Post # 1
Okay. Please, please help me, because trying to figure this out makes my brain all mushy. I’ll try to make it simple:
I have a mother and a stepfather who are contributing financially, but we’re paying for most of it.
I have a father and his perhaps wife? (I don’t know, he won’t tell me! I ask him if he’s married, and he says “well, I don’t know! Seriously, wtf) who are not contributing, or even attending.
He has two parents, his Mom and Dad are married to each other. Thank GOD.
So, my question is:
How to word? If I include his parents, my mother will be offended (she’s old-school, and thinks that you don’t go on unless you pay.) She would also be offended if I include my Dad. And, if I do that, do I include the maybe wife?
Fiance doesn’t think it’s fair to have any parents on there, and not his.
I’m leaning toward mentioning no parents? But that would open up a whole other argument…with my mother.
Any ideas here?
Post # 3
Together with their families
Post # 4
Yeah, I would also go with the “Together with their families.”
I am including both sets of parents and my deceased father, so it will be worded like this:
With joyful hearts
Mr. and Mrs. Blahblahblah
and the late Mr. Blah
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
son of Mr. and Mrs. Blahblah
However, my parents are paying for more than half of the wedding, and my fiance’s parents are hosting the rehersal dinner and contributing to (hopefully hosting) the bar tab. Since my parents are paying for most of the wedding, I thought it was important to acknowledge them on the card. And I didn’t want to leave my FIL’s out, so I included them as well.
Post # 4
Stepfather & Mom
invite you to the wedding of
son of His Dad & Mom
If your dad would be offended by not being on there I’d worry about a different wording but if he’s not even coming he really doesn’t need to be mentioned. And saying “son of” will make it clear that they aren’t inviting/paying.
ETA I didn’t see that you two were paying for most of it. In that case I’d go the “together with their families You and Him invite” route if you feel better about it. If you mom has a problem with that ask her what her solution would be and let her see how tricky she’s makign it.
Post # 5
I agree together with their families, and risk the argument with mom. This way everybody is included. At the end of the day, it is your wedding, so word the invite how you and your FH want. I like the included feel regardless of who contributes. Here’s what we did:
OTB and OTB’s FH
invite you blah, blah, blah
along with their parents Mr and Mrs OTB’s Parents
Ms. FH’s Mom (even though she’s remarried, we did not include her husband, as he played minimal role in my husbands life.)
Mr FH’s Dad
Post # 6
@Papercrane: I like that one, the “together with their families” is like a slap in the face to my Mom. Dramatic, yes, but it is what it is.
Will he be offended? I don’t know. It is a distinct possibility /sigh.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
“Together with their families” is probably safest. Looks like, with your situation, *someone* is going to be angry no matter what. Just remember that you can’t possibly please them all, so do what sounds good to you and whoever is mad will get over it.
In my situation, I just used “tradition” as a defense for everything. If people couldn’t agree, I went old school because I figured that way either they couldn’t argue, or they could and I could say, “well, nothing I could do about it!”