Post # 16
Mimoza: oh I’m with you on that! Oh another wedding website I was having a very heated discussion that eventually I had to tap out. My wedding planning is going very well because I don’t rely on input for certain things. Less stressful! You’re going to get opinions from people you KNOW enough as it is. Then you let the internet weigh in with their opinions and you’ll end up in a psych ward before your wedding day.
Post # 17
sydneyfrancis88: I have to agree with you. People cancelling last minute is going to really upset me if it happens. That’s a relationship ending move for me if there isn’t a valid reason. Its so rude and inconsiderate. I could never do that to someone. I really want to have a no kids wedding, but Brother-In-Law just had a baby and it’s a touchy subject. Fiance wants to keep the peace. ugghhh.
secondtimecharm: That’s a great plan! 🙂 I wish we had decided to elope early on but I can’t lose all those deposits now.
ajillity81: Cousin’s 300 people at a wedding is a lot to me! I don’t even have 300 friends on Facebook. hahah. Glad to hear the Child-free wedding worked out tho!
skunktastic: We have a mix of good/bad family and friends. We’re really trying to stay true to ourselves but the outside pressure can be great sometimes!
weddingmaven: You are right, backlash is usually based on people’s feelings on the subject matter. I think most people place expectations onto others and it can cause friction. While there is no rule to invite all aunts/uncles, there is always the expectation. You know, “To keep things fair”
Mimoza: I’m relying on this wedding a lot as a guideline to wedding planning. It’s just too much at times. I really like that you’re finding it helpful for decor/schedule/etc. I’ve read so many emotional threads or Family threads. There will always be problems that will arise if you have difficult family/friends. I have a few but after the wedding things will balance itself out.
Post # 19
None of this is a double standard. It all comes down to ” don ‘t be a dick.” Invite someone’s partner because it is considerate of their feelings. Don’t exclude someone if you think it may be hurtful to them. Be considerate of your guests’ comfort and enjoyment, accept that you may have obligations to your family, and don’t act shitty if someone lets you know they aren’t able to join you. On the part of the guest, show up if you’ve said you’re going to show up, dont steal the centerpieces or puke in the decor, and bring a present. It’s not that hard.
Post # 20
ohhmaigosh: I’m so glad I found this. I was feeling this earlier. All the etiquette everyone throws out there makes me cringe. Especially since many people don’t understand individual situations (example in smaller towns people are more likely to inner date. Can anyone say they’d truly be comfortable if their Future Brother-In-Law or Future Sister-In-Law had an SO that was their ex? I know most people would say let bygones be bygones, but if say my Future Sister-In-Law was dating my ex (weirder things have happened) I would not want him at my wedding (I’d also be concerned if she was dating him… another story) but then some people are great friends with their ex and it’s no big deal. There are so many reasons why someone may not be welcome for personal reasons. Should a bride/groom be required to have someone they are uncomfortable around be invited? No. But I guess that’s what happens when we ask advice of people who don’t know us and our specific situations. Same with kids. I’ve seen several posts about only writing those invited on the envelope and saying “2 seats will be reserved for you”. But what happens if the person in question will use that seat for their kid? I’m sure we all know or know of someone who would do that. Sometimes I hate asking a question because I feel like when the big day comes all these bee police will be checking to see if I’m following protocol.
Post # 21
futuremrsc2016: Thank you! I feel frustrated at all the etiquette that gets thrown at me.
I know the plus one is something most people feel very strongly about. Even on this thread, people have opinions on whether my FI’s cousin with the multiple girlfriends still deserves a plus one. I’m leaning towards not giving him an invite. He’s a bar star and I just don’t know what kind of mess will show up as a plus one.
What you say about the smaller towns is very true. Everyone is even more connected and these etiquette issues become far more sensitive (word also travels faster!). Good luck with your wedding!