- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I don’t know how to word this not to sound like a bitch but I am going to do the best I can.
Male gynos have seen lots of vaginas, why do certain women think their vagina is any different then the rest? Like he is going to do something inappropiate to THEIRS? Your vagina is just another one in his day. He is still a great doctor!
OP, I think you’ll find over the course of pregnancy that so many things are completely out of your control… ebst to let go a bit now and not be so controlling. If the U/S tech is a guy, so what? Does it really matter as long as he is good at his job?
@JaneDomani: I had a pap smear, breast exam and vaginal (internal) ultrasound at my 8 week appointment and my husband was present. It didn’t bother me. It blows my mind that you’ll allow your husband to get you pregnant but you can’t handle him watching you get a medical exam? From personal experience my husband sat in the corner during the exams and was behind me so couldn’t see anything. During the ultrasound my husband was so busy staring at the screen and our baby that he wasn’t paying attention to my vagina. Also the birth will be messy and what he will see on that day is way worse than a pap smear. I guess I’m just 100% comfortable with my husband so I can’t imagine caring what he will see. Its sort of weird to me that not everyone is that comfortable with their husbands. Pregnancy gets uncomfortable, messy and things happen to your body that you weren’t expecting I would get comfortable with your husband now so you have someone to lean on when that happens. Good luck.
It’s not like the exam rooms are far away from the waiting room. My doctor sees my husband and I and then at Pap smear time he just goes to the waiting room at my drs request. As for the sonogram my technician had me come into the room and get set up ( she put a blanket over my knees and inserted the camera thing) and then called in my husband who was right outside the door. Honestly she didnt even look at me while putting the camera in place and she offered me to insert it.. Which I declined bc who knew where it was suppose to go. As for how it felt.. It didnt hurt or feel uncomfortable it just felt like it was pressing against me as opposed to actually bring inside of me. Hope this helps!
ALL of the other blood work/pap/urine for glucose was done at my 12 week appointment (otherwise known as IPN).
Your husband will be SO busy looking at the baby on the monitor, he won’t even know how the hell they’re even doing the ultrasound to look at it. In any cases that I have had an internal ultrasound, they don’t even look at your ladybits… they just know where to go… since they techs do this daily. If you’re not comfortable with a male tech, and can’t get a female, just ask that you can insert the wand yourself.
In the end, it all needs to be done and it’s not that serious. You will have WAY more people inspecting your parts when you have that baby and won’t be able to say anything about it.
My 8 week appointment was peeing in a cup and filling out paperwork with a nurse. I didn’t even see the OB. There was no sono, no doppler. At 12 weeks, I met the OB, had a pap, and was sent for bloodwork and given an appointment to come back later for the NT scan with a tech.
Your hubby wont’ be able to see anything they’re doing if that’s what you’re worried about. You have a sheat over you for a pap, the internal (which really isn’t bad, if it hurt they wouldn’t do it), and I’ve even had doctors do a breat exam under my gown. Don’t stress your self out, it’ll be fine! You hubby will be in the room for a lot worse with the labor! 🙂 I had my first sonogram done at 5 1/2 weeks so they had to do an internal to see anything. My second was at 7 weeks and my hormone levels were so high the nurse wanted to try the abdonminal and see if she could find the baby that way. She saw the baby and the heartbeat abdoninally. So this may be the only internal you have anyway, don’t worry! I was also do for my pap so the doctor did it at my normal visit at 7 weeks, no big deal.
I can’t believe how rude, judgmenmtal, and presumptuous SO MANY people are being on this thread! I personally don’t have any trouble with vaginal exams, whether it be a male or female doctor/nurse/tech carrying out the procedure. But do I think this makes me qualified to harp at someone who is made to feel uncomfortable by this, and tell them they need to just ‘get over it’ and imply that they are overreacting? God, no! A quick skim and over 50% of the responses to this thread have been telling the OP she is wrong to feel the way she does. Wow. Super unimpressed by this community right now. I thought you were nicer girls than this 🙁
Everybody has different comfort levels when it comes to medical procedures, especially when they involve our sexual parts and doctors of the opposite sex. I find it unfathomable that so many people would lash out at someone for expressing a desire to know ahead of time what is going to happen regarding their body, their privacy, and their dignity, at an upcoming medical appointment. There should always be the option for a female nurse or technician, in potentially sensitive examinations. As has been said by previous posters, this is not only an issue of personal comfort level, but takes into consideration religion, culture, and history of abuse. I would expect most people with any kind of awareness of the world around them to realize this immediately.
OP – it sounds like you have this figured out now so this probably isn’t relevant anymore, but the reason they couldn’t tell you ahead of time whether it would be abdominal or vaginal is, until they try abdominal, they don’t if it will work. For instance if you have a uterus that is tilted back, it might be more difficult to see abdominally, at such an early stage. They will often try abdominally first, and then resort to vaginally if it doesn’t work. Although, I have a tilted uterus and I was able to get an abdominal ultrasound at 8 weeks.
I’m with @araneidae, I am actually sickened by how utterly rude some of you are being. Some of you guys should honestly be ashamed of yourselfs. I’m sure each of you has something that you feel uncomfortable about, and even though I may not feel the same way I would never put you down or tell you to “get over it”. She feels uncomfortable and no amount of yelling or telling her she’s stupid is gonig to help her, so I don’t know what the point it. Unless it makes you feel better to put other people down? And before you say, “I was just giving an opinion”. there is always a nice, helpful way to give your differing opinon (as some have), without putting someone down.
Having sex with your husband one on one is NOT that same as having another male poke and prod at your naked body in front of him. It’s great if you are comfortable with that, all power to ya. But everyone is different.
And for all of you saying that male doctors deserve the same respect as female doctors, where was the OP disrespecting male doctors?!?!? No one thinks they are in this profession to get their jollies. But it doesn’t mean that any woman should be forced to go to a male doctor just because he “earned his title”. The person paying for their care has a right to choose who gives it to them. Period.
These board are supposed to be for support, but the more I read, the more negativety I’m seeing. Very dissapointing.
Honestly, you have an unusual situation, so you need to realize you are going to have to be proactive with them. Just call them and explain you are a patient and you have some sensitivities/anxieties you need to discuss with them in advance of the appointment and that you need to talk with a nurse who can address these issues with you by phone before you come in.
You are not a routine patient, so you shouldn’t expect that every staff member who answers the phone can handle this request. You should expect that as a health care provider, they are obligated to discuss your care with you.
Good luck. Doctor’s offices (and especially gyno offices) deal with people all the time who have sensitivities to certain types of exams due to trauma, or prefer same sex exams as a personal preference. But not all staff deal with these issues, and you are just going to have to explain your unique situation.
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