- 6 years ago
I’m getting a little frustrated. I know this is stupid and he’s right but I just need to vent.
My SO is 25 and still lives at home with his mom, his dad, and his 21 year old brother. His brother quit his job, dropped out of school, and got dumped by his girlfriend, so he basically just hangs around the house all day freeloading off of his parents, and has absolutely no motivation to do anything but sleep and play video games all day.
My SO and I are moving in together in a few weeks, but we are currently living an hour away from each other and have been long distance for nearly our entire relationship. I am now renting my own apartment, and he will be moving in with me.
Lately, my SO has been breaking plans with me in order to spend more time with his brother, who is apparently depressed about the fact that my SO is moving out and has a serious relationship when he doesn’t have a girlfriend, or a job. I have been understanding and patient for months, but this morning he did it again, and it’s really getting to me. We just had a big fight about it over the phone, (with his mother in earshot because they were apparently shopping together at Wal-mart, which didn’t help things).
They live in the same house and can see each other any time they want, yet I never get to see him, and the plans we do make, he cancels to cater to his lonely brother.
I realize it was a cheap shot, but I texted him this morning and said this whole thing is making me rethink us living together and that maybe he isn’t ready for it. I said this because he doesn’t seem to realize that our relationship needs attention too, and if he can’t handle juggling me and his brother, and if his brother is just going to be upset the whole time, maybe he should just stay with his family.
To this he responded “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just make such an immature and self-centered comment.”
In the 8 months we’ve been together, this is the first time he’s ever called me names. I couldn’t believe it. He then called me and I didn’t answer, because I was still shocked by him saying that, but after I calmed down, I called him and asked if we could please talk about this like adults, without calling each other names. We did, and I understand where he is coming from. I don’t want to be the person who comes between someone and their family. It’s just hard to be patient with this situation when THEY LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE, and see each other EVERY DAY.
Would anyone else be irked by this?