(Closed) Really really feeling like an ugly bride

posted 8 years ago in Wellness
Post # 17
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@jules_1N_seattle: 

I don’t mean to be rude to your “georgous” blonde bridesmaid but you easily outshined her and the other two.  It is such a beautiful picture and you are just beaming, nobody can beat that!  

Post # 18
Member
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

You know what?  You are gorgeous and your BMs are beautiful too!  I really don’t see where other ppl were talking about a someone else deserving to be the bride…makes no sense to me!

You look like a happy bride (deservingly) and your BMs look like they are truly happy for you and happy to be a part of your day!  Don’t let anyone get you down!

Post # 20
Member
4428 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@jules_1N_seattle:  all i can say is you really look beautiful and thin in your wedding pictures ;  you are a very beautiful women. and you blessed to be so thin. you have to love yourself write on your bathroom and bedroom mirrors that you are beautiful caz you really are.

Post # 21
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@jules_1N_seattle:  

I think most of us on this site could probably identify with you on some level. We all have things that we see in ourselves as flawed and wish that were different. But I have to agree with PPs. You had some real jerks at your wedding. You are beautiful, just the way you are…and defintely WERE NOT outshined by your bridesmaids! *hugs*

Post # 22
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I honestly thought your picture was one of those pictures that come with the frame, and my eyes were drawn to you! You were a stunning bride, forreal! ultimately, I think you should wait for the vow renewal, because I think its deeper than that. I think you need to learn to love jules_1N_Seattle. Make a list of things that you find that are “right” with you, and everyday elaborate on why they are right. Loving yourself does wonders for your self esteem and pride!

 

“You can buy your hair if it won’t grow; you can fix your nose if you say so. You can buy all the makeup MAC can make. But if you can look inside you, find out “Who am I to be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty?”-TLC “Unpretty”

Post # 23
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@jules_1N_seattle:  

Hi.  What I see on that picture is a woman with incredibly perfect, creamy skin, a lovely figure and a beautiful smile.

Did your husband glow when he saw you, or your friends gush about how pretty you are.  Didn’t your family cry a little bit.  These are all different ways of saying you’re beloved and you’re beautiful to them.

Beauty is so much more than physical attractiveness and perfect noses.  It’s the way you move, smell, sound and laugh.  It’s the respect that you show for yourself and for others. It’s your posture and the way you carry yourself.  It’s the twinkle in the eyes and the dimple that shows when you smile.  It’s the energy you put out and the aura or vibes that other people feel around you.  Have you ever seen a drop dead gorgeous looking guy, spoke to him and were repelled? I have.  I’ve also seen very plain looking women who have so much life in them that you can’t help be attracted.

Remember that the photo is a one dimensional picture of the surface of you.  It isn’t you.   It can’t capture the true beauty of who you are.

 

Post # 24
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee

@jules_1N_seattle:  I understand your struggle but know that there will be a day when you see yourself for the beautiful person you are,  NOT the fictious person you think you are. All I see is a beautiful girl. I pray someday you can see her too. Start to keep a journal,writing all the things about yourself that you do love, and are thankful for. Remember no one, and I mean NO ONE is perfect. I completely hate my butt and I my high forehead, but I know that that does not determine who I am.There are things I love too. I am sure every bee here has something they hate about themselves.

Post # 25
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Honestly, you are glowing! I’m not saying this because you need to hear it. I am a complete cyber stranger. Trust me you are beautiful. I feel crap about myself most of the time, and sometimes I wake up and think, I have the most wonderful Husband and life, I am so blessed!

Post # 26
Member
3422 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@jules_1N_seattle:  Wow! I agree with Pp’s, you look beautiful, for real! We are our own worst critics, while your BM’s look great, you definitely steal the show Hun.  Please believe that

Post # 27
Member
69 posts
Worker bee

I hope this doesn’t sound bad towards your bridesmaids, but in my opinion you are the most beautiful of the women in the picture (they are pretty, too, but you stand out!).  Self esteem is a tricky thing ~ we are our own worst critics and I have struggled with insecurity, too, at different times in my life.  I’ve read a lot about developing a positive self image and this may sound corny, but try telling yourself every day “I am beautiful!” and remember you are a unique individual ~ no one else on earth is like you or possesses the qualities (both inner & outer beauty) that you do!  Also, I would try to avoid any toxic people in your life who would have the complete rudeness to compare you on your wedding day ~ surround yourself with positive people who love you and will help build you up.  🙂

Post # 28
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Oh my gosh! You look gorgeous!

Post # 29
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I felt like this during my college years. My best friend was a gorgeous slim black woman and I was the pale fat friend. I got used to men complimenting her and hitting on her while I was perpetually invisible and single. Sadly, helpful people giving me unwanted weight loss advice and tips for being less of a wallflower, made things worse. I can’t say I dealt well with it. I seeked comfort in meaningless things for years – food, daydreaming, isolation.

BUT! Time passed, and it has a way of changing you from the inside out. 🙂 Things are different now. Whatever you’re going through, remember that it’s only temporal. You’re young, beautiful, and have a husband who loves you and a wonderful life ahead of you. In time, you’ll look at these same pictures and see what other bees are telling you, and the ‘ugly bride’ lie will be a thing of the past. 🙂

Post # 29
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 2016

This is an excellent example of the tremendous and unwarranted value women place upon one ceremony. It’s one day. This cannot be the threshold of your self-worth. Are you serious? Please continue talking to a therapist. I’m sure others want to make you feel better but the truth of the matter is that this is a very shallow and insipid concern. Move on with the life you’re making with your husband and try to understand why your self esteem continues to be so low and why how you look it such a tremendous focus in your life. 

Post # 30
Member
9076 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

 

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