(Closed) Really just done with my in-laws!

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
3458 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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bee123456789 :  ditto what 
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plannerbear520 said.  And bring cash so that there’s no room for arguing or guilt trips. It’ll simply be “oh, sorry. We just brought enough for ourselves.” I’m petty, so I’d throw in a “oh, had we known we were expected to pay for other people’s meals, we would have recommended someplace much less expensive.”

 

Post # 19
Member
2801 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Don’t let your SIL in when she appears at your door.  Don’t even open the door; either ignore her completely (can you disconnect your doorbell?) or go and yell through the door that it’s a bad time and she can’t come in.  Also you might find some useful info over at the DWIL boards at the babycenter website.

Post # 20
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

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bee123456789 :  I was raised the same way… cheeses in the fridge and a guest towel at the ready! Over time, I learned it matters Way more to simply pay attention to your guests than having snacks on command or a spotless house. Further, you don’t owe a drop of hospitality to people who won’t extend the same courtesy to you. Do unto others is literally the rule of etiquette!

I thought over what I said earlier and suggest you invent a financial goal instead, “sorry, we’d pay for your meal but we’re saving for [a baby/a boat/a bigger home/a box suite in the stadium!]. This should be your go-to excuse whenever money comes up. After all, as financial consultants they should surely understand following a strict budget to meet one’s goals!! 😉

Post # 21
Member
1162 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

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bee123456789 :  We met at a restaurant halfway between our homes, about 3 hours one way each. DH dropped $250 on lunch and we walked to the parking lot and I told grandson to get his bag from his mom’s car.  She said he didn’t bring anything, don’t ask.  I was like what do you mean don’t ask?  She said he left everything at his dad’s cause he wants to live with his dad.  We had to spend $500 on clothes. 

He’s now living with his dad. 

Post # 23
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Vacation and a sick kitty (get well soon!) are good plans. There’s always something in life, so I’m sure you won’t have trouble sticking to your “budget” going forward. 

I’m so sorry for your husband, that is really really hard :(. My best friend’s family are emotionally abusive and one is a Narcissist, it was the hardest thing in the world for me to tell her, “your family isn’t capable of loving you like you need. You have to walk away so you don’t sink with their ship.” Deep down she already knew this and it helped alot to hear it from someone who  cares. You’re right to not want to get involved, just keep supporting him and agreeing that you see the favoritism, it’s not in his head, and his care and affection is not reciprocated. One day he’ll be ready to set boundaries for his and your protection. 

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