(Closed) Really not sure how to deal with or process this. Please help

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I can only imagine what you are feeling. I don’t think that you are being selfish at all, but instead have stress and worry from all ends coming at you. I don’t have advice on how to make it better, but wanted you to know that I UNDERSTAND! My brother always tells me “chin up buttercup” so I say that to you. Try to enjoy your last weeks of planning it is time you will never get to replace. Just hope and pray for the best!

Post # 4
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

HUGS. It’s not terrible to want her there, or to be concerned about how you and your family will react if she’s not there, for whatever reason.

Post # 6
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t think your fears are selfish. It’s natural that at huge milestones in our lives we want to share them with the loved ones that mean the most to us. My grandmother died when I was 17 and a senior in high school VERY unexpectedly. I remember flying to Texas the day after for her funeral and walking into her home, everything was as she left it, just waiting to come home from the hospital. We even had our tickets booked for a month later to come see her for winter break. I remember the moments that were the hardest of her loss were the ones spent thinking, she’ll never be at my high school graduation, she won’t be at my senior play, she won’t be at my wedding. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that my grandmother who was such a constant presence in my life and such an important figure all of a sudden wouldn’t be with me on these days. And maybe that is selfish, in a way making it about me, but these are the people I wanted to share these joys with and the people who I wanted to be proud of me and be in my photos. A few days before my grandmother passed I took my senior pictures and had ordered her a copy of my favorite to display in her house. It broke my heart that she wouldn’t ever get to see that picture and tell me how beautiful it was – I know she’d feel pride looking at it and I was crushed that she and I would never get that special moment. When I got my wedding pictures back I found THE picture, the one I knew my grandmother would’ve purchased to frame in her house alongside the wedding pictures of my aunts in their gowns, and it made me sad that she wasn’t there to share in my joy and be proud of me on my special day.

I’m sorry, I don’t mean to threadjack, I wrote all of this really quickly just trying to share my thoughts with you. But I just wanted to tell you that I’m thinking of you and wishing you the best because I know the pain and the fear and sadness that you’re feeling. I hope everything works out for you and that you’re able to get your three generational photo! 

Post # 7
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Sorry this sounds awful! The only thing I can tell is my grandma who is 87 also has dementia and is often confused, fell and had to have a pin put into her leg(2 years ago), it was painful and hard but two years later she is walking again(not the same but still walking. It still very scary. My grandma was in a well chair for a few weeks but we manage to get her around.

If your grandma is not feeling well enough to make it to the venue, perhaps consider getting dress a little early and going to take photos with her?(depending on how close she is to your ceremony/ venue locations.

Post # 9
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Oh ok my grandma had a rod and pin put in her knee. She does limp now but she is walking. Your grandma probably going to have to psychical therapy. By the way your reaction is completely normal we were all freaking out and worried about my grandma having that done at her age, and both of the doctors  seem nonchalant and  even relaxed about it. I don’t know why they are like that, and it drove me nuts.

It’s sucks you have to add another thing to your list, but I am hopeful you will find a way to take a picture with your grandma and grandpa.

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