(Closed) REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE! –

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

OMG, no. I cant even believe that if you were an important person to her she would treat you like that! thats reallly rude of her. Anyone that I ask to be part of my wedding party i actually am prepared to foot the bill since I am asking this of them. So far it hasnt been needed but to be uninvited b/c of that? cut your losses girl. I can be a bridezilla at times, but never a witch to my friends.

Post # 3
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

No bride should make their Bridesmaids broke. Sorry you’re going through this.

Post # 4
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You are in the right. 

A bride should never do that to her bridal party. I cant imagine her being a very good friend if she doesn’t understand the situation. 

 

Post # 5
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Two of my BMs arestill  in college and do not have much money. I am buying their jewelry, dresses and bouquets. They are doing their own hair and make-up. The only money they have to spend is gas to get to the ceremony.

 

It totally BITES what your friend has done!

Post # 6
Member
7694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m very sorry.  The real reason to ask people to be in your wedding party, is so they can decide if it is something they can take on.  So I empathize with you!  You are being truthful, and the bride to be appears to be taking it personally at the very least. Perhaps you can put something in writing, about how you would love to continue to be in the wedding party, but at this time, you don’t think you can swing the cost of X, Y & Z.  Maybe she will understand with it being written?

Post # 7
Member
902 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

What exactly is she wanting you to do that is so expensive?  I thought bridesmaid just buy the dress and show up presentable?

I mean is she one of them picky brides that want you to buy “this” jewelry, “these” shoes, get your hair done “this way”, and stuff like that?

Uninviting you to her wedding just because you can’t keep up with her high maintenance is very rude of her.  And if I was in your shoes I wouldn’t want to go to her wedding after being treated like that.  But that’s just me

Post # 8
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

While I was in college my friend asked me to be her bridesmaid.  She also moved to texas.  I told her it was too much and I just couldnt afford it since I had to fly too.   She understood. 

You were not rude one bit

Post # 9
Member
46333 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You did the RIGHT thing by asking to step down if she was continually making demands that you couldn’t afford.

She did the WRONG thing by telling you she doesn’t want you at the wedding.

This is a “FRIEND” you don’t need.

Post # 10
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You’ve done nothing wrong, dear. She should have been more considerate of your situation.

Post # 11
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Shans16:  You didn’t do anything wrong. Good of you to be upfront with her, to be in communication with her regularly about your needs in a timely manner so that she could either help you or make other arrangements. It is almost as though she purposely was trying to squeeze you out of the bridal party by ignoring your needs, hoping you would ask to step down so she’d have an excuse to boot you out of the wedding altogether. Blech. That is really a shame but you did the right thing. I’m curious to know what her monetary demands were of you as a bridesmaid.

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