(Closed) Reality Hurts, Trying to Move Forward but proving difficult.

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
381 posts
Helper bee

Why would you stay with someone like that?  There are too many great guys out there.  Detach yourself from this, deal with the psychological ramifications of ending it (completely), and move forward.  Far too many wonderful people out there.

Post # 4
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

You are doing the right thing by leaving him. Be sure to go to your friends and family for comfort (and help – emotionally and maybe financially).

Post # 5
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

A lot of guys get a kick out of having 2 women at once. It’s their selfish, cowardly way of feeling like “a man”. From what you have just poured out to us, I have deducted that that is exactly what he is. A selfish coward. Since you are the mother of his child, he probably does have some kind of feelings for you, but clearly it is not enough for him to be honest with you or give you his heart completely, and even if he crawled up to you right this second and begged you for forgiveness for his lies & cheating, I would not even consider it. Beside the fact that you are his child’s mother, and allowing him to see his son/daughter, you need to sever all other ties with him. Do not entertain his pillow talk & empty promises. Move on and find someone who gives 2 craps about you.

About your instance of “cheating”: Don’t let his crocodile tears fool you. The only thing that’s hurt is his pride. You going outside the relationship & finding someone else for any kind of connection at all, threatens his control over you. That’s why he got so upset.

I hope this all works out for you & you find the strength you need to move on! No one deserves to be treated like that!

Post # 7
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Um…are you engaged or married to this jerk?

Walk..no make that run away now.  And secure child support for your child.  You said you cheated too is that right?

I’d say that at this point, I would quit worrying about what he said or she said or who has what child or house or car.  It’s about you being a good mom and being 100 percent together for your child.  You only owe one person something..that’s your child and whom you should do all things possible to secure a peaceful and normal life for.  Living in a home with constant bickering can’t be good for a child.

I think now’s the time to step away from the whole situation.  Maybe to go and talk to a therapist and find out how to help yourself and get out of this for good.  Also, I’d just work from the inside out and maybe not involve anybody else (another guy) until you’re healthy and healed from all of this trauma.

Wish you happiness and love and the same to your precious child. 

Post # 8
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think its best for you and your child to get out of the situation.  You may think you love him but he is clearly not someone who deserves you.

Perhaps you should contact the other woman just to give her a heads up, he is probably lying about you as well.  

He is never going to stop lying to you, if its ot this other woman it will likely be someone else.

Pray.  There are so many people that love you, turn to them for support

Post # 10
381 posts
Helper bee

It seriously disturbs me that he believes and encourages that your lady parts change because you’re going outside of the relationship.  That is absolutely not true.  Frankly, he’s exposing you to Save-The-Date Cards and disease by cheating.

This is a horrible situation, and I wish you the best of luck moving forward.  There just are too many good men out there to waste time and love on this one.  🙂

Post # 11
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you need to leave. he is playing mind games with you, telling you what you want/need to hear to keep you there, while he has another woman he is doing the same thing with. Why would you want to keep putting yourself through that? You need to get out and establish a good stable life for you and your child. What this man is doing is not healthy to either of you.

Post # 13
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

This makes me very, very angry at someone I’ve never met (him, not you). Do the right thing for yourself and your child and LEAVE. You and your child both deserve better.

Post # 15
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

“He did mention that physical changes happens to a womans Vag. when she begins to go outside the relationship, it stretches inside nolonger molding to the man’s (stick)….”

This is complete fiction, a lie he told you to control you.  I am a doctor and I can tell you that this is absolutely false!

I don’t usually give advice, but your story made me so sad/angry/upset.  I would honestly advise you to leave this cheating, lying, ridiculous excuse of a man.  Staying with him will only bring you pain.  Think of the example you are setting for your child.  By staying with him, you are telling your son that this man’s actions are acceptable.  This is NOT love.  The fact that he was upset to find out that you had been with other men does not mean he loves you.  I doubt if this jerk is capable of loving anyone!  You and your deserve so much better.  You deserve someone who will cherish you and place you before anything else in his life.  Leave and NEVER look back.

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