(Closed) Really Upset-Missing my sister

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

That is so sad. Have you spoken to your parents about this. Maybe they can help resolve the issue. 

Post # 5
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Bostongrl25: ๐Ÿ™ I’m sorry. I hope she comes around. She will regret it big time if she doesn’t. 

Post # 6
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

So she’s been pretty much giving you the silent treatment for a year and a half over a friend’s bridal shower invites? Wow, overreaction much…

I’m very blunt and the tough love sort when it comes to people being unreasonable, so I’d probably either go over to her place or get her on the phone and tell her to suck it up; does she really want to ruin her relationship with you over stationery? I’d let her know that having her as a part of your wedding would mean a lot to you and that you hope she can get over what was basically a super-sized temper tantrum and act like your sister again.

And if she wants to throw away a relationship over a few pieces of paper, well then she’s going to be one lonely person someday, because most people would have given up on her by now.

Post # 7
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry you are going through this, from personal experience I know it sucks. I don’t have any good advice for you, but if you ever need to talk don’t hesitate to reach out.

Post # 9
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

While it sucks not to include her in the wedding planning and stuff because she is your sister, even if she comes around and starts acting like and adult today and apologizes and vows to never do this again, you can’t trust her. She’s a loose canon, and you don’t need that in your bridal party.

Sometimes, regardless of how closely related someone is to you or what they used to mean to you, you need to cut their toxic influence from your life. If your sister wants to act like this and be alone, let her. You don’t need her ruining what should be a very happy time for you.

Post # 12
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2012

 You must be the adult in this situation because you can only control yourself.  Your sister may need a little more time not to get over the fight but to mature.  As short and unpredicatble as life is one cannot afford to take family for granted over something as petty an invitation regardless of what was promised to her.  You have reached out.  You have done your job.  Step away and now wait until she gets to the place where she needs to be.  I know it hurts but unfortunately no one ever said that in this life you wont hurt.  You have to keep  loving her, hold  your head up high and move on.  Continue your communication with her but don’t expect your ideal response.  Let her know that there is always an open door of communication with her and that you love her.  Its okay that she may not like your Fiance becasue you are marrying him not her.  She has to come to the realization on her own that whaterver she is blaming him for number one cant be changed and number two is not his fault.  25 is still very young (expecially with these kids out here today) so give her some time.  

Post # 13
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m having issues with my bro’s SO, so much so that it’s causing problems with wedding invites and such, because to me, the SO is the reason my relationship with my brother now sucks. It’s a very long story, and irrelevant to my advice (though it was a bigger deal than shower invites, at least from my perspective), but it does kind of give me the other side of this.

So, from this side (sort of), my advice would be to try to work on building your relationship with your sister without your fiance–don’t bring him to lunch to meet up with her, and at first, don’t even mention him/talk about the wedding, etc. Take the time to focus on what you’ve shared, and why she’s an important part of your life. As you start to reconnect, she’ll hopefully begin to see the role of your Fiance in your life, but don’t focus on trying to get her to like your FI–it’s putting pressure on the already-strained part of your relationship.

And good luck! It’s hard to lose a relationship with someone who used to be a big part of your life. I hope you are able to reconnect, but be willing to giver her the time she needs to come around.

Post # 15
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My sister and I had a complete falling-out recently and it was serious enough that we didn’t speak to each other for a long time.  It’s taken us years to begin healing what once was a strong bond.  I was devastated without her and hurt enough that we were beyond apologies.  It just took time. 

I’m a big believer in it doesn’t matter who apologizes first.  Just apologize.  Reach out to her and let her say whatever she needs to say.  Sometimes people just need to be heard. 

 

Post # 16
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Bostongrl25: Oh my. I remember the problems you were having with your sister, and I’m so sorry they haven’t been resolved yet.

I feel for you so much and I can relate. In January 2011 some family Drama happened between my parents and my brother & his girlfriend. She is ripping apart our family and I haven’t talked to my brother really since april. I chatted with him for about an hour late last month, thinking I could try to patch things up, maybe help him see where my parents are coming from and how hurt we all are that we haven’t seen or heard from him in months. It ended up with me bawling my eyes out and him telling me that our families feelings are invalid. I haven’t heard from him since, and he’s been invited to our wedding (without her, that’s how bad it is!) and I’m just not even sure what to make of it. He hasn’t shown one ounce of exitement towards my engagement, he never sent back his rsvp.

Honestly, I completely understand where you’re coming from. I guess, what I’ve decided to do (whether correct or not) is to let it play out it’s course. Let them stay mad because we can only do so much, and if they aren’t willing to make it work in return, there’s nothing left to do.

*BIG HUGZ*

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