(Closed) Really need some advice please

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@RiverBride13:  in general if you question if it’s time to get out, it’s either time to get out or times to make some changes. 

Post # 4
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Is it a recurring fight? 

Post # 5
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If its violent, or threatening. If its making you afraid for your wellbeing (mental or physical.) I think since you are asking, it is probably time to get out.

Post # 7
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@sheepandbear:  Agreed.

And if your partner calls you names, is mean to you during fights, etc, then that’s not okay. If you’re scared of him, regardless of whether he’s violent or not. If you feel disrespected by him, etc.

Post # 8
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@RiverBride13:  So he’s needy and doesn’t trust you?  It’s time to have a serious conversation about what the underlying issues are (has he been cheated on before?) and what you can do to help him be more comfortable with you having a life outside the relationship (and telling him he should have a life outside the relationship).

To me, the difference between “just a fight” and “time to get out” depends on what the fight is about – can it be fixed or is this something that cannot be changed?  If it’s something that cannot be changed, can I change to accept it?  If not, then it’s time to get out. 

Post # 9
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@RiverBride13:  That sounds controlling to me. There is no way I could live the rest of my life dealing with that. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

Post # 11
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@RiverBride13:  You are an adult and if he doesn’t trust you it will not work! Trust is so so so so important. You do not have to worry about getting the silent treatment everytime you spend too much time with your friends. I dated somebody for 4 years who would barrade me for being 10 minutes late to something casual and not trust where I was. I gave him 4 years to show him I was trustworthy and to help him get over his issues. He never did and I felt so smothered. He eventually didn’t want me to work or be away ever because he was too afraid of me leaving him. His mom cheated on his dad and so did his dad’s future wives so he thought he would try and control me to make sure that didn’t happen to him. Well, I didn’t cheat ever, but it was pretty much a self fullfilling profecy. Your partner better get his insecurities in check and trust you, and if you don’t see any signs of this I would move on.

The topic ‘Really need some advice please’ is closed to new replies.

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