Realizing that I don't have any close friends..

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
Celestiger :  Are you ok not having a core group of friends or support system?

If not, you have to open up in order to develop those deep friendships. I’m not saying to open up to everyone, I am suggesting opening up to the few friends you feel comfortable with.

If you are not comfortable opening up to people, it is very hard to have close friends. 

In closing, friendship is a risk like any other relationship. But it is very rewarding with the right person/dynamic.

Post # 3
Member
4243 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m realizing as I approach 30 that some people who thought I would be my close friends forever now aren’t close friends.  I think it’s normal as you get older to be more particular with your friendships.

If I were in your situation I would maybe look into meetup groups or go out to work happy hours to meet more people.

Post # 4
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I know how you feel. Sometimes it makes me sad that I don’t have more close friends to go out with or talk to. Other times I feel like I’m too busy and don’t have time for other people and just want to be by myself or with my fiancé. I’m really shy so opening up to people is hard for me too. So, I get it. I think opening up to the friends you feel most comfortable with is the best option in this case. This could possibly draw you closer and become better friends. Or you could always go out and do things that you like and meet people that way. 

Post # 5
Member
1836 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

It takes me time to open up to people too, but the more I’ve travelled and therefore had to start over, the better I’ve got at it. Friendships can’t become deep otherwise. It’s hard but you need to be vulnerable. Not with everyone, but find one or two people you’d like to know better and force yourself to let them in more.

Post # 6
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee

Never too late! There is no age limit on developing friendships. 

Post # 7
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I had that same issue so I joined Meetup.com and eventually created my own group. I met a lot of cool chicks that way. I have one best friend now and I don’t like to bother her with my issues sometimes but you only need one good friend. Keep pushing.  

Post # 8
Member
2357 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
jerzgrlnmd :  Meetup is a great way to meet new people. Thats what I did for two years. I meet some cool people however, our core group of people disbanded due to a divorce, moving to another city, and some other crap.  But man, it was a great time.

Post # 9
Member
2822 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

I met a lot of people doing yoga and if I didn’t move, I think I would have met up with some of them and got to know them better.

I moved recently so I joined Meet Up. I like the variety of groups, they’re just never good times for me to go. 

Sometimes it’s nice to meet people through work too, just so you have people to vent to or know what you do for a living. Do you have a work environment where you can meet people? 

Post # 10
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

I feel you on this one OP 🙁

The thing is I have had/have really close friendships and a core group of friends but I have moved so often in my adult life that it’s been hard to maintain meaningful contact with most of them.  I was an undergrad in Minnesota, moved to Australia for my graduate program, went to Russia for two years after graduation and have been living in Germany for the last three years… you get the point. 

In the age of social media, it’s easy to stay in touch with people but it’s quite another thing to hang out with them in person or have the the time go plan a get together. This is where like you I am struggling too. My two prospective bridesmaids…one is in Australia and the other is in Minnesota. That’s it. I often wish I had this core group of friends from my hometown, from childhood to automatically be in a fantasy wedding party but it just isn’t so….

If you are settled in one place my best suggestion is to join a sports team or another hobby oriented organization. I have done this here with limited success, but in my case there are bigger cultural obstacles.

Post # 11
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m sorry dear. Me neither. I went through a grieving period when it really hurt that I didn’t have a girl friend to share secrets with, someone to hang out with without making plans weeks in advance, that no one had any clue what went on in my life unless I reached out to them first, and that if there was any drama going on in my life I had no one IRL to talk to for a sanity check and had to resort to posting on Weddingbee or something 🙂 Can’t say it gets easier, that wouldn’t be true, but you kind of get used to it. I still hope things will change of course, life’s not over yet so who knows!

Post # 12
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Both my Fiance and I feel like we don’t have any close friends. We both had plenty of friends in HS and college too. Adulthood is WEIRD!!! I stress about it but am trying not to. I try to make plans with people and be outgoing. I’ve gotten to a point where I realize that I have done all that I can. If I develop some great frendships- awesome, if not- I am still the person that I am and not any less!

XO

Post # 13
Member
1539 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve made one or two really close friends through each job I’ve had over the years, is there anyone at work you could see a close friendship with? 

Post # 14
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

I moved three years ago, post-divorce and over 40.  It has been really hard to make friends in my new city.  Good Lord, I miss my girls back home.  It is just really hard to find friends as we age, I think.  We are all obligated to home, family, work…  and we are also more particular.  Just keep plugging along and when you meet someone you might have a spark with, be sure to extend a hand in friendship.  It starts slowly.  🙂

hugs

Post # 15
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

I’m with ya.

During my high school years 11 years ago I had many friends. After high school, my bestfriend moved down South ( but she’s coming to my wedding yay!) My other bestfriend changed for the worst, not better and I haven’t talked to her in almost 4 years- I don’t even know where she is. I double date with my friends but we barely get together because life.  

 

I work in an office and run the whole thing. I also feel like I don’t have any close friends because of work. If I worked somewhere with people things would be different. 

I have 3 friends coming to my wedding- the rest are family.

Although I do have friends but they’re in different states, I feel alone sometime

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors