Post # 1
I’ve been really looking forward to my bridal shower for months- I am only having one shower, and we didn’t have an engagement party or any other wedding related family/friend events. My wedding is in February 2nd and my sister is throwing my shower three months early (this saturday) specifically so that it doesn’t interfere with anybody’s holiday plans. The shower is being thrown by my sister-MOH without any help from my bridesmaids… or my mom or my Mother-In-Law… which has been hard to swallow as is, but I’ve just tried to remain really positive and not let that get me down about this special day! Today at work I have received 10. YES 10! Text messages/calls from guests who “suddenly aren’t going to be able to make it.” I feel really sad… and let down I guess.
On top of all the cancellations, one of my bridesmaids hasn’t even RSVP’d or mentioned the shower once. I haven’t called her out on it because I absolutely refuse to force her into something she doesnt want to do. And if she doesn’t want to be a part of my wedding then why on earth would I try to MAKE HER? She’s a former wedding planner and DEF knows all of the ettiquitte. and although I am feeling really alone and stressed without the help or my BM’s I care about them and I don’t want to stress them out. We’ve been friends since 4th grade. My fiance and I started dating when we were 14, (25 now) so all of the BM’s have been along my entire 11 year relationship and they know how much this wedding means to me. I have not asked ONE single thing from my bridesmaids except my first request which is to attend a bridesmaid dress shopping trip on friday night, and the shower on saturday. That will be IT until the wedding.
So I guess, Im not really looking for any advice- Maybe I have just had really unreal expectations of what the bridal shower should be like from movie depictions. In my dreams, my mom and Mother-In-Law would be really excited and planning the event with my Maid/Matron of Honor, and the women in my life would be excited and happy to come and show their support and encouragement for my new married life…we would all have a great time and celebrate my WEDDING. I have not asked ONE single thing from my bridesmaids except my first request which is to attend a bridesmaid dress shopping trip on friday night, and the shower on saturday. That will be IT until the wedding.
Anybody else have anything something similar… or anything to offer up?
Post # 3
Don’t have much advice but I would feel the exact same if I were in your situation. It really sucks when things like this happens. I hope things turn around and you have an amazing shower!
Post # 4
@Misswa2011: it sucks when people cancel things – its so disappointing
but, life gets in the way sometimes and people have4 to change plans. you just need to enjoy it with the people who can make it. i hope its fun anyway =(
Post # 5
Many people find bridal showers and baby shower quite boring. It’s no fun to sit around while the bride to be opens presents you bought her. Most people will still send a gift if they don’t attend the shower, and if your Bridesmaid or Best Man can’t make it, then your Bridesmaid or Best Man can’t make it and you should try to be understanding.
Maybe she hasn’t RSVP’d because she just assumed it was a given that she would be there? Or maybe she hasn’t found out yet that she can attend, you won’t know unless you talk to her.
Bridal showers are not all they are cracked up to be, try to not expect life to resemble movies and you will be less disappointed when it doesn’t.
Post # 6
I’m not sure if this is the case, but I was told the mom/MIL weren’t supposed to throw or help with the shower. Maybe this is the case? I know mine did a little bit–mainly because I had a couple different ones and I don’t think the hosts knew who to invite, etc. without them.
I’m a lot like you; my BMs don’t really have to do anything but show up to the wedding. I was anxious about my shower(s) and was beyond humbled and surprised for the excitement towards the wedding on that day. I wouldn’t stress about it beforehand, and just enjoy your special time with the people who are able to make it. (My Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t able to attend mine, but at the end of the day life happens and I was so humbled by those who could) I hope you have a wonderful time!
Post # 7
I think you might be acting a little passive aggressive. I totally understand: you don’t want to be a bother to people. And more than that, you know you deserve to have people make a fuss over you without having to ask (you really do!).
Unfortunately, people tend to be a little self-absorbed and forgetful. You really need to make your expectations, your wants, your desires known. If you are the first of these girls to get married, they might not really understand what is expected.