Post # 1
I know this is not usually the type of post to be started! But I never really wanted a bridal shower. Mainly because I HATE being the center of attention, it gives me anxiety. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say besides “thank you so much!!!” after I open a gift, and I feel like it is going to get repetitive after awhile. I don’t even care about getting gifts honestly.
I also think deep down I don’t want a shower because none of my friends are going to be there. I knew this was how it was going to be… a lot of them live out of town, so I get that, but I know it would never be a priority to them. I don’t really have a lot of close girlfriends. I’ve had 3 BEST friends in the past 5 years; I caught the first one sleeping with my then boyfriend, the 2nd one moved in with me/my Fiance and she went crazy over bills and now trashes my Fiance (and me too, I guess), and the 3rd one just kind of drifted away from me. We were just at different points in our lives.
Anyways, thats not the point. The point is that as GRATEFUL as I am for everyone who is going to show up and show their support, I’m dreading it. Most of the people who have RSVP’d are older people from my church and my mom’s friends. I think deep down I didn’t want to have a shower because it just kind of reminds me that I don’t really have any friends anymore…
The same goes for a bachelorette party. My bridesmaid has apparently already started planning one, but I know she won’t get very far. Literally the only people she’ll be able to invite is my sister (MOH), my mom, my Mother-In-Law and herself. No one else will come. It is really kind of sad.
Its not that I don’t get along with people, I’m just really shy (hence the anxiety) and I also am hurt from letting previous people get close to me, and then completely betray me. Like I didn’t even know them.
Sorry this was long and rambling…I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this, my Fiance doesn’t really understand, and it is embarrassing to say out loud. I guess I just needed to type it. Thanks for reading if you made it this far…
Post # 3
Take lots of deep breaths. Remember that the people who do attend are there because they want to share in the joy of your marriage and wish you well.
Make sure that someone who knows about your shyness (mom, friend?) sits next to you so they can whisper encouraging and helpful words.
When I had my showers for my first marriage, my then Future Mother-In-Law hosted a shower where she and my Future Sister-In-Law were the only 2 I knew. The other 50-60 ladies were their friends, neighbours, relatives and church members. My FSIl sat next to me at my request. After I opened a gift and oohed and aahed, she would whisper to me g”The lady in the pink dress sittin on the right of the piano” and I would look at that lady and say” Thanks so much, I love the teapot!” I felt like an idiot with all eyes on me, but I got through it and so will you.
Don’t forget that you can always excuse yourself, and take a break, even if that involves going to the bathroom.
Let us know how it goes.
Post # 4
I don’t like being the center of attention either! But I found out that once I got into the swing of opening gifts it wasn’t all that bad. Many of the women were chatting the entire time I opened gifts and they really only looked over when I opened a gift from them.
Like julies said have somone sit next to you and help you! Its actually not as bad as you think its going to be. =) Plus…its kinda awesome to open presents!
Post # 5
Thank you BOTH for your replies. They genuinely helped me more than you know. I never got to reply because I was traveling all weekend to get back home, but I did get to read your replies on my phone.
I had to take deep breaths in the beginning, because literally everyone showed up within 5 minutes of eachother. It was very overwhelming to greet 40 people at once, especially when I hardly knew some/ a lot of them. I did take your advice and asked my mother to sit next to me, and she did very good at helping me thank the correct person without being too obvious.
I felt very grateful for all of the gifts/hard work that came with the shower, but I am so glad it is over! Haha. I also may have borrowed my FI’s 8 year old cousin to sit in the chair with me and help me open gifts, so the attention wouldn’t all be on me…
I’m going to post pictures soon. Thank you again for your advice because you REALLY did calm me down!
Post # 6
I was in the same boat as you in that I don’t have a lot of close girlfriends. My two good friends who were in our wedding were going to be coming in from out-of-state, so obviously they weren’t at the shower. Showers and events like this are anxiety-inducing; you’re not crazy. I’m so glad to hear it all went well for you and can’t wait to see pics. 🙂
Post # 7
Now, on to the thank-you notes!
Glad it went well.
Post # 8
Hey, I’m glad you’re shower went okay!
I just wanted to say I’m having a small bachelorette party too, it’s okay 🙂
Post # 9
@Ms.Pink:It’s never too late to make new friends by the way! I’m glad everything went well for you.