Post # 1
I’m sitting in our apartment rental right now crying and I can’t stop. I probably would not be posting this to the bee except I’m stuck in a foreign country right now with no way to communicate with anyone except by internet. And I feel totally alone.
My Darling Husband and I just got married on Wednesday after years of being together. He planned this amazing 2 week honeymoon in Europe for us but it has been a complete NIGHTMARE from the minute we left. We spent almost 48 hrs waiting in several airports before we ever caught our flight out here. That itself was really stressful as neither of us had any sleep the night before and had gotten maybe 10 hrs total in the three days before the wedding. We get here and find out that transportation is a lot more difficult that expected, he planned this trip himself completely so I am here without any kind of knowledge of the city or how to get around or even how to speak with anyone. Not only that but the airline did not send our luggage on our flight and now they are telling us they lost it. We have some money but it was being saved to pay off school loans and to help us when we get back and now we are here without any clothes or anything. So we don’t really have a lot of means to rebuy everything we lost, including luggage, at foreign prices.
So needless to say we’ve been having a terrible time and we’ve only been here a little over a day. We’ve been communicating with our parents back in the states to try and help us with locating the luggage because we don’t have any telephones here except pay phones down the street which cost a lot. Anyway, the whole point of this is that I got really upset with Darling Husband because he was not doing much to change the situation other than emailing his mother. I told him that it was his job to take care of us and the issue because he’s the one who planned this entire trip and that it wasn’t fair to take me to a foreign country where I don’t know anything and expect everyone else to deal with it. I really shouldn’t have said the things I did and now he’s gone off to the airport by himself to try and get our things back. I feel so sick because it’s my fault he left by himself and now I’m really worried. We’ve had fights in the past but never this bad and I would have never thought it would be on our honeymoon.
I’m so sorry this is long, I really needed to talk it out. I just have to sit here and wait until he gets back because I have no cash on me and he took the only room key we have. I’m so worried that he will still be upset when he gets back and won’t forgive me for some of the things I said.
Post # 3
What country are you in? Which airline did you take? It might be easier to give you practical advice if you give us more specifics.
Post # 4
Just breathe-he will definteily forgive you-you guys have been together years, this is a lot of stress to go through and don’t worry- they still might find your luggage. Go run a bath, jump in, relax, try to calm down, and just apologize when he gets back.
You will get through this and have the power to make lemonade out of lemons… 🙂
Post # 5
I’m not really looking for advice on the bags… his mother works for the airline in the US so has been in contact with them on the US side. Right now I don’t care if we ever get them back… I’m afraid he won’t forgive me for blaming him for part of all this. That and I hate the feeling of being completely alone in a foreign country aside from Darling Husband who I think hates me at the moment.
Post # 6
This is a horrible situation. Try not to beat yourself up because even the perfect couple would probably get in an argument when faced with this much stress. As the others have said, all you can do it “breathe and reboot.” Try to relax and come at all this from another angle. I hope you can enjoy your honeymoon!
Post # 7
Thanks, I would go out but he has our only key and there is no way to get back in. I can’t even order food because I can’t speak the language. =( I know I’m just a bag of joy right now… I really hope so, he’s never been this mad at me and we have had a rough patch in the past that we got through. But it scares me because he’s never been this upset. I wish we’d just stayed at home….
Post # 8
He doesn’t hate you! It will all be fine, every couple says things in stressful situations which they wish they could take back. When he gets back just give him a really sincere apology and turn the mood of the trip around by being super upbeat about everything.
Honestly, these types of things happen all the time when you travel internationally, and you guys will be fine with or without luggage. It’ll make a great story in a few years. I don’t know where you are but maybe while he is out you can jump online and learn some key words. Hello, please, thank you, one and two. Impress him when he comes back and I honestly believe he will forgive you as soon as he sees you enjoying this amazing trip he planned out for you.
I hope your bags show up, but make the most of it either way. I would love to be in Europe right now!!
Post # 9
where are you????? maybe someone camn help you there..i mean, if you were in my country i would try to give you some directions otr volunteer to help in anyway i could. As for your husband, well, he will understand you were/are under a lot of stress. I would completely flip out in your shoes!! Hang in there!
