- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2016
My fiancé and I have now been engaged for roughly 8 hours. But we’ve been together almost 6 years (in 2 weeks is our anniversary). We know each other well (or so I thought) but I can hardly sleep due to the lack of thought and meaning he put into the proposal.
Ive never been one to ask for grand displays of affection. I wouldn’t want an audience, a song or some crazy dance number but my proposal was … Horrible. So much so, I haven’t told anyone.
I came home very tired, I’d been outside in the sun working for a good portion of the day so I felt gross and had a lot of work to do as I’m leaving out of town tomorrow. My fiancé was normally at work at this time so I didn’t expect him to be there. He was. It was a pleasant surprise.
I told him all the work I had to do, yet he insisted I play the new Mario maker game (you can make your own Mario levels) so I’m playing and I see he attempted to spell something but the screen cuts it off so I just keep playing.
He stops me and realizes he messed up on the level and goes to the “maker screen” and shows a “marry me?” out of Mario blocks. I say yes. Then he just hands it to me. No fanfare and says well I know you’ve been needing to change insurance so now we can be on the same one. (so romantic).
I try it on its a little ill fitting which was to be expected because I am not an exact size 7. So we go to the jewelry store to get it resized and off it goes To be back in 5 days.
The ring is literally nothing like we discussed. At one point we went and tried some on. I told him not to spend too much, again I don’t need nor want him to spend 2 months salary but it’s clear he spent very very little and it’s literally not even anything like I wanted or asked for. In fact I remember saying I do not want something like this. We are in our 30s, have a house, decent jobs so it’s not like he couldn’t afford something a little nicer. It honestly looks and feels like a promise ring a high school kid would give someone. It just seems like he actively defied anything I suggested. I told him I made a wish list on etsy of rings and styles I like, and my best friend knows what I like As well so ask her. He looked at the list and said none of them seemed very me (what? I picked them!) and he didn’t ask her for an opinion at all. He asked his coworkers, most of whom I’ve never even met.
It was important that, if I wear it for the rest of my life that it’s something I love and sadly it’s really not but I haven’t said anything. After the jewelry store, we puttered around the mall and went to an ok restaurant (it’s connected to the mall so it wasn’t super nice) and that was it.
I just feel undervalued by a lot. I won’t see him until Sunday night because I’m out of town for the next few days, when I got home I had a TON of work to catch up on and stayed up late doing it and have to wake up very early to leave so I couldn’t enjoy my night at all. Also annoyed because our 6 year anniversary is in 2 weeks and we are going on a romantic getaway Why not wait till the day before that!?
Can I just have a do-over? I just needed to rant to someone! Not sure if I’ll ever say anything and hurt his feelings.