. I have only met maybe 1/4 of his family, even though we have been together for 7 years. For wedding logistics, don’t have “sides” in the church/ceremony. I’m planning on having a sign (very common, not my idea) that says “As 2 families are becoming 1, please choose a seat, not a side.”

Post # 10
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

I have a similar situation.  When we first got engaged, I was adding up numbers and looking at reception venues and realized that when we figured 150 people..FIVE of them were seriously mine. We had even cut some of his family out to keep it at 150.

 We had it planned to not have people sit on the side there were there for because I would have had anxiety issues…lol

Then we decided to just go to vegas.  For what we was going to spend on a reception I didn’t really want, we can spend the same amount in Vegas with people we REALLY want to spend the time with.

Pic of where our ceremony will be…perfect for 20 to 25 people 

Post # 11
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Same! I don’t talk to my family and some issues over the last couple of years means I have mainly stopped being friends with most of the friends I had. That’s part of the reason we’re not having any guests. It was the way we would have wanted it anyway though.

Post # 15
Member
2129 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

auds:  You are getting ahead of yourself. I have family and friends coming to my wedding but if I had my way, Fiance and I would get married on a beach on an island just us two. Fiance wants this wedding because he has a big family and tons of friends. I could care less. As long as it’s you and him that’s all that really matters. 

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