- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I think I need help snapping back into reality and calming down..
Over the last few months I’ve become really jealous of one of my husband’s colleagues. Her desk is right next to his at work, so naturally they talk a lot. She occasionally texts him something when he’s at home..usually something work related, but always full of smiley faces and personal touches and very friendly (too friendly for my liking). However my husband’s never given me any reason to be jealous.. He usually writes back something short and professional (if he writes back at all) and the one time she texted him something completely non work-related about a party that he missed (along the lines of ”Hey, you should have come to that party last night, it was awesome.. hope you can make it next time : – )”) I don’t think he even replied. He makes no effort to hide his phone and although I don’t actively go through his phone, we lend each other each other’s phones often, so I sometimes see texts pop-up.
For some reason I just don’t like her.. mainly because from his descriptions of her she sounds a lot like me and because she seems too ”helpful” to him all the time. She sounds very friendly and outgoing, bubbly, organized, emotionally supportive.. basically exactly the same kind of person as me.. I think that’s why I feel threatened by her. Also my husband talks about her fairly often (again, they work together, so I guess that’s normal) and it’s always to say that she did something well, knew the answer to something, brought cakes to work, did something nice… etc. Sometimes it makes my blood boil 🙁 I’m quite a jealous person.
As I said, my husband’s never given me a reason to be jelaous, he doesn’t go out with her (or anyone from work for that matter) anywhere after work, doesn’t text her anything inappropriate or anything like that, but I just hate the fact that he spends all day every day working with another woman who’s friendly and ”lovely” to him and rubs me up the wrong way.
I’ve tried mentionning my feelings to my husband and he laughed and told me that she was the last person on earth he’d ever be interested in, that she’s overweight and not very pretty and that in any case he would never cheat on me with anyone.
So why can’t my brain let it go? The issue here is my insecurity right, not her? Or even if she was a b*tch and was trying to hit on him, if he’s not interested I don’t need to care.. I need to be able to let this go, because the last thing I want is for my husband to think I’m an insanely jealous person and/or turn it into a self-fullfilling prophecy. Also if I”m spending the rest of my life with my husband I can hardly prevent him from having friends of the opposite sex.. it wouldn’t be fair (especially cos I have a bunch of male friends and am in contact with all of my ex’s and it would be completely ‘double-standards’ and horrible of me to limit him in any way).
I just need a couple of comments from outsiders reminding me that I need to trust him, I think 🙂 But it’s just so hard when you don’t like someone and feel threatened by them, to let it go.
Maybe I need to meet her? I’ve never actually met her… I think knowing her might actually help a lot..