- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
This is a bit of a vent and am in need of encouragement and guidance please :/
My maids of honor are my older sister and younger sister. My finace decided to host a get-together by having a pool party, cooking on the BBQ, and letting us all play in the pool (it’s hot over here in Southern CA). I’m not very fond of my older sister’s boyfriend–a long story, but I feel bad since he has lots of family issues and problems. We can all relate to him, and my fiance and I were trying to be nice and get to know him better. So, we felt he would really appreciate it. And he did…
But I have to tell you my fiance does not drink–his family has a history of alcoholics and he has seen people make terrible choices that has terribly affected their lives. It is a highly personal choice and he just isn’t interested. I am the same way and do not drink for similar reasons. However, my sister drinks occassionaly and her boyfriend drinks more than her at times. That is their choice, I respect it and I don’t have a problem with it.
Her boyfriend left the dinner party and went off to get “a surprise” from the store. It was rude if you ask me. He ended up mixing vodka with beer and they tried to pressure my fiance and me to drink it. We tasted it out of pressure and trying to be soemwhat polite, but said no thank you. Then they got kind of upset and took it quite personal when my fiance said, “No, I’m perfectly happy. But thank you.” My sister’s boyfriend said, “Drinking doesn’t make me happy. It just makes me come out of my shell.” Ugh, my fiance wasn’t trying to insult him! Doesn’t he get that?
WHEN SOMEONE SAYS NO, JUST STOP ASKING. We are adults here, and I feel that it was VERY rude of them to even bring alcohol to his parents’ home (his family members have problems with abusing alcohol anyway).I’m upset because my older sister gets upset often when people don’t agree with her–and she’s my maid of honor! All I know is that we don’t plan on having anymore BBQ pool parties for a while until we make it clear we don’t want to drink and it’s inappropriate to bring it to someone else’s house without even asking, especially when people have a problem abusing it or if they don’t even want to drink.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? I’m very angry about it and my fiance is too. I really don’t like spending time with my sister’s boyfriend because we have totally different perspectives, beliefs, and morals. I care about them and respect them, but it’s ahrd to enjoy time with them when they try to pressure you to do things you simply don’t care for. When someone says no, all I wish they did was respect that and move on. It just seems immature to pressure an adult to do something they don’t want to do (felt like middle school/high school all over again).
How can I tell them nicely to not to that again? Advice? Encouragement? HELP! 🙁