(Closed) Realizing My FH was Faked Out

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Does he think he purchased platinum? If so, then yes you should say something. If he paid for platinum and was given silver that’s pretty sh*tty and he should receive what he paid for and thought he was getting. 

Where it gets tricky with telling him is if he knows he got silver and he’s trying to play it off as something it’s not… He might be ashamed that that was all he could afford and told you it was something else? If you really don’t care, and he knows it’s silver, it’s your call if you want to bring it up.


Post # 4
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

um, YES. 

Either two things happened:

1) your FH lied to you about something that you wouldn’t have cared about anyway which makes me question why he needs to lie? 

2) he got the bad end of a deal and paid platinum for a sterling silver price. if that’s the case – I’m sure you and him wants what he paid for!

Post # 5
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I recommend having the ring tested to make sure it’s SS before you worry him. If it turns out to be anything other than platinum (platinum DOES get dinged, scratched, etc), then it’s time tofell him so that he can either get his money back or get the real thing. My engagement ring is a Tiffany style 2-2.5 mm width solitaire band. The platinum alone for my band was $900. When platinum prices recently dropped it went down to $750 but still.. that’s a chunk of change. Not to mention I’d be terrified of having a valuable stone in stirling silver prongs. I bend my SS rings all time and have lost quite a few non-precious stones (I’m rough on rings).

Post # 6
35 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him, so if he did get duped he has an opportunity to go back to the retailer and get some money back or change the setting.

When you bring it up, just mention it super casually, and see how he reacts. If he’s really defensive, he probably knows he’s silver (and if you don’t care, let it go – he was just trying to impress you!) and if he’s genuinely shocked, he got scammed by the jeweller. 

So not cool for the jeweller to do that, so I think you should definitely mention something. 


Post # 7
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I would definitely say something. Sterling silver is beautiful, but it’s not ideal for a wedding/engagement ring. I have a sterling ring that I wore everyday for less than a year and a half and it’s already bent out of shape from wear. I’m sure you don’t want that to happen to your beautiful ring. I’d tell him and then the both of you go visit the jeweler that sold it to him.

Post # 8
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with taking it to a jewelers to have it tested, as horrible as this sounds you might want to have them check out the stone too. A lot of simulated diamonds look VERY similar to real diamonds.

I would approach the topic very carefully as everyone else is saying because if he knows about it then he’s going to feel really embarassed and potentially defensive and angry OR he had gotten scammed and will have to take the steps to rectify the situation.

I think the best thing to do is make sure that he knows you love it no matter what it turns out to be because it was the ring he chose for you to symbolize his commitment to wed and THAT is what it’s all about.

Post # 9
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Do you have the paperwork on the ring/appraisal handy? If not can you ask to see the papers before you mention it to him? That will tell you what he thinks he bought and you’ll know whether to just leave it alone or pursue this.

Post # 10
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Do you mind sharing what the markings are? My ring is platinum and it is stamped “.950″‘ which I had thought was a marking for silver, but it only means that the metal is .95 pure platinum, apparently. I had no idea until the man who appraised my ring told me. I also find that it gets scratched up and almost looks matte on the palm side of the ring. This is fixed by buffing, they make it look good as new!

Post # 11
4477 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

agree that you should get it tested BEFORE bringing this up to your Fiance.  .950 is used to show the content of the metal, and .950 is used in both sterling silver and platinum.  Platinum also does get scratches, and I’ve heard people say it scratches more easily than gold.  Good thing is those scratches can be buffed out without losing any metal.  


If it turns out not to be platinum but silver, tell him, because sterling silver’s not durable and you stand a chance of losing your center stone.  I wouldn’t bring it up, though, until being 100% sure.  If he was duped, he should know.

Post # 12
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The difference between platinum and gold (and silver) is that when it gets scratched it can be buffed out without any loss of material – because when you cratch a gold ring, you actually scrape away a tiny part of the metal and it’s lost but when you sratch platinum the material just “rearranges.”

It’s harder to scratch platinum but it is totally possible. Better indicator is the weight – the same ring in platinum will be much heavier than one in gold (or silver). Is you ring very light? I agree with PP – don’t do anything without testing the metel first 🙂

To show you some “evidence” I reccomend this article or this one.

Hope This Helps

Post # 14
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

The easiest thing to do would be to get it appraised, you need to do that to have it insured anyway.  So tell him you are getting your ring insured, get the appraisal, and if it comes back as anything other than platinum show him the appraisal.  If he still has the paperwork from the jeweler indicating he purchased platinum you should take legal action against the dealer.

Post # 15
6247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

I would definitely speak to your Fiance about this.  You are going to be married, shouldn’t you two be able to discuss anything and everything with each other?  He shouldn’t feel like he has to lie to you about something, and/or you shouldn’t feel like you can’t talk to him about something that bothers you. 

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