(Closed) Really emotional and unhappy. Wedding is three months away….

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsDrRose612:  This is me right now. I am so on edge. Grouchy. Irritated with everything Fiance does. We never ever fight, lately we can’t go a day with not arguing about something. It’s totally me too, which is so hard to get past. I don’t like being this way. I get soooo agitated with everything he does. I know this is the man of my dreams. We have been together for 5 years and NEVER had issues like this. I need to go away by myself for a weekend and decompress! Good luck!!! I hope things start looking up for you 🙂

Post # 4
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ok first of all you need to step away from the wedding planning and breathe. Your not the only one feeling this way and imo I think that this is normal. Sometime wedding planning can be so overwhelming and it causes us to lose focus of the day itself. This day is about you becoming MRS. X and honestly thats all that matters. This thought process has been helping me get through on those days where im feeling ” crazy”. Im learning that life always wont go as planned but as long as you have that one person with you, the 2 of you can get through anything.

A possible suggestion is to do a date night with # 1 rule….. NO WEDDING TALK!!!

Wish you the best of luck…..

Post # 5
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think at some point, everyone gets to this point…whether they have a breakdown, or they just think about it and realize that it’s so much money for one day.  Yes, the wedding world is a monopoly, and the reason that it is is because people want nice things!  Everyone wants the champagne on the beer budget. But, at the end of the day, you will say “wow, that was a lot of money for one day”, but you will probably also say “wow, that was fun and so worth it”.  All you have are memories, so make it count! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s easy to let yourself fall into the mindset of “all this for one day!?!”. What you have to remember is that it really isn’t just one day. It’s months of planning and picking out pretty things that you won’t “ever” get to do again. Every time I get bummed out about how much something costs I remember all the fun and “entertainment” looking for the perfect <insert wedding related expense here> was. I don’t know… it kind of helps me mentally deal with the cost :).

Other then that… I definitely think stepping away from it all and just having a good time with your Fiance is a great idea!

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsDrRose612:  Looks like we were in the same boat yesterday, I was in a horrible mood and crying in my car on my way to work. It even got to the point where I left work as soon as I could get out. It felt like someone was choking me all day I was so out of it and I was so upset. I’m so stressed about moving away up north right after the wedding and figuring out how to live there without a job in place or knowing anything about the city or people for that matter. Not to mention the Fiance lives really far away and I seriously call him every day emotional and stressed. He’s stressed because he’s working on his Master’s and working 30 hours at the same time teaching, which leaves us short on money. I’m not even having a crazy lavish wedding, but it’s stressing me out that we could have just taken whatever was left over and put it towards something more meaningful. But at the same time I also wanted a wedding… I understand it. Good luck dear! 

Post # 11
Member
203 posts
Helper bee

@MrsDrRose612: 

Crying’s good. It gets feelings out when words don’t work.

All this shows you are appreciating what you’re doing.  Hope you feel better about things soon, which I’m sure you will.

x

Post # 13
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I tend to handle high anxiety by getting really irritable and shutting down and being silent.

I can relate… and it TOTALLY irritates me FH. I want to give him projects but fear he won’t do it and disappoint me. I have lived alone forever and will soon have FH and his 2 boys living with me, very life-changing as well. So much growing up to do at once. In the end, it will make us all better. Go out with friends and have a drink or give yourself permission to take 2 or 3 days off wedding planning. We’re getting close (my wedding is one week after yours) to what is supposed to be an amazing day. We BOTH need to relax and remember that regardless of how it turns out we’ll be married… just remember to sign those papers!

Post # 14
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Just take a step back and breathe. If you’re worried about little things not getting done, sit down and make a list. TheKnot has a To-do list with weekly deadlines. You could do that and when you’ve completed your “list” for the week, you and Fiance can agree to have some personal time together and not talk about the wedding. The fact is that yes, it is all this planning for one day, and that one day flies by. So make sure you enjoy the planning and decision making because before you know it it’ll be over! Don’t feel bad about the money being spent if your parents are financially able and willing to pay. I’m sure you aren’t going crazy throwing their money around, you obviously have a conscience about it, so don’t feel guilty. Wedding planning is very stressful and these feelings are normal. Just don’t let yourself get overwhelmed! You’ll be okay! My wedding is in 11 days and I am FREAKING out because I really don’t have any more time to procrastinate and forget the little things. You have plenty of time!

Post # 15
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MrsDrRose612:  I can totally empathize.  My wedding is exactly 4 months away as of tomorrow and I feel like I’m literally slowly being choked.  My savings account is at it’s LARGEST and it’s all for ONE DAY (or in my case, a weekend).  It’s not for my student loans or anything sensible like that….it’s all for this ONE event.  I’ve had many moments of thinking “we should just elope and use this money on ANYTHING else”.  I have been paralyzed with fear at the fact that this is probably the last time it will be “all about me” and this is basically a good-bye party to us because once the kids come (if any) it will be all about them and their needs.  I also feel extreme anxiety about spending all this time and money planning an event almost completely on my own and the possibility of it being a horrible experience for everyone.  I totally get ya!

What you should do is take a weekend and don’t so ANYTHING wedding related.  Go to a show, go to a casino, revisit your first date, do a mini “staycation”…whatever, just do something that brings it back to you and your Fiance and gets you a little destressed.  At the end of the day, you will have a beautiful wedding day to look back on filled with laughter, love and memories…this is just a bump along the road.  Good luck.

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