(Closed) Really uncomfortable question.

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
581 posts
Busy bee

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do.  Just try to understand that “they” are not a reflection of you.  Many families have someone like that in their group.  I think I’d rather have that than those loud obnoxious people.  Want to trade?

Post # 4
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would just let her be herself, if she is not in the wedding party she won’t be taking center stage at all.  Like you said, its not a matter of her showing too much its just that they are a distraction so there is really nothing she can do short of wearing a moo moo to hide them.  I would just appreciate her for who she is and make her feel as welcome as you can since you do feel guilty about not including her in the wedding.  If guests end up staring at her, who cares, its not your fault.  I would make sure to tell her to wear a more modest top/dress though (no cleavage) if you are concerned about it.

Post # 5
4485 posts
Honey bee

If you aren’t close, then it makes no sense at all to have her as a bridesmaid, regardless of her body type. There isn’t anything you can do though. You can choose to not invite her if you feel she is that much of an embarrassment, if you don’t mind people asking where your sister is. If you do invite her, you don’t have to be around her since you’ll have several other guests there. At your wedding, your guests won’t be paying attention to her since they will be chatting with their friends and family and celebrating your wedding, which is what they should do.

Post # 6
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would let this one go.  First, unless you are having a black tie wedding, its really not your place to dictate how your guests dress.  Secondly, there’s no way to say this to your sister that won’t cause embarrassment, anger and hurt feelings so what’s the point?  How she dresses is a reflection on her and her alone.  A little (or a lot) of cleavage is not going to upstage you on your wedding day. 

Post # 7
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m with the PP.

You can’t dictate what people wear to the wedding.

But don’t worry–trust us, all eyes will be on YOU. Not her, not her cleavage, glorious, bridal-beauty YOU.

(and ps–there was a recent thread somewhere on here with a funny pic of a guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt and shorts to a gal’s wedding. If anything, it’ll just make for conversation 🙂

Post # 9
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have a sister who is also somewhat embarassing, and you just have to let it go.  They are who they are, but at the end of the day, they are your family, and you just have to love them for who they are. 

And as pp said…it is YOUR wedding day, and no fake boobs could possibly steal your thunder!

Post # 10
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think the best thing to do is 1. let her be who she is. 2. love her anyway. 3. hope for the best.

Bottom line: No one is going to blame you if your sister embarrasses herself, and most people probably won’t pay any attention to her.

The best way to avoid any drama is to simply not expect any.

Good luck! I know everything will be just fine!

Post # 11
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Just relax and enjoy YOUR day… don’t worry, all eyes will be on you.  If your sister tries to get attention by dressing provocatively, the only attention she’ll get is negative attention anyway.

Who knows, someone else in your family might get to her anyway and drop a few subtle hints… (*coughcough* http://www.camisecret.com *cough*)

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