(Closed) Really struggling with a registry, how small is too small?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee

Your friend is wrong about it being rude not to have a registry, it’s absolutely optional. I think 50 things should be fine for a wedding of 130 people. I would think that is ~65 potential gifts, and some people will give money, of course. You could periodically check on your registry, and if it seems like it’s getting bought out quickly, you can add a few more things.

Post # 3
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
summerbride0815:  I wouldn’t worry about a registry. Some people love them, especially for the smaller, shower gifts.

Remember that you can include things that a thought of as a bit unconventional: BBQ, patio furniture, garden tools etc.

If there is nothing left on the registry after the shower, guests who want to give you a wedding gift will pick something of their own personal choice, or give cash or a check.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
3527 posts
Sugar bee

If you don’t want stuff, you don’t need a registry. For various reasons, we did not want or need a ton of physical gifts, so we just didn’t o a registry. No one was offended! 

Post # 5
Member
6216 posts
Bee Keeper

I had about 22 things on our registry, invited just under 60 people and had about 36 actual guests in the end.  We didn’t even receive half of what was there.  Don’t worry about it – you have a few things for people like me who prefer to give a box.  Everyone else who wants to gift you will give money, it seems to be more the norm these days.  

Post # 6
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If you’re not going to do a registry, might I suggest specifying no glifts for your shower? I recently went to a shower where the only registry was a honeyfund, and it was really difficult as a guest to try and guess what the bride needs/wants. It’s no fun to give cash at a shower. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by mrscali13.
Post # 7
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
mrscali13:  I wouldn’t give cash at a shower, but I also don’t think that not having a registry precludes having a shower.

Anyone can use a few extra white towels; tea towels;a pasta night gift basket which includes a box of pasta, jar of sauce, bottle of wine;, a set of placemats. It doesn’t take much effort to come up with many ideas for a shower gift.

Post # 9
Member
13576 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Traditional etiquette barely tolerates registries, disapproving the whole idea of asking for gifts, no matter how you try to spin it.  Not registering only means you aren’t thinking about gifts at all.   

Traditional etiquette also happens to disapprove of the honeymoon registry. Honeymoons are not an entitlement. They are considered to be a life style choice and the sole responsibility of the couple. The funds don’t give you experiences, they cut a check, minus commission. So it’s really no different than asking for money.

Modern or liberal etiquette does not disapprove them, but a lot of people do think they are in poor taste. So your friend is half wrong. 

You don’t need a registry for a shower, either. People can buy you what they think you might appreciate.  Imagine that!  “No gifts” for a shower makes no sense, either.  Showers are, by definition about gifts. If you don’t want gifts, call it a tea or a luncheon, but it’s not a shower. 

Post # 10
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee

Personally, I think the registry is a way to make it easier for everybody. If you don’t register, people are going to buy you a ton of crap you don’t want, and it will be that much harder to return or exchange. 

Plus, many offer free shipping, so that saves your guests money. Also, if something gets lost, you can figure it out by checking the registry.

If the list gets bought up, add more stuff. The great thing is that registry return policies are awesome. So you can take a bunch of stuff back and use the credit for bigger ticket items that you do want – furniture, BBQ, etc. So choose your store with that in mind.

Post # 11
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

i wouldnt worry too much, to be honest we are having 230 guests.. and my registry is 38 items LOL… with this my bridesmaids came up with an idea.. they set us up a travel account at one of the local travel agencies and some people LOVED that idea.. for the rest gift cards or cash is what im assuming we will get.. I truly think there is nothing wrong with that! modern times.. better than having a bunch of stuff you truly don’t need collecting dust when you can use it for experiences or on things you might find you need later on, or gift cards towards bigger priced items 🙂

Post # 12
Member
13576 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Showers are for tangible gifts. Money and gift cards are not appropriate. You do not need a registry. In fact traditionally it’s more “correct”  for the  guest of honor to just show up and be surprised and grateful for whatever she receives. Gifts are always at the total  initiative of others, even if there is a registry.

Post # 13
Member
317 posts
Helper bee

Same here bought a house not too long ago so we have around 30 gifts on there, we just removed a bunch after going over it again and realising we don’t need them. No shower yet and already 1/3 of the gifts have been purchased.

I didn’t want to do one and did not expect cash since FI’s family is travelling for our wedding but was kind of talked into by them anyways. They said that people would just gift you things that you don’t need at all then. Turns out to be partially true so far since people keep buying us glasses. We seriously have so many glasses now it is not even funny. We still don’t feel like putting more on there though because that would be a waste really.

Post # 14
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We are in the same situation….inviting 300 guests and we have maybe 50 items between 2 registeries. Fiance and I are early 30s and established, there are very few things we need and we did a few upgrades. I was not going to have a shower but his mom insisted…meh. People can buy whatever they want, if they want to give us a gift. We’d love them to just come to our wedding!

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