Really unsure of what to do.

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Are you close to her? Honestly, I probably wouldn’t do the best either in a facebook wedding group because I forget to comment on things all the time. I will literally look at something, plan to comment back, then get involved in something else & totally forget. I wouldn’t take this as she is uninterested. I would just continue to text her if she responds that way. Send her a text & ask if she has found a dress. I wouldn’t ask if she wants out yet.

Post # 3
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If you’re coworkers, why not talk to her in person about this stuff? I’m assuming you see each other on a regular basis. 

Post # 8
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I agree with PP, some people are good with those sorts of groups, some are great with planning and others arent. I have 6 bridesmaids and have varying degrees of participation and response etc. I know they all want to be part of it, however they all have busy busy lives, so i simply havent asked much of them! I did all the leg work for the bridesmaids dresses, and a few joined to a few outings and the rest didnt. For every ‘outing’ i let everyone know when and where and leave it up to them if they can come! I had similar issue with hair and makeup; needed to be booked in advance and if all wanted it done, would need to book multiple girls (they have option of professional or DIY for both)… so i just booked who i was booking for myself and my mom, let them know how many spots were avaialble and what the price was and just said the first people to claim the spots got them! I would just message her direct or call her for information you need from her; if you still dont get a response then maybe address it.

Post # 9
Member
1591 posts
Bumble bee

How much is it going to cost her, approximately? It wasn’t my first thought, but you brought it up. 

Post # 10
Member
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

Why would she need to initiate bridesmaid stuff?  What is there to initiate?  It is not her job to help you plan your wedding.  Her job is to wear the dress that you’ve chosen on the day of the wedding and stand by your side on that day.  Other than that, there aren’t any other requirements. 

 

Post # 11
Member
559 posts
Busy bee

You will always have some good bridesmaids and others who will literally just show up on the day. I have four bridesmaids, Maid of Honour who has never been a bridesmaid before, two sisters and a sister in law. My little sister doesn’t even seem to be excited about the wedding. But I expected this! Also I know they’ll all give me an amazing hens party. 

 

Post # 13
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

If I understand your post correctly, it sounds like 4/5 bridesmaids are really close and the 5th girl (“Sally”) doesn’t really know them. 

I’m just going to play devil’s advocate here and try to put myself in Sally’s shoes. I would consider myself an easy-going, introverted person and if I was the “5th” bridesmaid I definitely would not take the lead in making suggestions. I would actually probably defer to what the other girls are saying they want. Maybe Sally is the same way? Just because she hasn’t spoken out on what her preferences are may just be due to shyness, not that she isn’t interested. 

 

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