Post # 1
Ok so my Fiance and I are both broke. Like really broke. My mother and father planned on paying for the wedding- but we had a VERY strict budget (understandably, they we having money issues too) of 500-1000 dollars. This sounds unthinkable, but we were making it work. We were so very grateful for their contributions.
So now we are 3 months from the wedding, and it is about half way paid for. I can’t find a job, we can’t change the date because everything has been booked and paid, and I don’t want to lose their money that they have already paid. Here is the issue:
My mom lost her job on Monday. She was laid off. This was HORRIBLE for my family- as my dad’s business has not been doing well and her 50k a year was what was keeping us afloat. I’m just worried because my baby sister is still in highschool, and obviously they have to worry about keeping her OK without any income.
Naturally, we will not ask them to pay another dime towards the wedding. I feel awful as it is for even having it at this time. However, as I said before….I have no idea how my Fiance and I are going to pay for the rest of it. Except for 2 ideas:
1) We could get legally married this month, and then we would be able to apply for financial aid through our schools. As of right now, all of our (FI’s) earned money is going towards tuition, rent and books( We are finishing up school). If we get married, we will be able to qualify for aid that will help us pay for the school related stuff, and his income from his job would be able to go towards the rest of the wedding. We would have the traditional wedding still in November.
2) I can take out a loan just to pay for the rest of the wedding. I have made it through school without ANY debt and would hate to do this. I have worked very hard for my scholarships to help me get through school. And I do not live luxuriously by any means.
My question is…..what do I do!? Which is the most logical choice? I am in desperate need of advice. Please help me bees…
Post # 3
this may be incredibly ignorant on my part, but how does getting married qualify you for more financial aid?
Post # 4
I voted to take the loan (as it’d be a small one of 500 or so, right?). If you don’t have any debt at all from school, 500-1K is really a pretty low debt to have.
But, would it be at all possible to pick up a waitressing gig one or two nights a week? You could easily make the 500 in 3 months, even at a low-tipping location. Some small part-time job like that could generally bring in this amount of money, even if it’s only 1 or 2 nights a week. 11 shifts at just a plain min. wage job should bring in the $500 needed. Hotel desk job at night is a good time to do homework/study but still get paid. I’d explore your options.
Post # 5
Ouch, that sucks. My mom lost her job the day after my wedding so I can sympathize. If it were me, I would get legally married now and get the aid. I don’t see the point into going into debt when you can avoid and it would be beneficial in the long run.
Post # 6
now, back to your question, i would do Option 3- postpone the wedding until you can save up a little more. talk to your vendors, explain the situation, and see if they’d be willing to apply your deposits to a new date. however, with a budget of $500 for the entire wedding, i can’t imagine you have too many vendors, so you may not even need to talk to anyone…just postpone!
Post # 7
@NeedOpinion: I’m a graduate student, also doing the whole finishing school and paying for a wedding thing, so I feel your pain. It’s tough.
You didn’t say whether the financial aid from your school is in the form of grants or loans. Assuming it would be a bit of both, I think that getting married just to get the student aid is a much bigger deal/hassle than just taking out a short-term loan to pay for the wedding. Normally, like most people, I wouldn’t advise taking on debt for a wedding, but you say you have managed to make it through school debt-free, that you are frugal, and that your wedding budget is modest, so the loan would not be so large that you would have trouble paying it off.
In the long run, you will have only taken on some short-term debt to finance the wedding, while still being able to get married in the way you originally planned. And you have a good reason: you mom losing her job isn’t something you could have planned for.
Whatever you decide, good luck!
Post # 8
A friend of mine ended up having to postpone her wedding. She talked to all her vendors that she had already paid and even though they would not refund her the money, they did allow her to postpone the date a full year and just applied what she had paid towards the new date.
This may be an option for you. I would talk to your vendors. See if this is an option. That way you dont “lose” any money but you now have a full year to save up and prepare for it without going into debt over it.
Also, it would probably really relieve your parents since I am sure they are feeling guilty and heartbroken they cant help you now.
Post # 9
@Mrs. Meowerson: Since we are under 24, we are considered “dependent” to the government…even though neither of us get help from our parents. And if your family makes over 20,000 a year then you can’t get financial aid. The only way you’re considered an independent is if you’re over 24, married, or your parents died. It’s fine to ask, I had no idea about all of this either.
Post # 10
I mean most people go to the courthouse a few days or weeks before and get the legal aspect of the marriage licence done anyways, I don’t think it would matter much if you do it now.
The loan isn’t that much money, so that is reasonable.
Its up to you and your Fiance !
Post # 11
@NeedOpinion: I assume that you mean 200,000 instead of 20,000? My parents made over 50k, and I got a lot of financial aid in college. One thing you might want to look into is talking to your college’s financial aid office and notifying them about your mom’s job loss. Sometimes those types of extenuating circumstances can affect your financial aid package.
Personally, if the loan were only going to be 500 dollars (half of your max budget) and I had no other debt, I would take out a small loan.
Post # 12
@bunnees: Nope. After the new government election and in my state/at my school- it is 20,000 dollars. Which sucks. They’re making it very difficult for a lot of people who really need it to get aid.
Thanks for everyone’s advice so far. I have no idea what we’re going to do still. My Fiance wants to get married earlier, mainly because he is just extremely excited to get married, and he doesn’t want me to have to take on debt of any amount if I do not need it.
I feel so awful for my mom…she was just 2 years away from retirement, and they just ripped it out from under her. I know how much they’re looking forward to the wedding this November. I don’t want to cancel it or postpone it…
Post # 13
@indibee: I’ve been applying for jobs for awhile… I would love a waitressing job, but my town has almost 100,000 students all looking for jobs that can be flexible with their school schedule (just like me), so no one is hiring 🙁
Post # 14
I feel you on the financial aid. Next year, I turn 25 and we get married, so I am so excited. I have been filing taxes as an independent for four years, but that doesn’t matter on the FAFSA and I think it should. Also, my dad passed away four years ago, but I was told because of how much my mom’s net worth is, I don’t qualify for anything. I feel like I’ve been punished for not having a baby or getting married before I am ready….I mean I understand why single mothers get assistance, but it still feels a bit like that sometimes.
I think that you could wait the three months and get the loan. Pay it back as fast as you can. Sounds like you are very determined, so I am sure you can do this!!
Post # 15
I agree with Shiner! You sound like you are very good with your money and are determined! You could pay back the small loan in no time.
As for school, I’m in the same situation! My parents have 3 of their children in school & me & my brother do not get any grants! Which is really ridiculous! (my sister gets aid because she has a baby, so she doesn’t have to include my parents income). Next March I’m going to turn 24 & I’m getting married in April. lol soo, I guess it’s a win-win?! I will have 1 year left of school by next year, but getting aid for 1 year is better than none.
Post # 16
I would take out a signature loan for the rest of the amount, not more than what you were already planning, but you could probably get one and the payments wouldn’t be too much on $500