Post # 10
Yeah, we travel in the US all the time but I’ve never been overseas and never thought there would be all these problems, and all at one time. It’s not only the stress from this trip but I haven’t gotten to relax from the wedding. I did almost everything myself for our wedding and was literally working on something from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to sleep for the 3-4 weeks before.
We are in Rome right now, but we are supposed to catch a train later this week to Vienna and then to Munich a week later. Stupid me wanted the honeymoon to be a surprise so I wasn’t able to learn much about where we were going except on the way here. He has been learning Italian though and knows some German so he is a lot better off than me. I feel so bad because I know he did put a lot of effort into this trip and then I just go and crap on it because of all these issues that aren’t really his fault.
Post # 11
@meowcat – I can imagine it would be very frustrating. Just relax and make the best of a crappy situation! Try to put a positive spin on it: it will be a story you’ll tell the grandkids someday!
Post # 12
Try to make the best of it! Use some money to go shopping for clothes. Use English to talk and use hand gestures and facial expressions to make yourself understood. Graci is thank you.
I lost my luggage on my way to France one time, and since I was immediately going to Barcelona I had to leave it…they just delivered it to the hotel where I would eventually end up. So I had to buy ALL NEW stuff…which was annoying but ended up being kind of fun. Try to find the positives — you’re in ROME!!! Eat some pasta! Drink some wine! Go sleep for about a million years…and when you wake up things will be better.
Post # 13
The OP says: I told him that it was his job to take care of us and the issue because he’s the one who planned this entire trip and that it wasn’t fair to take me to a foreign country where I don’t know anything and expect everyone else to deal with it.
Really it’s not his FAULT that things have turned out as they have; he could have planned better, but I sincerely doubt he planned for the flights to be delayed or your bags have been lost. Right now, it’s not HIS job to fix this— it is BOTH OF YOURS. You two can either work together to figure out what to do, or you can spend all of your time and energy fighting each other.
If you decide you want to work together I would first be putting pressure on the airline for a clothing allowance. If his mom works for the airline, she should know someone who can get that for you– it won’t be generous but will at least be enough to get a few modest changes of clothes and some basic toiletries.
Take a few minutes and at least acknowledge the hard work he’s done planning the trip, even if you can’t quite thank him yet. Then tell him you want to pull together as a team and decide what to do next. Make a list of all the problems– lost bags, can’t figure out public transport, can’t speak the language, tired, overwhelmed, etc— then decide what you’re going to do about them. Maybe he goes to buy an English-Italian dictionary while you go ask the concierge to explain the subway system, then you meet back in the hotel for nap. Building things into lists helps them seem manageable and fix-able.
Post # 14
There is an Apple Store at Via Collatina, 858 Rome 06 224 5300. That could be fun.
There is an H&M somewhere in Rome, where you can get cheap clothes. Ask the concierge where it is. If you are nervous about talking to them, bring your computer/phone down with the screen showing H&M, and they will understand.
Post # 15
Oh I totally understand, it is so much harder to deal with things when you’re exhausted, especially after a ridiculously long flight. The good news is: the people of Rome are SO used to tourists who don’t speak a lick of Italian. Pointing and smiling will get you a really long way, especially with a please and thanks. And more often than not they’ll speak fluent english.
Everything will be fine with your husband once you apologise. And it sounds like he has planned an incredible trip, you’ll love it. Try to get some rest while he’s out.
Post # 16
I think you both need to drink a bottle of wine while people watching–make love–and get some SLEEP
The situation will look a whoooole lot less dire afterwards.
As far as the clothing part goes—let his mother deal with it, she works for the airline and will have better luck than you can–you’re on your honeymoon and you’re trying to make the best of it
Buy a big old English/Italian/German Dictionary if you don’t have on–or even load an app on you phone–and just explore. You don’t have to be able to speak the language to have fun–and if it’s a tourist area I’m sure that people speak SOME English, if you ask them they should be able to work with you.