(Closed) Really silly complaint

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 46
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I agree with all the PP about wearing a dress you love. HOWEVER… I get it. If you are constantly thinking of how others will think (whether or not it’s right or wrong), you’re not going to feel comfortable. You’re not going to feel good. And that’s not a way to feel on your wedding day.

If you love the dress and don’t care what other people think or say: great! wear it!

If you love the dress but worry it’s outdated and don’t want to wear it anymore: that’s ok too. Wear what you want and what makes you happy.

Post # 47
Member
436 posts
Helper bee

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sunflower22:  Since you said it actually makes you SAD that you can’t wear it, I think that means you should wear it! I have tried on about a million dresses, and there’s a good chance that I’m going with the one that almost everyone that I’ve asked in real life deems unflattering. I’m horribly indecisive, so I may decide to go with a different one, because there’s a lot that I like. But that’s besides the point, lol!

For what it’s worth, after looking at the dresses in your past threads, I really think the one with the pick-ups and beading is beautiful and regal looking. I don’t typically like pick-ups. but if executed properly, they can look awesome! Your dress is a perfect example of that!

Post # 48
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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sunflower22:  If it’s a dress you love, wear it. It’s that simple! If you’re fixed on wearing a dress that’s trendy….why don’t you think back on the dresses that were trendy in the 80s and consider how people feel about them now! It definitely doesn’t matter if it’s “in style” because it probably won’t be in 10 years. Pick something you love!

Post # 50
Member
4106 posts
Honey bee

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sunflower22:  Don’t invite any snickerers! Honestly people will react to your radiance and not the dress+ all the peole who don’t care a fig for fashion will be sayng ” Great dress, it’s so you!”

Post # 51
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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sunflower22:  But YOU loved the dress without Pintrest and Weddbingbee – exactly how many of your guests do you think are using these websites and looking at wedding dresses?! 

If YOU look happy and radient in it, then they will love it. The detailing on the bodice is beautiful and regal and the skirt looks like it would be so much fun to twirl in (always a must in my book). 

 

Post # 52
Member
436 posts
Helper bee

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sunflower22:  Do you have a lot of fashionistas who are up to date on all the latest bridal fashions coming to your wedding? If so then I guess it’s possible they will think the dress is outdated. If they snicker about it then they’re not very nice people and don’t deserve your consideration anyway. 

The dress fits you wonderfully and you love it. The nice people at your wedding who may recognize pick-ups as being popular a few years back are going to look past that and be stunned by how gorgeous you look. The not so nice “snickerers” are not people you want to live your life trying to impress, especially for something so once-in-a-lifetime as a wedding dress!

Post # 53
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

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sunflower22:  Ok, most of your guests wont have any idea whats “in” in the wedding world, they’ll just know what YOU look like and if you look happy you’ll be radiant in ANY dress! Wear the one that makes you happy because that’s the one you’re going to look the most beautiful in! 

What about the style of the dress is it that you’re so worried about? Honestly there’s so many different styles out there these days that I doubt anyone but stressed out brides-to-be (like all of us that hang out on places like weddingbee!) would know the difference between a dress from this year an 10 years from now.  

 

Just for fun, can you tell me which of these dresses is from 2015 and which is from 2005? 

Post # 54
Member
238 posts
Helper bee

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juliette.eliza:  

Good post . No I can’t tell, and if I made a guess it woudl be on  hairstyles, not dress. 

Post # 55
Member
1405 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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sunflower22:  I think you have answered your own question. No matter what any of us has said about the dress being OK, you are uncomfortable wearing it now thinking that it is outdated and your guests will snicker.

So your path is clear. Do not wear it.

Post # 56
Member
556 posts
Busy bee

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sunflower22:  Actually, I expect your guest population to be VERY different from the WeddingBee crowd. One, your guests will probably be of all assorted genders, ages, life stages, and relationship statuses. On WB almost everyone is a young adult woman, averaging 20-40 years old, in a long-term relationship, engaged, or just married. Two, most of your guests probably are not “up” on wedding style and details. Maybe the ones who have gotten married recently or the ladies in their mid-20s to mid-30s. Everyone else, unlikely. On WB, even those of is who aren’t very into dresses (me) glean an idea of what is currently popular (mermaid, strapless, etc) and what isn’t (plenty of other beautiful styles). Three, most of your guests probably don’t really care what your dress is like beyond a few basic parameters. They probably expect it to be fancy and a shade of white. Sounds like your dress fits that bill. On here, everyone is concerned with their own personal taste because they are dress shopping, too. 

If you really don’t feel like you can be comfortable, I guess you should seek something different out, but it seems sad that you’re feeling self-conscious about something that made you happy before. WB can be a great place, but it’s also as subject to bias as any interest group. And, remember: the average “group preference” often ends up being no individual’s preference because everyone’s opinions may vary widely from it. 

In the end, what is going to matter? That you have a lasting, happy relationship. That you have fond memories of your day. That you feel beautiful and like yourself. I think that’s what you should do… Ask yourself if you feel like YOU in your dress. If you don’t, then okay, go with something else. If you do, then share that side of yourself with the world. Your Fiance wants to marry YOU, not whoever WB thinks you should be.

And, if you really think any of your guests is going to be petty enough to snicker at your (perfectly normal fancy white) dress, they are damned lucky to be getting an invitation in the first place. 

Post # 57
Member
245 posts
Helper bee

the only people at your wedding who may know when or where your dress is from will be any other women who are engaged and actively wedding planning.

what people will know is if you are comfortable and happy. if you like this dress, that will shine through and people will think you look wonderful.

Post # 58
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Modern, Classic, Fun

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sunflower22:  just curious why you think you’re dress is really inappropriate? Do you mean it looks dated or that it is too revealing? I’m sure its totally fine and a beautiful dress!

Post # 59
Member
8 posts
Newbee

I have no idea which of those dresses are 2005 and 2015.  The bottom two are absolutely stunning, and similar to my dress. 

 

Post # 60
Member
2841 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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sunflower22:  For what it’s worth – and I’m really trying to shut off the trend-minded part of my brain – I have to be honest and say that your new dress looks better on you, at least from that photo angle. It isn’t so much about the style of the dress or the pickups but more the fact that the old dress looks kind of heavy on you with all that fabric. It looks like it’s adding bulk.

Again – this is not about the style at all but more about the fabric – I feel the same way about some of the satin Prima Tornei dresses with all that bulky pleating, that everyone seems to like even today.

That said – it’s not like the old dress looks completely awful or anything and I’m sure in a better photo or in real life it looks awesome, otherwise you wouldn’t have chosen it.

Is there any chance you could wear the old dress as a reception dress and keep the new one for the ceremony? In My Humble Opinion you can get away with more as a reception dress because expectations are different. Plus I think the sparkle would look really good at a nighttime venue with all the lights shining off it. My only concern would be if it’s maybe a bit heavy to dance in, but it looks like it wouldn’t take up as much space as the ballgown, so that’s a start.

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