(Closed) really stupid question but…

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t feel stupid because I’ve wondered that too!

Also, how would a tampon not break it upon using one the first time?

I’m curious to know the answer as well, since I’ve heard that it’s about 1 inch into the vaginal entrance…so then a finger/tampon/whatever should tear it.

Post # 4
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

I think tampons do tear it often. But I’m not an expert haha. 

Post # 5
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

From ehealthforum:

The hymen is made of connective tissue membrane and is located in the entrance of the vagina. It usually has a round or elongated hole in the middle through which the menstrual blood flows. It might be perforated by sexual intercourse, but there are various other non-sexual activities might cause the hymen to rupture as well.
These include exercises that might rupture the hymen like: riding a bicycle, horseback riding, and gymnastics, etc. Trauma or injury or even inserting fingers or instruments in the vagina during a medical examination or masturbation might also easily rupture the hymen. Tampon insertion could sometimes be a cause for hymen rupture if the walls of the vagina are too tight.

Post # 6
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@randomushroom:  Your hymen can be punctured by many many things…physical activity, tampons, etc.  Sex alone or sexual acts are not the only way!!  And certainly, if you are marrying this man, he would trust 100% that you are virgin, regardless of if he tears your hymen 🙂  Which, may still be there!!!  Good luck!

ETA:  I was typing this as others responded, so ditto to what they are saying!

Post # 7
Member
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

For a lot of women (even teens), it breaks naturally. Using a tampon, doing strenuous excercise, or a finger can cause it to tear. Some women feel the pain of this more than others.

Post # 8
Member
1642 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Tampons, bike and horseback riding, general exercise…all of these can break your hymen. Your hymen being intact or not is not an indicator of virginity. Not all women are born with fully intact hymens, anyway. Virginity is a state of being, not a physically observable condition.

ETA- I was like a minute too late! 

Post # 9
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

The hymen usually breaks at a young age, from physical activity (eg. riding horses), or from masturbation, or putting a tampon in for the first time.

He could have broken the hymen during your intimate times but it is likely it broke earlier in life.

Bleeding during sex for the first time does not mean you are or you are not a virgin. I did not bleed the first time I had intercourse but I have bled periodically after being sexually active for 10 years. Eduate yourself and your fiance so that you know what to expect!

And finally congrats on your engagement.

Post # 10
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sorry, I just thought of the movie yentl and laughed…

 

Anything can break it, lunges, a pap, horseback riding, so many things…maybe you and your Fiance can read together what to expect and you can slip that info in there so he’s aware there may not be a sign?

Post # 11
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@FMM:  and yes, as Mrs. Martin said, congratulations on your engagement 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2603 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@randomushroom:  Darling, please don’t take this the wrong way, but this question made me go, “Whoa, that’s like, retro!”…As in, like, donkey-carts on cobblestones and fetch water from central square-retro–a reversion back to the old days when men would hang up bloody sheets “the day after” in order to show off that they had married a virgin…Little did they know that due to the fact that the hymen tears for many reasons other than sex (see info above), some new brides would resort to pricking their fingers and such in order to avoid being accused of not marrying as virgins!

But the part that would have ME worried is this: “I just got engaged and I was worried that what if on wedding night,he thinks I’m not a virgin…that I cheated him or smth?(he knows I am one,but what if he thinks I lied).”

Now that you have the biological information, wouldn’t you be more worried that you started a marriage with someone who would accuse you of lying (or worse, cheating)–especially based on some old wives’ tale?

Post # 13
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

A doctor wouldn’t be able to conclusively tell if you are a virgin or not, nevermind your fiance. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Actually your hymen isn’t at the “entrance,” it’s a little further back.  Besides, everyone is different and yours may already be broken without your having even known.  You’ll know as soon as you start having sex the first time, because his penis will bump into it about a half-inch or inch in.  He’ll have to push past it to break it.  You can probably feel it if you push your finger a little further inside, but be careful if you want to remain intact, lol.

Post # 15
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t know if this puts your mind at ease at all, but mine didn’t tear until the second time we had sex. I was a horseback rider for 7 years, used tampons with each cycle, and had been “fingered” prior to sex. Our first time was interrupted by 12 phone calls, and was really painful, so I don’t knowthat there was full penetration, but the second time around… Holy moly. Explain to your Fiance prior that everyone is different! 

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