Post # 1
I’ve had the worst waiting day! Since I found out he bought the ring I have been obsessing about it. I just want to know on what timeline he is thinking of proposing! I suffer from mild depression and today I was having a really down day. So when hescale in from work I wasfighting back the tiers. Eventually he managed to get out of me what was wrong and I explained that is really frubaitingknowing he has bought me a ring but not being engaged.
He wasnt too happy with what I had to say and asked me why I couldn’t just be happy. Eventually he told me it would be before Christmas and that I should just relax.
But I can’t just relax! I feel like my life is on hold until hea proposes and I’ve told my closest friends he has bought a ring and now I’m going to just look stupid – I know I only have myself to blame for that..
Post # 3
Typing that on my phone came out all wrong! Oops!
Post # 4
@Miss_DitsyD: I am having a hard time understanding why you’re so upset now that you know when he’ll propose. You have your whole life to be married. I get that waiting is hard when you have no clue what the timeline is, but you know it’ll be before Christmas. That isn’t very long, you know!
In the meantime, be sweet to him (you don’t want him rethinking this marriag think because you’re acting a little nutty lol), and focus on yourself. Start getting into shape for the wedding if you’re not already. Get a hobby. The time will fly by.
Post # 5
@Miss_DitsyD: First, keep as calm as you can. I’m VERY Type A personality, and must remind myself of this ALL.THE.TIME…but try to keep calm.
Next, you know he has the ring. It’s not like you don’t know IF he wants to buy the ring, when…etc. So that’s a plus. 🙂 Now, you don’t want to freak him out and probably have to wait even LONGER to get it because you are “obsessing” over it, like you mentioned. Guys usually get turned off VERY quickly by that. It’s very exciting knowing that he bought the ring, and even nerve-racking actually waiting for the proposal, but trust him. He says before Christmas, so believe him. In the meantime, do as many crossword puzzles as you can. Who knows?…your willingness to chill out may prompt him to make his move even sooner. 😉
Post # 6
@Miss_DitsyD: oh girl… that’s no good… being that yay may have him get cold feet. You have to be a grown up woman he fell in love with. Don’t be depressed/obssesed about it, he has the ring, clearly he WANTS to marry you, it’s just a matther of time. Relax…
Post # 7
Thanks so much for your advice ladies. I think it is just my depression rearing it’s ugly head! I know I am so lucky he wants to et married, some days I feel very chilled out and other I just can’t seem to think rationally. Christmas feels like a life time away when I feel like this.
Post # 8
@canarydiamond: I can see where the OP is coming from. My ex-SIL waited for 3 YEARS after he discovered the ring before her husband proposed! They were together for 7 years by the time they got married (which was a year after he proposed).
Post # 9
@Miss_DitsyD: I understand being upset- really, I do. Sometimes it’s hard to understand why on earth he’s waiting when he’s had the ring for a while. But try not to think about it so much.
Just be happy, and focus on spending time with SO. Being in love and knowing you’re going to get married is an incredible thing. Go with that and just creep on the boards here for your ring fix until he decides the moment is perfect for the proposal. 🙂
Post # 10
This can be stressful. It’s something you want so bad and you can tase it. You know about it, and you want it! The good thing is that he has it and you know you will be engaged soon! Enjoy life until then and start your wedding planning process. The day will come before you know it!
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
Waiting super sucks, it’s really a no win situation since its horrible to not know anything at all but it’s also horrible to know a little or know he’s sitting on a ring.
christmas really isn’t that long away though! This is exciting for you 😀 it’s /only/ 7 months away! is there anything sooner you can look forward to as well? Projects to bide your time? 🙂
7 months will soon turn into less than half a year… Then less than a quarter of a year… Then less than a month. Hang in there girl, xx
Post # 12
Go take a walk. Work out. Read a book. Cook something. Do ANYTHING, but be productive. Every time you think about that ring, go do something useful. Assume that he will be giving you the ring on Dec. 25th. Anything before that is just bonus 🙂
Post # 13
@Bazingau: Good god, 3 years?! What a patient lady. There’s no way I would have stuck around…
Post # 14
@Miss_DitsyD: Lady, I know how you feel! I would be going crazy if I knew SO had the ring and said it would be up to another 6 months before he proposed! What is the point in waiting so long?
I definitely think you just need to try and enjoy the positive aspects as much as possible. But I 100% know where you’re coming from!
Post # 15
@Miss_DitsyD: Can I just ask, if he already has the ring (so he clearly wants to propose to you, wants to get married), why wait until December? If he isn’t ready to take that step, why has he purchased a ring?? I guess I just read so many stories on the Bee of a guy buying a ring, letting his SO know that he has the ring, and then keeping her waiting for months on end. Why not just propose??
ETA: I’m absolutely not trying to be rude, this is a genuine question. It seems like a game to me, where one partner has all the power and the other gets to wait around and see what happens. Doesn’t seem fair!
Post # 16
I think the most important thing to do is NOT to freak out about getting emotional with your SO! I know that for me, I tend to really spiral after I do something that upsets my fiance – and it makes everything so much worse. What could have been a small spat turns into something much worse when I let myself dwell on how I fucked up, how I’m going to chase him away with my awful behavior and so on and so on. So please stop feeling bad about it. What’s done is done, and everyone gets a little emotional sometimes. You move on, you try to stay positive in the future!
I know how frustrating waiting can be, having gone through it myself – once we’d decided we’d get engaged, I was on pins and needles until the ring was on my greedy little finger! Lol. But recently, I’ve gotten to see it from another perspective. One of my good guy friends is about to propose to his girlfriend. They bought the ring together a few weeks ago – so she knows he has it! He wants to wait til the summer to propose, though. He has a particular place and time that he wants to propose, and I think it’s really sweet that he’s planned it all out and is so excited about it. But his girlfriend is getting anxious, I think, and doesn’t completely understand why he won’t just do it NOW. Seeing the situation from the other side really opened my eyes – it’s his one chance to make the moment special for her, and he doesn’t understand why she won’t just trust him and be patient for a few more months.
Believe me – I know how frustrating it is! But just hang in there and trust him. 🙂