(Closed) Really great webpage outlining the Catholic ceremony!

posted 9 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Uh, if you’re priest is permitting you to write your own vows, see another priest.  That’s not allowed under canon law.  By The Way, the kiss is not a part of the rubrics of the Mass, but most priests permit it.

Post # 4
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Most Catholic churches in our area also have a "wedding guild" (or something like it) that will help you to "personalize" your ceremony as much as possible. Definitely a great resource!

Post # 5
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I had found that site awhile ago regarding a basic guideline. Which was usefull when we talked to our priest regarding the ceremony I felt that I was a bit more prepared.

Post # 6
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think it depends on what parish you are a part of (Re: Vows). I’ve seen some Catholic ceremonies that couples have said their own vows. The only way to really know what your parish expects/demands is to sit down with your priest.

Post # 8
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

You can ask for a wedding guide booklet at your church.  Ours is called "Together for Life" (I know, really creepy sounding  :).  It lays out every part of the ceremony and gives you options that have been approved for use in the US.  Also, I would ask your msgr just to be sure what your options are.  Our msgr is super hands off, but when we asked about how customized the ceremony could be, we found out in our parish we can only choose the readings, responsorial psalm, and prayers.  Everything else is standard and they won’t change it.

Post # 9
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

GaB, it is not uncommon for priests to work outside of their own authority.  Everything I’ve read says that you can’t change the vows.  Even my understanding of the sacrament would say that personalizing the vows would be as big of a no no as changing the words of consecration.

The key is that you want to enter a sacramentally valid marriage.  You don’t just want to go through the motions of it.  Marriage is not conferred on the couple by the priest.  The priest or deacon is the Catholic Church’s witnesses to the validity of the sacrament.  It is his responsiblity to ensure that the couple is validly entering a marriage.  If he’s not doing that, he’s not doing his job!  The sacrament of matrimony is conferred by each other, you marry each other.  And you marry each other through the giving of valid matrimonial consent.  Changing your vows could very well risk allowing a couple to redefine marriage and thus refrain from giving true matrimonial consent.  As such, in everything I’ve read and just looking at it logically, allowing the couple the freedom to change the vows would be a big no no.

The intention of the "red tap" is designed to motivate priests to do their job in forming you spiritually for reception of the sacrament, helping to ensure you are in fact receiving the sacrament, and disposing you to an openness to all the graces the sacrament offers you.  And it is to ensure that he is actually checking to make sure that you are eligible for marriage (you’re not already married, you haven’t made any vows to celebacy) and that the two of you do indeed seek to enter into marriage.  If priests were doing their job right, there wouldn’t be so much red tape.

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