Post # 1
This is my first post but I have been reading through wedding bee throughout the planning process and loads of your suggestions have helped loads!
We passed the 1 month to go yesterday and suddenly my nerves have kicked in! It’s ridiculous because before that i’ve been really giddy and excited for ages, and now i’m petrified 🙁
I’ve suffered from panic attacks since I was a teenager and am on mild medication and pretty much have them under control – but since I got engaged my biggest fear has been having a panic attack on my wedding day. I’ve always had the excuse “but it’s ages away yet so I can worry about that later” and it turns out now is later. I want to just enjoy my wedding day so much but I can’t help myself thinking now that I wish we could skip the whole wedding and fast forward to the day after when we can just be married!
I’m so afraid i’m going to panic and that something terrible will happen like i’ll freeze walking down the aisle, or i’ll be shaking or crying and i wont be able to say anything and then we won’t end up married 🙁
I’m just so scared. And I’m not sure I can deal with all this anticipation for another few weeks and that i’ll just crumble 🙁 I just want it to be over so we can just enjoy being married. I love him so so so much i’d hate for my panic/anxiety to ruin anything.
Am I the only one? Is there anything I can do to help me stay calm and just enjoy the day?
Post # 3
HI there, it is normal to feel the way you do. I know I did but just try to remember what your ultimate goal is here. It is to marry and spend the rest of your life with someone you love.
On that day, I had a few glasses of wine while getting ready, it helped me relax. 🙂
Post # 4
@lozzle22: I felt the same way after I woke up from a wedding nightmare that I had today. I was all frazzled in the dream and so discombobulated after I woke up. I can only imagine how I will really feel the night before/day of. Yikes. I am like you where I have panic attacks/high anxiety. I have no idea how I’m going to make it through.
Post # 5
I feel for you, I used to suffer from acute panic attacks but grew out of them, now my fi has them frequently and so does my best friend. They are the most frightening thing to go through and I can totally see why this would be bothering you so close to the wedding. The following are tried and tested ways of coping in the moment, if you do have a PA on the day. You may find that there is simply so much going on your excitement pulls you though, but if you need a moment remember the following:
- Take deep, lung filling breaths. Slowing your breathing down, lowers your heart rate and the adrenaline that comes with it
- On the morning of or day before go for a good heart racing run. It’ll release any pent up adrenaine that may creep up on your day.
- Dig your nails into the palms of your hands. This helps you refocus on a small pain that isn’t directed at your current state of panic
- Take in everything going on around you. By directing the thoughts away from you you allow your mind to stop repeating the fear
- Tell yourself YOU CAN HANDLE THIS THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR. Replace all negative/fearful doubt with a positive comment. “I’m excited and happy, I can handle this feeling” “Everyone here loves me and I am very loved”
- Smile, because smiling sends signals to the brain that say “I’m happy and positive”
If you do find yourself getting into a panic and you can, take 5 to get some fresh air. I usually don’t condone drinking to get rid of panic, but it does take the edge off and if you feel it may become a real issue, a glass of wine/champagne will help calm the brain.
Remember it is psychological, so despite not believing it, you are in control of the feelings you have, you just need to change your mindset.
Good luck and remember to enjoy your day!
Post # 6
Aw honey! All I can say is that it sounds to me like you are freakng yourself out and being SO afraid of having a panic attack will most likely make it Happen. You have to tell yourself it won’t happen, focus on other parts of your wedding, focus on it being a normal fun day full of love. Focusing on having an attack And worrying about that will only make it come true, and make the next month horrible! I hope you are able to get past this and enjy everything!
Post # 7
I understand your fear of having a panic attack. As someone who suffers from panic attacks, my greatest fear is also having another panic attack. The first time I had one it was so awful that the idea of being that way again, in front of people….well, it makes me start to panic! I know exactly how you feel!!
I suggest you keep your medication with you. Whenever I am carrying around my meds, I know I feel more secure and safe because if I have a panic attack, I can stop it pretty quickly by taking the medication. Just make sure you have your meds there as a safety net, and hopefully that will be enough to calm your nerves.
Post # 8
Also, make sure you let some people close to you know you’re a little afraid of this happening – Maid/Matron of Honor, mother, whomever – and that they know what to tell you to do (breathe deeply), step outside for a minute) if you start showing warning signs.
Post # 9
@lozzle22: It looks like we’re date twins! I have also been freaking out, the last few days especially. For some reason, that 30-day mark just flipped a switch in me and now I find myself crying all the time and quick to anger and on edge. I also suffer from anxiety, and my physician gave me a prescription. I’d suggest that you ask your doctor if you maybe need a dose adjustment for this period of time, the next few weeks, and then go back down to your normal dose. Also, if you’re having trouble getting everything done, delegate as much as possible. I flipped out on my SO the other night for playing video games while I stayed up until 2 a.m. working on wedding music and told him that I felt like I was doing this alone and that I needed help. When I got home from work yesterday, he was stuffing favor bags! I’m going to my doctor to get a dose adjustment so I can get through the next few weeks without having a complete meltdown. We will get through it!
Post # 10
I plan on taking a perscriped xanax. I have social anxiety that is pretty crippling, especially around loud noises (even though I am a musician… try to understand that one…). The only thing that I can think to do besides try to give myself alone time and practice meditation leading up to and on the day of the wedding, is to take xanax before the ceremony, reception, and dance portions.
Post # 11
@ohmybears48: Are you used to taking this medication? Just wouldnt want you to not be and take it on your wedding day for the first time and be a zombie.
Post # 12
I am also about a month out and i have been trying to get so many things done so that im not stressing the week before. Ive had dreams that im late for the wedding or i just cant seem to get myself ready for the wedding and everyone is waiting for me! but the more i get done the more i relax. I still cant manage to sleep in though. I wake up pretty early.
Once i get everything done for the wedding, then i know its out of my hands. Whatever happenes happens.
Post # 13
lozzle 22……I to suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. I have 31 days until my wedding and I am constantly thinking about the “what if’s.” What if I throw up in front of everyone? What if I pass out? What if I have to leave the reception because I’m feeling a panic attack coming on?
I don’t want to dissapoint anyone. This is what I keep telling myself…I have NEVER passed out from a panic attack. I have NEVER thrown up because of a panic attack. If I happen to have to leave the reception to gather myself, no big deal. People will probably be so busy enjoying themselves, they won’t even realize that I’m gone!
I also have been trying to tell myself that everyone is there because they love me. IF something does go wrong, they are there to help me. Even if they don’t understand panic attacks, it’s okay. Maybe they will just think I’m crying because I’m happy or emotional (because I am!).
As I’m writing this, I feel less nervous. I suggest writing down everything you are feeling, and then read it outloud to someone you trust. I did this with my fiance, who doesn’t really understand panic attacks. He was there to tell me that all those feelings were very irrational! And saying them outloud made me realize that.
I WILL be okay at my wedding, and I WILL have fun. thinking that I won’t be nervous or MIGHT have a panic attack is irrational, because I COULD happen. And it’s okay if it does. This is supposed to be a FUN, HAPPY, and LOVING day right? It will be. We will get through it and have fun during it.
I know how you feel, but we will be okay. Congratualtions!