(Closed) Really tired of the whole it must be a party to be a good wedding

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 17
77 posts
Worker bee

I completely understand where you’re coming from. I don’t think I’ve ever actually been to a wedding that has involved a lot of heavy drinking and they have all been a blast. We aren’t having alcohol at our wedding because we don’t want to deal with it. Most of our guests will be driving 3 hours to get to our wedding anyways. So I get annoyed with people when they say “What’s a wedding without an open bar or alcohol?” We’re toasting with IBC root beer in glass bottles thank you very much. And if the fact that I’m not having alcohol at my wedding makes you not want to come, then I guess you shouldn’t be there in the first place. It’s your wedding and I think a tea party sounds like a bloody good plan.

Post # 18
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’d be one thing if you were planning your event at night in a ballroom, but no one should expect booze and dancing at your event. I can think of dozens and dozens of ways to be entertained at a wedding that include neither one. People need to shut up. For the record, your wedding sounds like fun and I can’t wait to see pics!

Post # 19
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Your wedding sounds like it is going to be so elegant and beautiful!

We are kind of going our own route with the reception as well, and my family hasn’t stopped giving me grief since I first spoke of our plan two years ago. We do NOT want ANY formal dancing and we don’t want party music.

My fiance and I have kind of an Old Las Vegas cocktail party image in our heads for what we want the “feel” to be. We will have top of the line alcohol and jazz/blues music playing and people can dance if they want, but we absolutely do not want dancing to be the main focus. We want to encourage our guests to mingle and visit with each other and have the chance to actually have conversations with both my fiance and myself instead of us being too busy doing all the bride and groom wedding traditions. Afterall, when are we ever going to have all these people in the same room again?!!

Post # 20
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@VAwife:  You don’t have to have a party, but you do need to take your guests into account. If there’s not enough food, drink, or entertainment, then of course people will get bored and not have a good time



Exactly!  All of my guests had to travel to Florida for my wedding.  They had to pay for gas or for airfare and hotel.  Most of my guests are also huge LSU football fans and my wedding happened to be on a home LSU football game(usually considered a cardinal sin if you are from Louisiana) so many missed out on going to the game(some of them have season tickets).  So I wanted my guests to have a great time.  I wanted to show them my appreciation at traveling so far to be part of celebrating my marriage.  In the South…this is done by providing good food and lots of alcohol and great music.  I come from a culture that eats and drinks even if a hurricane is coming our way, food and alcohol just big parts of any celebration. 


We didn’t have a crazy,expensive reception either.  Ours was very laid back under a pavillion on the beach right in front of where we married at. But our guests had a great time.  Even though it is about the bride and the groom, you are still acting as hosts and should at least know your guests and try to keep them happy and entertained…and glad that they took the time, money and effort to attend your wedding.


Seems sad that you don’t want to invite your own friends your age.  I LOVED seeing friends that I haven’t seen in a long time (we all live in different states now) and it made my day feel that much more special knowing they thought I was important enough to them to make the journey to be there for me. 

Post # 23
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@mrsrigsby60:  Your wedding sounds amazing! I love tea and would be so happy to attend a formal wedding/tea party. Just lovely

Post # 27
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Every single wedding I’ve been to has been the typical booze and dancing (which I find really fun) but it would be a refreshing change of pace to go to a reception with something totally different! Your reception sounds like it’s going to be really elegant and beautiful!

Post # 29
5427 posts
Bee Keeper

I would love to go to your wedding… of course, I am 48 years old so that is just my “cup of tea” LOL

I am having a Sunday Brunch Buffet after a very simple 10 minute ceremony. Yes, my day will be “boring” but it’s MY day. I will enjoy my day as is, no fanfare, no music, no dancing. no alcohol, just plain and simple.

Post # 30
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Your wedding sounds lovely, but you sound (for lack of a better word) really insecure about it judging from past posts. Hopefully you can truly adopt the “Oh well” attitude and stop letting this eat away at you. Isn’t a big part of the point to be having fun?

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