Really need some advice please

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee

Heh, the kicker is he isn’t even the type of guy who can take a no, so he’s not only a cheater, he’s a creep.

This is definitely the first story I’ve heard where the other woman wasn’t even interested and had been continually rejecting him. 

Post # 17
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee

He’s doing everything he can to break up with you without actually breaking up with you. Actions speak louder than words. Sure he’s told you he wanted to settle down with you in the past but what has he shown you? That in 9 years he can’t commit, texts other girls and is cold towards you. There’s your answer.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this but I promise you things will get better if you leave him! 

Post # 18
Member
2542 posts
Sugar bee

So, by staying you’re teaching your kids this is how you treat a woman, the mother of his children, and you’re okay with that?

Leave. For yourself and for the kids. 

Post # 19
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

Alcoholism only gets worse. My aunt stuck around for 20 years and raised 5 kids with an alcoholic. He lied, stole, cheated and abused her and the children. Many of the awful things he did to the kids she didn’t know until years later as he had told them he would kill them if they told. She is now 60 and lost her home, her car, all her retirement and every cent she had saved during the divorce and his pre divorce irresponsible spending. 

She regrets wasting her life. Her children are emotionally damaged and struggle themselves. Don’t be her. 

Post # 20
Member
518 posts
Busy bee

So sorry you are going through this. Please don’t just accept it/deal with it because of the kids. This is not an example of a healthy happy relationship for your children. You would have a much calmer more peaceful life without him and one day you will find a man who cherishes you and treats you as he should. You really need to be strong and not accept less than you deserve x

Post # 21
Member
21 posts
Newbee

For so many reasons you need to leave and find a healthy, stable living environment for yourself and your kids. Even if this man was 100% faithful to you, he still has a substance abuse issue. Your kids don’t deserve to live in a home where daddy is drunk all the time. Even if they don’t realize what’s going on now (and it’s very possible they already do), they eventually will. People who are under the influence of alcohol or drugs are not capable of being good parents because they are incapacitated and cannot be trusted to do even the most basic task, which is to keep your children out of harm. In fact, they ARE the harm.

Additionally, your kids are watching your relationship with their father and forming their idea of what love is based on what’s going on around them. Would you want a son of yours treating the mother of his children the way your boyfriend treats you? Would you want a daughter of yours accepting that kind of treatment from a man? 

Your children come first. Your dysfunctional relationship with their father shouldn’t even rank in the top 10 priorities in your life because he’s not capable of being a worthy father or boyfriend until he commits to seeking treatment for his addiction and getting sober for good.

Post # 22
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

The only way he’ll ever regret you leaving is if you never accept him back and you ensure your life is happier/fuller/more stable than his. There’s a reason this quote stands true “the best revenge is a life well lived”

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