(Closed) Really considering throwing in the towel

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am so sorry. I wish I had good advice. I never know how to handle it when usually perfectly rational people go off the deep end either.

Post # 4
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

 I think you need to call her, and gently explain that she is going to have to trust you.  You have it under control, they are going out this week, which is plenty of time for people to make arrangements.

It sounds like stress on he rpart.  As a bride about the same distance out, I find I stress about little crap on random days.  I have to phyiscally tell myself to trust my ladies, and family, and let it go.  They will handle it.  I am a control freak, so this is somewhat hard for me.

ETA:  My wedding is in August.  Shower is in May.  My family was all over me at christmas and weekly since asking when the invites were coming.  We intended to send the invites out in mid-March.  We are now mailing them 2-4 weeks early because of the craziness.  As the bride, I was borderline meltdown having so many people asking me about it.  It’s hard to stay focused and calm when a million people are questioning you about things!

Be kind, and understand that this is such a big deal to your friend, it’s more likely that she is stressed out and over excited more than that you can’t satisfy her.  It doesn’t give her the right to be nasty towards you either though, so be firm, but remember all the little things she is probably having thrown at her daily.

You are obviously a good friend, continue to be so and try not to take things too personally.  I am sure your plans will be wonderful!

Post # 5
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ohmybuhjeezes:  You need to tell her to back off, but in a nicer way! My mom and sisters are throwing my shower and every time I give input they tell me not to worry about it because they are throwing it for me. It’s very hard for me because I am a complete and total control freak, but I have realized that it’s just the shower / not the wedding. Just simply tell her that you are throwing the shower and it will be great so she needs to back off. Tell her to concentrate on wedding stuff and leave the wedding shower planning to you. Just tell her to trust you! You obviously know her well if you two are BFF’s! Just explain that to her and let her know that if you need her help you will ask for it. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ohmybuhjeezes:  Sounds like there is a lot going on there.  I can understand where your frustrations come from for sure!  

Hopefully you guys can work things out, just keep in mind weddings are highly emotional, mostly for the bride, so she is likely not thinking straight!

Post # 9
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hi it’s clear that both of you are under a lot of stress and maybe you shoud think that if she’s your friend you should remember why all of this is happening- because you two want to share the process.

I got engaged 3 weeks ago, I’m getting married on July 15th 2012, and up till now, I’ve bought a wedding dress, booked a chusrch and venue, bought wedding rings and have made a pre-order for the flowers. I am such a wreck both emotionally and physically- because after all you get one wedding (at least that’s my philosophy and most brides’ I guess) and I felt great pressure in booking everything fast enough to be on time- that now some of the best parts.. I feel.. are over.. and they went by in a flash. And that worries me.. a lot…

plus everyone kept asking me “when this” “when what” and I felt as if I were in a race. and I realise it now and it’s too late. (not that I take back any of the decisions I made)

So if she’s going through that, maybe that’s why she wants to get all “control freak” on you, and maybe it’s just her and not abou you at all.

And if she isn’t, and she’s just another “bridgilla”, then maybe in the long run you’ll be better off just calling her up and go with what she wants.

It’s her loss that she doesn’t want to feel surprised/pampered by her best friends.

but after the wedding everything will be over and your friendship will still be there.

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