Post # 1
I’ve posted before about the complications of this shower. I’ve tried my hardest to satisfy everyone and its just not working. Not only was the invitation wording attacked because some people are vain, but now the bride herself is telling me not to go overboard because her invitations for the wedding aren’t fancy.
I already bought the paper for these, told her what they were and everything was fine and dandy.
She texts me about when I’m doing them becasue people are asking her about the shower (which is nearly 2 months away and her wedding is 5 months away!) I’m printing/mailing them this week and now this drama about the supplies I already bought…..ARGH
Is this just one of those times that I say do it yourself?? Its starting to seem completely impossible to please her and I’m fretting that anything I do will not be to her standards. Why can’t my BFF just trust me to throw her a good shower??
I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Post # 3
I am so sorry. I wish I had good advice. I never know how to handle it when usually perfectly rational people go off the deep end either.
Post # 4
I think you need to call her, and gently explain that she is going to have to trust you. You have it under control, they are going out this week, which is plenty of time for people to make arrangements.
It sounds like stress on he rpart. As a bride about the same distance out, I find I stress about little crap on random days. I have to phyiscally tell myself to trust my ladies, and family, and let it go. They will handle it. I am a control freak, so this is somewhat hard for me.
ETA: My wedding is in August. Shower is in May. My family was all over me at christmas and weekly since asking when the invites were coming. We intended to send the invites out in mid-March. We are now mailing them 2-4 weeks early because of the craziness. As the bride, I was borderline meltdown having so many people asking me about it. It’s hard to stay focused and calm when a million people are questioning you about things!
Be kind, and understand that this is such a big deal to your friend, it’s more likely that she is stressed out and over excited more than that you can’t satisfy her. It doesn’t give her the right to be nasty towards you either though, so be firm, but remember all the little things she is probably having thrown at her daily.
You are obviously a good friend, continue to be so and try not to take things too personally. I am sure your plans will be wonderful!
Post # 5
@ohmybuhjeezes: You need to tell her to back off, but in a nicer way! My mom and sisters are throwing my shower and every time I give input they tell me not to worry about it because they are throwing it for me. It’s very hard for me because I am a complete and total control freak, but I have realized that it’s just the shower / not the wedding. Just simply tell her that you are throwing the shower and it will be great so she needs to back off. Tell her to concentrate on wedding stuff and leave the wedding shower planning to you. Just tell her to trust you! You obviously know her well if you two are BFF’s! Just explain that to her and let her know that if you need her help you will ask for it. 🙂
Post # 6
I asked her before I bought the nonreturnable paper and she said it was fine. I even offered them to her for her reg invitations and told her I’d go pick more up for her if she wanted. She said no. This is stressing me out so much. IDK if me saying I’d use a printer my family has because its professional quality (aka they rent it and the ink won’t run out like a reg printer) freaked her out or what…..just ugh at this point.
Post # 7
@Take The Reins: She knows when the date is since she picked it and she continues to tell them. She’s too passive sometimes and actually very relaxed about her wedding. Heck, I had to tell her it was coming to the date that we had to buy bridesmaid dresses or march over to Macys! They were ordered at the last minute possible!
I’m trying to be as kind as possible but the whole thing is driving me nuts and I have my own life to worry about too ya know?? The story keeps changing from one week to the next and my patience is getting pushed. With all the input and demands she’s made, the whole joy of giving her this shower is slowly slipping away. On top of the shower, she only calls to talk about her wedding plans and what she wants for the bachelorette. No- ‘hey hows things with you and your bf?’ ‘hows work?’ I’m starting to feel like a glorified personal party planner and it p*sses me off to no end. Now that I have that out of my system….
I’ll try your advice of kindly telling her to lay off and stop worrying about it.
Post # 8
@ohmybuhjeezes: Sounds like there is a lot going on there. I can understand where your frustrations come from for sure!
Hopefully you guys can work things out, just keep in mind weddings are highly emotional, mostly for the bride, so she is likely not thinking straight!
Post # 9
Hi it’s clear that both of you are under a lot of stress and maybe you shoud think that if she’s your friend you should remember why all of this is happening- because you two want to share the process.
I got engaged 3 weeks ago, I’m getting married on July 15th 2012, and up till now, I’ve bought a wedding dress, booked a chusrch and venue, bought wedding rings and have made a pre-order for the flowers. I am such a wreck both emotionally and physically- because after all you get one wedding (at least that’s my philosophy and most brides’ I guess) and I felt great pressure in booking everything fast enough to be on time- that now some of the best parts.. I feel.. are over.. and they went by in a flash. And that worries me.. a lot…
plus everyone kept asking me “when this” “when what” and I felt as if I were in a race. and I realise it now and it’s too late. (not that I take back any of the decisions I made)
So if she’s going through that, maybe that’s why she wants to get all “control freak” on you, and maybe it’s just her and not abou you at all.
And if she isn’t, and she’s just another “bridgilla”, then maybe in the long run you’ll be better off just calling her up and go with what she wants.
It’s her loss that she doesn’t want to feel surprised/pampered by her best friends.
but after the wedding everything will be over and your friendship will still be there.