ky89 : sorry I might sound a bit harsh but I think you need it. I agree with other PPs that you guys don’t sound compatible especially the sexual part.
My thoughts would be from the religious and my personal perspectives. Might be different from what others said but ultimately we mean well.
I’m religious and my fiancé is not but since we decided we’d wait till marriage, we don’t even talk about sex. We do hugs, cuddle and kiss but he said he respects my desire to wait so we don’t go there. No phone sex, pictorial or verbal description of sexual acts to each other, or vulgar words etc… We have a lifetime to explore after wedding. So I’m not impressed what you gave volun-told request your gf must do to keep this relationship. I guess it’d have made her feel dirty everytime she did what you wanted.
First, go get help about your issue with pornography!! Like right now. She’s right to leave and not turn back. Your use of porn objectifies women. Aka your brain thinks she’s an object, a sexual object. Though you might claim it’s not how you think. You said you love her, won’t touch her bla bla bla.. but what she saw is that you request for sexual acts even before marriage. And while dating you were already objectifying her to help you achieve what you need via phone. After engagement you were expecting her to do more.. err… Why???! You said you’re waiting, then why push the boundaries??! Unless you fix your addiction to porn, I doubt she’d want to be near you, given the fact you claim you both are religious. You said you’d wait for sex due to religious reason. But the truth is.. you’re never waiting. And you don’t have the desire to wait. All that you did to her and with her are not actions that you’re waiting at all. You’re just doing other sexual acts that don’t involve penetration.
The last time a man pulled out the Christian courtship book to impress me but then acted very un-Christian, he ended up in the exes cluster. What did he do? He told me he would like to follow this Christian courtship book but two days later… trying to get me to kiss him, telling lies to me and people around us, criticising my country, my choice of friends, bitching about his exes, all during the initial dating phase, so I dumped him. Why should I date a man who pretends he’s Christian but acts like any other jerks??!? I’d rather date a non-Christian man who acts respectfully, and perhaps adopts Christian values more than anyone else. I deserve better than that. He could and did find someone who is willing be treated the way he treated me. So we’re all happy.
If you want her back (or not), sort out your issue with sex and porn. My male friends with these issues usually go through counseling to ensure this doesn’t cause more troubles during marriage. When you marry a woman, you marry a person not a sexual object. She’s not a toy you get during Christmas to play with.
Grow up, young man. If you want her back in your life, sort your life out first. Porn is not real. Women are not sexual objects.