(Closed) Really hate the double standards!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Mimoza:  oh I’m with you on that!  Oh another wedding website I was having a very heated discussion that eventually I had to tap out.  My wedding planning is going very well because I don’t rely on input for certain things.  Less stressful!  You’re going to get opinions from people you KNOW enough as it is.  Then you let the internet weigh in with their opinions and you’ll end up in a psych ward before your wedding day.

Post # 19
Member
7448 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

None of this is a double standard. It all comes down to ” don ‘t be a dick.” Invite someone’s partner because it is considerate of their feelings. Don’t exclude someone if you think it may be hurtful to them.  Be considerate of your guests’ comfort and enjoyment, accept that you may have obligations to your family, and don’t act shitty if someone lets you know they aren’t able to join you. On the part of the guest, show up if you’ve said you’re going to show up, dont steal the centerpieces or puke in the decor, and bring a present. It’s not that hard. 

Post # 20
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

ohhmaigosh:  I’m so glad I found this. I was feeling this earlier. All the etiquette everyone throws out there makes me cringe. Especially since many people don’t understand individual situations (example in smaller towns people are more likely to inner date. Can anyone say they’d truly be comfortable if their Future Brother-In-Law or Future Sister-In-Law had an SO that was their ex? I know most people would say let bygones be bygones, but if say my Future Sister-In-Law was dating my ex (weirder things have happened) I would not want him at my wedding (I’d also be concerned if she was dating him… another story) but then some people are great friends with their ex and it’s no big deal. There are so many reasons why someone may not be welcome for personal reasons. Should a bride/groom be required to have someone they are uncomfortable around be invited? No. But I guess that’s what happens when we ask advice of people who don’t know us and our specific situations. Same with kids. I’ve seen several posts about only writing those invited on the envelope and saying “2 seats will be reserved for you”. But what happens if the person in question will use that seat for their kid? I’m sure we all know or know of someone who would do that. Sometimes I hate asking a question because I feel like when the big day comes all these bee police will be checking to see if I’m following protocol. 

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