(Closed) really annoyed. need your help.

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 62
37 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

wow.  time to step back and realize the drama is not worth it!  how about just put her in the same dress as the other BMs and be done with it.  pay for her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and ask for the money owed.  i realize that’s not the tradition, but isn’t your sanity worth bending the rules a little bit? no one’s going to walk away from your wedding thinking “gee was that awful, the Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t even have a special dress”.

my Fiance is american and i’m chinese, and the traditions of who pays for what are totally opposite.  it can be pretty distressing, but you just have to have open conversations with everyone and learn to compromise.

Post # 67
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Post 1:  not wear the same dress as the Bridesmaid or Best Man and I made that very clear to her.. that I would like her to wear something more extravagant.

Post 11:  she gets to pick her own dress! i am giving her the ultimate freedom to pick whatever she likes

So if she wanted to wear a simple dress she already has, or even the same dress from the engagement party would that be okay?  If so, fine.  

If it needs to be an extravagant fancy dress, then the money may be an issue.  I would not have expected to buy a new dress for my own engagement party, so while it was nice of you mom to loan her money, it may have been that she was not expecting to need a fancy dress for that event?

I would just let you mom and her handle the money for the first dress.  You mom loaned it to her (did she know it was a loan?) leave it between the 2 of them.

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