Post # 1
night. Now I am not a control freak… he is gone playing soccer in a tournie this weekend but really it is all about drinking and not about winning the tournie. I told him that I don’t care what he does… just as long as he checks in when he gets back to his hotel room at the end of the night. Anyways, last night I didn’t hear anything. Am I overreacting or would anyone else be PO’ed? I just think 1) a married man shouldnt be out to the clubs drinking so much that he gets super drunk and 2) if he doesnt think about me when he drinks then god only knows what else he gets into.
We have been married a year… together about 7 off and on. Also, another thing is he actually made me order my own anniversary present before he left… even though I gave him major hints he said he didnt know how to order it online and to take his credit card and do it. Happy anniversary to me.
Post # 3
I honestly would let this one go. It was a drunk guy’s night, he probably just forgot.
Yes, it sucks, but you gotta pick your battles and I personally wouldn’t chose to fight this one.
Post # 4
Just text him and ask if everything is ok, if he says everything is fine I would just let it go
Post # 6
Agreed. I’d let it go. If you think you feel up to mentioning it in a non-angry way later on, I might try that. Is this the first time that the situation has come where he has the opportunity to follow or not follow your request for a check-in? If he’s checked in with you before with no problem, he probably just forgot.
Post # 7
Let it go for now.
If you want to talk about it when he’s home, you can do it, but do it calmly.
Frame it around, “I was worried about you and wanted to make sure you got back to the hotel safely” rather than “I was worried you were out doing unsavory things.”
As for the anniversary present, I don’t really see what that has to do with him not calling last night.
Don’t look for other things to be angry at him for. It seems like you want to pick a fight.
Take a step back, relax about last night, you can text him today if you want to make sure he’s ok. But don’t bring other issues into this too.
Post # 8
This has happened to both of us – we ask that we text each other at the end of the night when we are out w/o each other – but I & he have both just forgotten, phone died, etc.
Casually mention something about it when he gets home – but don’t get mad/upset. Like another post said, pick your battles!
Post # 9
I would be mad I’m not gonna lie.. but you have to pick your battles.
Post # 10
Chances are if the weekend is all about drinking – he passed out and forgot to call. I’d let it go – it’s not really worth the arguement.
My husband (before he was my husband) was in Cuba playing a show on NYE – I was working at a bar. He called me multiple times when he thought I’d be home but I missed his calls because the bar got shut down 3 hours early and I was home asleep with my phone in the living room.
He was pissed and freaked out – but it was all for nothing, so don’t be too quick to get upset at him.
Post # 11
I’d totally let this one go. Either he was drunk and forgot or got back really late and probably thought he didn’t want to wake you up. No offense but I don’t think a man should have to check in every night with his wife. Let him have one boys weekend.
Post # 12
Let it go – a grown man shouldn’t HAVE to check in with his wife (especially when he is on a guys weekend).
Plus – if the weekend is really all about drinking – I’m sure he just was drunk, passed out, and forgot about it. And there is nothing wrong with a married man doing that so long is he is responsible – which you have no reason to believe he wasn’t.
I agree with the PPs that you sound like you’re trying to pick a fight over nothing.
Post # 13
Thanks ladies! I was just a bit miffed this morning… Could have had something to do with his beloved golden retriever taking a huge #2 right in the middle of my new cream color rug! lol. Thanks for calming me down… cause I would have went nuts on him if he had of called this morning.
Post # 14
I totally understand how you are feeling and why you wanted him to call… BUT – that said, I think you should let this one slide. It’s healthy for a guy to get away with his buddies and I wouldn’t put more weight on it than that. He needs to feel like he has the freedom to do that, without having to ‘check in’.
Also – sorry about the anniversary present 🙁 Totally sucks but at least you are getting what you want! My Darling Husband isn’t so good at presents most of the time while I’m super good at it… so the disparity is obvious. I’ve come to terms that present buying and surprises will almost never be his strength (at least in the frequency that I want them to be) so as long as I am getting what I need (and make that known to him) it’s a compromise I can live with.
Hang in there – I’m sure you’ll hear from him soon!! (Don’t give him a hard time about not calling – just tell him you were worried about him and leave it at that.)
Post # 15
I agree let it go; it’s very minor in the grand scheme of things; hubby has to leave me every 90 days and I know he sometimes goes out with friends in another country, but I trust him he trusts me, I hang out with my girlfriends while he’s away; but we always have a lot of trust in each other; would have never survived our long distance relationship if we didnt; there are going to be even tougher even heavier issues in the future so just pick your battles